OF1: Old Friends
by LizD
Summary: Reposted By Request Complete AU Picks up at the retirement party for Adm Chegwidden.
1. Default Chapter

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter One: **What's Up With Mac?**

By: LizD

Spoilers: Through End of Season 9

Notes: Picks up at the retirement party for Adm Chegwidden, after Mac has told Harm there is something he needs to know about her Medical Condition

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

**Old Friends - Chapter One**

**What's Up With Mac?**

**2145 EST – May 21, 2004**

**Officer's Club, Annapolis**

"Men just seem to pass through my life." She paused before she looked up at him. "Except for you." She got serious. "Will you always be there?" She knew he would be.

"Yes." He answered with a simple sincerity that he had rarely shown with her.

She turned toward him and clasped her hands together tightly in her lap. "Then you need to know what the doctor told me." The words were full of a profound sadness that was near to breaking Harm's heart.

She wasn't prepared to report the news she had received that day to anyone else - yet. She wasn't prepared to hear the words confirmed in her ears by her own voice. She had barely understood what she had learned that afternoon herself. There was so much more she needed to do, needed to know, needed to understand before acceptance set in and then there would be a myriad of decisions that she needed to make. This information was hours old. So she took a moment to gather her thoughts.

He waited … he waited more patiently than she thought he would have. He took her hand, thread his fingers through hers and held on tightly. He gave her the time she needed.

Who was this man who sat before her with love and concern in his eyes? This man who had just offered to be the father of her child – albeit a little presumptuous considering their past year and ill timed considering the recent death of her latest … well just considering.

Could he really be Harmon Rabb Jr.; the same Harmon Rabb she met eight years prior? Was he the same young hotshot pilot, lawyer, righter of wrongs, tenacious defender of truth and honor who would sandbag her in court to win his case or shoot him self in the foot to see justice done? Was this the same man who would tease her, mock her, ridicule her when he did not get his way? Was he the same man who would give her the shirt off his back and every last drop of blood in his veins all the while making her believe that she was nothing more than a friend? Was this the same man to whom she gave her friendship, her loyalty, her scorn, who was her ally, adversary, the thorn in her side, the bane of her existence? Could this man be the same man who backed away from her every time they got close? Could the man who held her hand so tightly be the very same arrogant, self-centered, self-indulgent, conceited, jealous, sarcastic, noncommittal, dedicated, generous, moral, honest, good, trustworthy man she fell in love with so many years ago?

No, this man was not that man. He had the same eyes. At the very least he was eight years older – but as they say it was not the years but the miles. Harm and she had put on a lot of miles together and separately. No, this man was the newest iteration – version of that man. This version would not only always be there for her, this edition was immobile and unmovable. He would not back away – not this time, and not ever again. The man before her would see it through with her – whatever "it" was. Hell, he would probably confess his feelings for her if she asked. Had he really changed that much? Was the change too subtle to see yet inescapable to feel? She felt it. Was she in love with this man – this version of Harmon Rabb – in love as much she had been with the man she met years ago in spite of the horrible things they had said and done to each other over the years?

Yes, she was in love with him - still.

Funny, he had never asked her that. He had asked her about Dalton and Brumby and Webb, but he never asked about himself, probably because he was not prepared to offer up an answer if she had returned the question. Could she have lied if he asked her directly? No, probably not. Would he have lied? More than likely he would have evaded the answer like she had done with Dalton, Brumby and Webb. Would it have surprised him to know that she loved him through all those other men? She even convinced herself that her feelings for him were separate and apart from her feelings for the others so that she could indulge both. Of course neither Dalton nor Brumby thought it was possible for her to have both and Webb would have come to the same conclusion - - - if he had lived.

Still he waited.

Should she tell him what she was told? Should burden him with her problem? What if he couldn't deal with it? What if he wanted to take back his offer? He would always be there, but in what capacity? Could she take a chance on coming clean with him only to lose him with too much information or by shutting a door to a future that they both had wanted? That answer was 'yes'. She owed it to herself to bring him into the loop; she owed it to him to tell him what she knew – if anyone else had a right to know about this new development it was Harm. He had always been there for her and he just reaffirmed her belief that he always would be – as for the capacity of how there he really would be…? She knew the answer to that – as close as she would let him.

"I'm sorry." She said by way of explaining what was taking her so long. "I was not prepared to talk about this tonight."

He paused for a moment to consider what he should say. "You don't have to tell me … tonight, if you would rather not." He said gently. "But I want you to know, whatever it is – I'm not going to let you deal with it by yourself."

'He meant that.' She thought. She knew he meant that. Before her sat a man who had been in integral part of her life for that past eight years but it felt like forever. Integral hell, he had been essential, vital, crucial … fundamental. Not a day had gone by that Harm was not thought of, considered or bemoaned. He was waiting for her to tell him something that was bad. He had no idea how bad, but he knew it was something he could not fix. Harm was helpless – not a good color for him. There was nothing that Mighty Mouse could do this time. That alone must be frustrating him to no end. His imagination was probably taking him to the worst possible case scenario as he waited for her to find the words. Yet, he was willing to blindly accept whatever fate had dealt them – note: not 'her' – 'them'. Could he make that commitment without having all the facts? Yes.

Mac felt safe enough to tell him what she knew. She took a deep breath, winced a little at that residual pain from the procedure and calmly, rationally and with her best lawyerlike detachment she told him all that she understood from the doctor and what she had gleaned from the handful of pamphlets that she has been sent home with.

"I have endometriosis." She stated clearly. "According to the doctor it is a pretty severe case."

She felt his grip on her hand tighten ever so slightly as he nodded for her to continue. She did.

She explained that endometriosis was a condition where the lining of the uterus (endometrium) was found in locations outside the uterus (ovaries, bowel, bladder etc). No one knew exactly what caused endometriosis but it was not an uncommon disease. It effected 10 - 15 of women in their child bearing years. If the disease was not treated the problems tended to get worse – as in her case. She must have had it for years and wrote the pain off as 'normal.' If diagnosed early it could usually be treated effectively, but it could come back. It could not be cured.

"Some women with endometriosis have had difficulty getting pregnant." She stopped to check in with him. "Are you with me so far?"

He smiled at her attempt to make him comfortable talking about a women's issue. "I am." He said. "Go on." He wanted all the facts before he would make any kind of comment but he did hear and understand that what she was telling him was that she might not be able to have a baby – his or anyone else's.

She continued.

The symptoms of endometriosis were pain with period, during ovulation, in the bowel during menstruation, when passing urine, during or after intercourse and in the lower back region. Her recent physical relationship with Clay must have exacerbated the problem, she thought, but did not share that with Harm. Other symptoms may include diarrhea or constipation, abdominal bloating, heavy or irregular bleeding, constant tiredness or increasing PMT. If a woman had pelvic pain the most probable cause would be endometriosis

Diagnosis – definite diagnosis – of endometriosis was only possible by the direct observation of the misplaced endometrium. That required a laparoscopy (the procedure that Mac had that afternoon), where a fine telescope was inserted into the abdominal cavity through a tiny incision to allow inspection of the pelvic organs. Sometimes tissue samples were taken to confirm the diagnosis as they were in her case.

There were three different ways the doctor suggested to treat the endometriosis: surgery, drugs and natural therapies. Historically doctors had recommended a hysterectomy, but thankfully there were other methods now. Surgery to remove the endometrium was an effective way to control endometriosis. However, many women have undergone a surgery a year for over 10 years and still fail to find relief from their pain. It was important that ALL the endometriosis was removed at the time of surgery for good results. The endometriosis was removed by excision, laser ablation, vaporization, or coagulation. The least invasive kind of surgery, and therefore the most preferred, was a laparoscopy (a similar procedure to the one she had, but with a different goal). This surgery was performed on an outpatient basis. Expert surgeons were able to perform very complicated surgeries using laparoscopies. A more invasive kind of surgery was called laparotomy, which requires hospitalization. It was considered major abdominal surgery.

After surgery the doctor would recommend drug or hormone therapy to prevent any return. In general, the hormonal treatments for endometriosis attempt to mimic the state of pregnancy, that was, postpone ovulation and thereby control the production of estrogen in the body. Many women experience significant side effects while taking these hormones, some of which may be irreversible. In addition, many of these treatments can only be taken for a short period of time, to eliminate other significant health problems.

Another treatment of strategy was to actually get pregnant, but again that only lasted for a short period of time.

"There is no cure for endometriosis," Mac finished. "But there are methods of treatment."

Harm was stilled. He had listened to every word, but he was still processing it all.

"And that is all I know at this moment." She continued.

"Is it cancer?" He asked fearing the worse.

"No." She squeezed his hand back. "And it is not life threatening. Though I have read that for some women the pain can be so bad they wish they were dead."

"Don't say that." He took his hand away and wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. In his head, he was thanking the powers that be that it was not life threatening.

She winced in pain. Between recovering from the laparoscopy and the pain that she had been living with for the past several months, it was hard to know what was real pain and what was just discomfort.

"I'm sorry." He let her go quickly sorry to be the one to cause her pain.

"It's really ok." She smiled at him weakly. She would have preferred he continue to hold her.

He took her hand again. "How are you with all of this?" He asked gently.

"I don't know yet." She smiled weakly. "I am still numb."

He nodded. A lot had been thrown at her – at them – in the past week after a very rough year.

"What did the doctor recommend?" He asked.

Mac kind of smirked. "She made an appointment with me for next week to give me her final recommendations. She told me to go home, take it easy, do a little research and discuss my options … with my significant other."

Harm squirmed. Up until a few days ago, Harm believed that he was not in that category. He got it by default or an act of God or some thing. He felt like a stand in for the man she really wanted. He nodded and looked down.

"Harm?" She touched his face so he would look at her. "Harm." She lost her voice for a moment. "Harm, I need you to know something else."

He smiled weakly and Mac saw the consternation behind his eyes. How much more could he take? Here he was trying to fill a seat – which he would argue he earned ten times over – but by belonged to another man, a man he had called a friend, a comrade, a rival; a man that Mac had chosen over him; a man who had just died. The body wasn't even cold yet. Well actually it was cold and he was not coming back, but he was far from forgotten. Harm felt like a heel. But what was he supposed to do? She needed someone and Harm needed to be that someone. Did it really matter that he was second string or the nice safe back up? Was he going to let his ego get in the way again? The answer – this time – was a resounding NO.

"Harm, you need to know that I wouldn't have been able to discuss this with Clay."

He shook his head slightly. He didn't want her to say that either.

"Clay and I did not have that type of relationship." She looked away. "Oh, he would have been supportive and understanding – at least when he was in town."

"Mac, don't." Harm didn't want her to speak ill of the dead – of a man she had loved (or at least cared for very deeply), just to soothe his poor ego.

"No, let me finish. Clay would have listened and discussed this with me, but in the end it would be my decision, my decision alone. He would not have made it with me. His work came first, that was a given from the beginning. I was trying to learn how to deal with that."

Harm nodded.

"If I had said that I wanted to have a baby as soon as possible because I was terrified that if I waited I wouldn't be able to – he would not have stepped up to the plate."

"Mac, you don't know that." Harm said gently.

"I know that I would have had to raise that child by myself regardless of whether or not Clay had lived."

"Mac." He didn't know what to say. He didn't want her to diss Clay or some how regret her choice. He didn't want to thrust himself any further into the mix by telling her that he would never have let her raise Clay's or anyone else's baby by herself. However, he still didn't want to be the fall back guy.

"Harm it is true. Clay was not willing to make that kind of commitment to our relationship – and I was trying to figure out what I was going to do about that. I assumed I had more time." She looked away. "Now I don't get to make a choice – about him or about when I want to start a family."

Harm's first thought was to add – 'or with who.' But it felt mean and nasty to accuse her of choosing him to father her children because he was available and willing and for no other reason. So that was not what he said. Looks like our boy Harm is growing up.

Instead he said, "There are choices Mac. There are options still open to you. What you have is not terminal. As long as you are a live there are choices. You can have everything you want in life – you may just need to change some of your expectations."

Damn, now he was making a case for her to pick him cause he was the only one still standing. That was not what he meant; he was talking about having a family.

"You may be right." She knew what he meant and didn't truly believe it. It hadn't occurred to her to think anything else.

Harm heaved a heavy sigh worried that he said too much or not enough. "Whatever happens tomorrow, we don't need to make a decision tonight." He smiled at her tentatively. "You look exhausted, come on, I will take you home." He stood, put out his hand and waited for her.

She followed him with her eyes but did not make an attempt to move.

"Mac?"

"Thank you." She said simply and easily but very sincerely.

"Welcome."

"No," she continued. "I mean it. Thank you for listening to me, for taking care of me, for being here." She shook her head and struggled to her feet. "I have so much to thank you for."

"No, you don't."

"I do." She continued. "This last year – you and I have been in such a bad place. I know that that was mostly my fault."

"Not all your fault."

"Not all – but more than half. As bad as things got between us … I have always known that …" Mac swallowed hard. She was going to confess her love for him and going to claim that she knew that he loved her, but words failed her. Maybe that was too much honesty for one night. "I don't know what I would have done if I got this news in the middle of all that. I don't know how I would have managed without you."

"Mac, please." He was trying to dismiss her, to push her gratitude aside. In his gut he still felt like the first runner up who won because the winner was unable to carry out the duties – like Miss America. He was second – always second with Mac, the back up, the stand in. He would learn to live with it, but one thing he did not want was her gratitude. "You would never have been alone."

"Will you shut up for a minute?" she said playfully. "I owe you so much – from saving my life to … saving my life." She was talking literally as well as figuratively. She took his hand in both of hers.

Harm was the first person she thought of when the doctor had given her the news. Harm was one – the only one – she needed to talk to about this turn of events. Harm was always the first one she thought of or turned to whenever anything happened in her life – if indeed she turned to anyone. The moment she got information about Webb, Harm was the one she needed to tell. When Sadik was stalking her, Harm was the one she needed to process with. When Brumby left her to go back to Australia – Harm was the one who would have seen her through it if it were not for seriously bad timing and Mac's hurt pride. There was so many other times – too many to count. This past year when they were so far apart emotionally, Harm's position as first was made painfully clear to her – painfully. Harm was always first with Mac – she just never felt like she had done enough to earn the first prize. And now she felt like it was being offered to her without merit. She told herself to take him, hang on, and do everything in her power to earn his love – earn it for the rest of her life.

"Thank you." She said again. Again she wanted to tell him that she loved him but something in his eyes said he would not hear it then.

He smiled at her softly. "Let me take you home."

She nodded, slunk her arm around him and tucked herself into his embrace and allowed him to take care of her.

As they left the party quietly, people took note. Sturgis, Bud, Harriet and Jennifer all saw them together and breathed a sigh of relief. Finally it looked as if they had put their differences aside to be together. Sturgis had an idea of what brought about this change, but he could not share it with anyone. Jennifer also had information that she thought had a bearing on this newfound closeness, and was heartened to see that the colonel would help the commander through this time. Harriet and Bud didn't care what had brought it on, they were just happy to see their friends and mentors together.

The night for them would have been a good start down a path that they both had wanted to tread for a long time. Nothing had changed other than the acceptance that they would meet what came next together. There was still too much reality that needed to be sifted through.

For Mac, her future weighed more heavily on her mind than her past. Since she had never pictured Webb there, the fact that he would not be there was not painful. She was sorry that he was gone. She was sorry that she would not get to finish with him appropriately. But selfish or not – Mac was more concerned that the only thing she had ever known for sure in her life – that she wanted to be a mother – may not be an option for her. It comforted her to know that she was going to meet this problem with Harm by her side. Harm was the only one she could have gone through this with. No matter the future, no matter what path – Harm was the one she wanted beside her. And he was right – there were options.

For Harm, he was still reeling from the knowledge that he would lose Mattie soon – albeit lose her in the name of family reconciliation, his original goal. He was still tentative about the admiral leaving JAG and what that would mean for them all. And now the dream of being a father to Mac's baby may also have been lost to him. It was a lot to deal with, but his mind was not on himself or what he had lost – it was on her. Mac was still dealing with Webb's death and now she had some health issues that needed to be tended to. He could not push any Mac agenda of his own – not any time soon. He wanted to chide himself for bring up the baby deal, but in the end it got Mac to open up to him. So he resolved to take it slowly. He had waited too long to rush this part. He had loved her too long and too much to ruin it by asking for too much too soon.

He took her home and waited as she showered and changed. She told him she would not sleep, so he built a fire, made tea, held her gently and let her talk or be silent as she needed. He was nearly everything she needed him to be. She felt so comforted, so attended to, so completely loved – that she felt brazen enough to ask for that last thing she needed. It was a mistake.

Why ask for something more? That night, that perfect space of hours where the world seemed like an unfamiliar place, she had finally known, accepted and returned unconditional love – something she had never known in her life. It was a love that was not shrouded in sex but it was the kind of love that partners in life share. It lifted her up – lifted he up so high – she had to get down before she fell. She got scared.

So, she shot herself in the foot – hell she emptied her clip into her foot, reloaded and emptied another one.

She ruined it.


	2. 2

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Two

By: LizD

Spoilers: Through End of Season 9

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

Old Friends - Chapter Two 

"I ruined it." Mac stated out loud with a resigned remorse. "I fired everything I had and blew my foot clean off. I obliterated any chance we had."

Dr. Gates Madden looked under the table at Mac's two perfectly intact feet and said, "Well your foot seems to be healing well" and laughed.

Mac was forced to smile but did not let go of her remorse. "I ruined it, pretty much like I ruin everything."

"You kissed him didn't you," Gates stated matter-of-factly. She was a woman Mac's age with a look of an old hippy about her – kind of free spirited, wild and full of too much of something, but clear eyed and wise.

Mac nodded sheepishly.

Gates shook her head at her old friend. Clearly she was not feeling the same level of dramatic tragedy as Mac was. In fact she was rather amused.

Mac and Gates had been best friends from second grade through high school. They were inseparable. Sadly they lost touch after Mac got married and never really caught back up with each other. Both of Gates parents had been doctors in the Navy. Her father was an internist and her mother was a shrink. Mac would often spend time at their house when things got too rough at home. Gates' father died about the same time as Mac's mother left which gave the girls a reason to act out. They had been drinking buddies through high school, but there was so much more to the two of them. They were a matched pair – one left and one right. Gates moved away when they were eighteen to live with her aunt in Pasadena – they had promised to stay in touch, but life got in the way.

Mac about dropped her teeth when Gates was introduced as the agency shrink who would do the final debrief. The whole day – couple of days – had accelerated out-of-control like some surreal speeding train with no one at the controls. Mac had been feeling impeding doom until she met the eyes of the only woman friend in the world who could bring her back down to reality. Mac immediately knew she was no longer alone and she would never lose contact with Gates again.

Mac was woken up on Saturday morning – the morning after she destroyed any chance she and Harm had – at 0516 by four agents pounding on her door. She had gotten almost no sleep that night but was still not awake enough to deal with them. The agents told her that she was expected at Langley but gave no reason. Mac knew the reason, they wanted to debrief her and find out what she knew about Clay's mission and anything else she could tell them that he might have let slip. They didn't know him very well. She was surprised that it took them this long to get around to her.

She was not allowed to make a phone call, leave a note or contact anyone in any way. If she needed to get a message through it would be done by one of the agents. As she dressed she thought about what she message she would have relayed to Harm.

"Mr. Rabb, Miss MacKenzie says she is sorry about kissing you last night and hopes that you will forgive her."

"Commander, the colonel is concerned about your eye and wanted to extend her deepest apology."

"Harm – she says 'don't hate her'."

Yeah, those would all go over well. No she would just have to handle it with Harm when she was released. The forced time apart might actually be better for them. I don't know who she was kidding, no one here believed that.

Two of the agents took her to Langley and the other two stayed behind to "clean" the apartment. Meaning that they were looking for anything Clay might have left behind of a classified nature. The apartment was a wreck after the night before. Normally, she would be embarrassed by the mess but this morning she just didn't give a rat's behind. Let them sift through the wreckage and make what they could of it.

She had been interviewed, questioned, interrogated, grilled, cross-examined from 0600 to 1600 – or there abouts – over ten hours - with only a few breaks for mother nature and when the agents did a shift change. They tried to trip her up, they tried to get her to lie, they tried to get her to tell them things that were none of their business. Her anger was the only thing that kept her strong. She was determined that Clay's legacy to her was not to break under the pressure of the CIA. That coupled with the fact that neither he nor she had done anything wrong was what kept her on track. She returned none of the questions, she did not get angry and she did not let on that she knew he was dead. But it was clearly understood by everyone in the room.

Finally Director Kershaw came in. Apologized for the 'debriefing' and told her that Webb was dead. He would give her no details but said that this interview was a necessary evil. Mac did not agree, but was grateful for it to be over. He said that the last thing before she could leave was to be check out by an agency shrink. Seems that these types of grillings and the loss of an agent on the family can have some sort of negative psychological effect. You think?

That's when Gates walked in. Mac recognized her right away but made no show of it until the other agents had left. If they had known that Gates and Mac were old friends, they never would have allowed Gates to do the final evaluation on Mac.

The two women caught up briefly but clearly Mac needed to get out of there. So they took care of business. They talked about her experience that day and her experience with Webb. Gates knew Webb. She was the shrink he spoke to after Paraguay. She had no idea that the 'Sarah' Webb spoke about was her old drinking buddy Mac MacKenzie. Gates hadn't put the two together until she was handed Mac's file that morning -- need to know and all.

Mac was actually dealing with Webb's death rather well. She understood her anger at him for letting her believe that he was going to Germany and was in no danger. She would have rather had him be honest with her. She was a big girl and can manage her own fears. She was handling the loss as well as could be expected, but when you never put too much stock in something, it is not such a great loss when it is gone. Mac knew that he might not come back – she just figured it would be sometime in the future that she would have to deal with that.

They discussed the relationship a little and Mac was firmly on the side of 'it was not going to last' or 'it was doomed from the beginning.' When Gates asked why it was doomed, the subject of Harm came up. Gates asked if that was what was really bothering her. Mac briefly told Gates about her relationship with Harm. Pretty much hitting the high – rather LOW points of the past eight years. All right, so it wasn't so 'brief' – there was a lot to cover. She finished with their discussion on the porch, his promise to always be there, her disclosure of her diagnosis and then alluded to her self-destructive behavior that followed.

"I ruined it, pretty much like I ruin everything." The pain in Mac's voice was palpable. "It was perfect and I ruined it."

Gates heard the pain, but still felt that Mac was overreacting. "You kissed him didn't you."

Mac nodded.

"And it wasn't an Aunt Myrna peck on the cheek?" Gates added.

Mac shook her head 'no'.

"Or a quick thanks-for-the-ride-home-sorry-you-have-to-be-leaving-so-soon?" She asked vainly though clearly still amused.

"No." Mac confirmed.

"You lip locked him." She grinned like she had found the last piece of the puzzle.

"Pretty much." Mac nodded.

"No the first time for you two."

"No – well it was the first time I initiated it." Mac corrected.

"So you deserve some credit for that." Gates offered.

Mac shook her head – there was no credit to be had.

"So your timing was a little off – sounds to me like that is SOP for you two." She smiled. "I am assuming this did not go over well."

"Hardly. At first, I think I surprised him." Mac looked away. "But then --."

"He put a stop to it." She stated like she was there.

"Rather abruptly."

"He got mad?" Gates was surprised. How many men would rudely stop a seduction from a woman like Mac?

"Yeah – kind of, but really he was not willing to …"

"Get carried away?"

"There was no where to get carried away to." Mac berated herself. "I was still recovering from the laparoscopy I had had. It was a stupid, thoughtless, selfish, emotional – I am an idiot. What the hell did I expect to happen?"

"Nothing wrong with a good gut feeling, Macky."

Mac gave her a 'puh-lease' look.

"So he put a stop to it – no HARM done." The doctor smiled. "Pardon the pun."

Mac laughed in spite of herself. She had missed her friend all these years and was freshly reminded of that fact.

"So." Gates changed tactics. "Good for him – a man with integrity. He won't take advantage of a vulnerable woman. Integrity – that is damn hard to find in this day and age and especially in this town."

Mac shrugged like it didn't matter what she had found because she had flushed it down the toilet.

"What? It is no big deal. You are not the first woman to seek comfort in the arms of a man. Nor are you the only woman who has ever confused sex and love." The woman sat forward. "I know for a fact this is not the first time you have."

"Gates." Mac got uncomfortable with this woman knowing so much about her.

"Come on Mac, I was at your wedding." Gates claimed. "That was lust."

"That is ancient history." Mac warned playfully.

"You were so drunk ---."

"Under control." Mac cut her off. "Everyday – it is under control."

"That's good." Then the shrink in her came out. "Do you feel like drinking? Do you still think about it everyday? After Harm left, did you want a drink?"

"No – No and not every day, but there were times when Clay would bring it into the house that I thought about it."

"Webb brought alcohol into your house? Did he NOT KNOW you were an alcoholic?"

"He knew I didn't drink."

Gates got mad. What a jerk Webb was for doing that. Mac was dealing with a lot of shit and there he was selfishly dealing with his own. Gates didn't like Webb. She didn't like him before she knew he was involved with her friend – but now she really didn't like him. If he weren't dead, she would have a few choice words for him.

"Isn't it a little inappropriate that you are doing this debrief since we are such OLD FRIENDS and all?" Mac teased.

"Do you want another doctor?" She asked sincerely.

"No." Mac affirmed.

"Good, back to the subject at hand --." Gates continued.

"I am not here to discuss my relationship with --." Mac started to get defensive.

"Do you need to talk any more about Webb?" Gates dropped into her doctor stance. "Seems to me like you are a little preoccupied at the moment with this Harm character." If truth were told, Gates didn't want to talk about Webb.

"That disaster is fresher in my mind, but with so many disasters to chose from …" Mac smiled.

"Let's take them one at a time."

"You are the best Gates."

"Don't worry sweet pea – you got eighteen years of my crap to sift through when we are done here."

"How are you?"

"I have been better and I have been worse – but we now we are not talking about me – save that for when we have more time." She smiled.

"You know I will."

"I know." Gates was also glad to have Mac back in her life. "So - last drama first, it is very natural. Your … your … your desire … your reactions … your actions. You were with a man you loved, he had promised things that you read about in fairy tales, the next logical step was to confirm your love … physically. The fact that you had lost your lover – a lover who kept you apart from the man you really wanted – days ago and hours before you were told that your God given gift to bring life into the word was not such a great gift – and I won't even get into all that Sadik/Paraguay shit – SO … you action were just ill timed."

"ILL TIMED?" Mac was amused that her friend could so blithely write it off – write that whole year off.

"It lends to the idea that you were looking for a little validation."

"Validation?"

"That you were still attractive, desirable – a woman who could ---."

"Get a man?" Mac stated caustically.

"My point is … you wanted validation that you were still attractive to THAT man in spite of all other crap. Hell with the dance you two had been doing since you met – I can certainly see why you might need some validation." She leaned in like she was telling Mac a secret. "This is not the end of the world."

"Oh no?"

"No." She leaned back in her chair. "So you call a spade a spade and you move on. It is not the death nail."

Mac stood and crossed over to the window – actually it was a two-way mirror. "Is there anyone in there?" Mac looked back at Gates.

"No." She stated clearly. "The only door in or out of that room is the one next to you. Open it and find out."

"Are you testing me?" Mac all of a sudden felt like she didn't know Gates at all.

Gates rose, crossed to the door and opened it. "No."

"I am sorry." Mac stated. "I guess I am still a little paranoid."

"Having been involved with the CIA in any way can tend to make anyone paranoid." She sat back down. "Trust me, I have been working for these lowlifes for fifteen years. I know all about paranoia – and let me tell you – just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you." She smirked.

Mac took a moment to really study her old friend. "It is good to see you Gates." Mac said earnestly.

"It is good to see you." She said back. "But let's finish this before we do the serious catching up."

"Is that my friend or the agency shirk talking."

"Your friend is a shrink who works for the agency – it would be hard to pick." She motioned for Mac to sit down. "So why do you think your indiscretion has ruined your relationship with Harm."

"If it had been a simple …what did you call it? An indiscretion – it might not have."

"Something happened after you kissed him." The doctor finished her thought.

"That was the beginning of the end." Mac shook her head at the memory she had been fighting to forget. "If I could turn back time."

There was a quick knock on the door and then a young agent poked his head in. "Dr. Madden, are you finished?"

"No." She glared at the young man.

"Well … um … I mean …" the man stammered. The doctor scared him more than his bosses.

"You need the room." The doctor stated.

"Yes and your report."

"There will be no report – Colonel MacKenzie's file is classified and will be reviewed on an as needed basis in my presence in my office – and you can tell Kershaw that personally."

The kid was stunned.

"Unless you are afraid to." The doctor challenged the young man.

Mac turned away and smiled. She knew her friend acting out for her benefit and she was sorry that Gates was taking it out on this poor kid. Still, she had missed her old friend. She had missed having a girl friend. Dr. Gates Madden was not only the right person in the right place at the right time – but Mac and she picked up like they had been apart for a day even though they had not seen each other in nearly eighteen years.

"The room is yours." The doctor stood up, gathered her stuff and blew past the confused looking kid/agent at the door. "Head 'em up Mac. My office is more comfortable anyway."

Mac followed along after her. She gave a quick look to the young man who was still befuddled by the entire scene. Mac's heart sunk. They – the company, the agency – would destroy another life. They would destroy this young man's life as they had Clay's and countless other people's lives. He would wind up a nameless star on the wall.

"Get out." Mac said softly to him. "Walk away while you still can. There is nothing that these people can offer you that is worth it."

"I want to serve my country." The young man said weakly.

"Join the marines, at least you will get to keep your integrity." She smiled at him warmly and walked away.

Come on Mac, let's go grab some dinner." Gates called from down the hall.

"Dinner? Is it really that late?" Mac had lost all sense of time. The last twenty-four, thirty-six hours had been … surreal at best.

Mac had told Gates that she needed to call Harm. She had no idea what she was going to say, but she knew that he had been trying to reach her all day and probably would be fit to be tied that she had not answered. (So you see – Mac knew in her heart that it was not OVER OVER … just derailed again.)

He didn't answer. She didn't leave a message.

They decided to order food in and stay in Gates' office until Mac was able to get a hold of Harm.

"So it didn't end with him suggesting that last night not be the night you two moved your relationship to the physical level, and safe embrace and him going home."

Mac shook her head.

"Did he go home?"

"Eventually - but he should have run screaming from the room right after I kissed him."

"I gather you didn't take the rejection well and got a little ... miffed?"

"Miffed? Yeah. You could say that - if you wanted to understate it."

"You yelled at him -- you spit some things at him that you wish you hadn't --- again this is not new to you two ... from what you have told me."

"Yeah - but it didn't stop there. It started with me just sending him home. He wouldn't go. He knew I was upset – he was upset - and wanted me to understand that he didn't reject me - he was respecting me - just like last time."

"Bet that lit a fuse."

"More like a case of dynamite. The calmer and more rational and more UNDERSTANDING he got - the louder, more irate, more irrational I got."

"It escalated?"

"It escalated. I don't ever remember when I was so out of control even when I was drinking. I don't expect he will ever forgive me - not after I nearly took out his eye."

"Wait ... wait ... it got physical?" Gates' interest in this became more serious.

"Oh yeah ... pretty close to everything that was not nailed down became a projectile weapon."

"You threw stuff at him?" She asked.

"I was so angry - I was in a blind rage. During some point I was trying to make, I accidentally knocked a lamp over, it felt good to break it -- so the cup, the glasses, pretty much anything that was not nailed down was thrown." Mac defended.

Gates looked at her.

"I wasn't throwing things at him as much as I was just throwing things. I wasn't trying to hit him - but he got in the way."

"Was he trying to restrain you?"

"NO - To his credit -- no."

"To his credit?"

"At least he knows me well enough to know that I shouldn't be touched when I am that angry. And who cares if I was breaking stuff -- it was stuff - MY STUFF - glasses, vases, whatever -- things - replaceable. Harm knows the difference between replaceable and irreplaceable."

"But one of those things hit the mark."

"Yeah." Mac knew the difference too and clocking him was not a something that could be replaced. "The picture of us in Afghanistan hit him right above the eye. He probably needed stitches. There was so much blood -- he was still in his mess dress uniform - he will never be able to get that cleaned."

"Mac -- screw the uniform - did he hit you back?"

"Are you kidding? Harm would never hit a woman - never, it is not in him - and especially not me. I even baited him - I tried to get him to hit me. The blood made me rabid. I heard shit coming out of my mouth that I had never thought before much less meant."

"Like what?"

"I don't remember." Mac remembered she was embarrassed.

"Did you call his masculinity into question?" Gates offered. "Suggest that he was a passionless, emasculated, impotent Ken Doll who was probably just as SMOOTH where it counts?"

"Jesus Gates!." Mac was appalled.

"Or that he needed the F14's, fast cars, and single life PROVE how much of a real man he was. The F14 - the ultimate PHALLIC SYMBOL for a man who has none of his own."

"Gates – my GOD!"

"Did you say that there was no way he could satisfy you and then start listing out all the men who could and did?"

"NO." Mac was shocked. "Jesus Gates - where did that come from?"

"Husband number three." She smiled. "Not one of my finest hours."

"Your third husband was a pilot?"

"No, he was sub sailor - you can imagine what a field day I had with that."

"It is no wonder the marriage didn't last."

"It lasted a long time after that scene -- so if you said anything like that - you too can be forgiven."

"Well it wasn't quite that bad, but I did fall back on to the old argument of his inability to commit and how quickly he loses interest and his NEED to be ON TOP."

"That is not such a bad thing, Mac." Gates smiled slyly.

Mac shook her head. "I also threw his need to play hero at him."

"Hero?" She asked. "Oh yeah, he saved your butt in Paraguay."

"One of many times he saved my butt - as he has saved countless others." Mac sighed. "I accused him of offering to be there for me through this 'new development' because it was just one more way he could play the self-sacrificing hero."

"He stood there and took all this?"

"Most of it. He was trying to reason with me - and there was no reasoning with me. He eventually fought back but mainly tried to calm down."

"Sounds like a real scene."

"You can say that again. I had a major melt down. You could even go so far as to say that I had a psychotic break and needed a rubber room and heavy does of ---"

"HALDOL ... and plenty of it." She laughed. "I am kidding, it sounds bad but it does not sound unrecoverable."

"That's it?" Mac scolded. "That is all you have to say to a woman who has been waiting for years for the man she is hopelessly in love with to finally step up to the plate -- but who has gone out of her way to keep the plate moving so much that he never stood a chance. And finally when it looked like there was nothing she could do to sabotage him from being the one she had wanted him to be - she breaks the plate - shatters it beyond recognition."

Gates looked confused by that diatribe. "OK - I say you f&$d up, girlfriend."

"Is that the psyciatric term?"

"Pretty much."

"Thanks a lot."

"Seriously - first thing you need to do is understand - I mean really understand why you need to be so self-destructive with the relationships in your life - and make some changes."

"So you are saying I need some couch time."

"Yeah -- you could use a few hours - but so do we all. But the more immediate thing is to apologize and see if you can make nice with Harm."

"How can I even ask that of him? After everything I have done to him…"

"Do you love him?"

"Yes." Mac stated clearly and for the record.

"Are you sure?"

"More than sure - there is no question about that."

"Then you need to tell him that and tell him you want to fix it." The doctor laughed. "Fix it? It was never in working order -- I say you both could use a little couch time."

"Couples therapy -- now that is a plan destine to be shot down."

"Does he love you?"

"He did."

"It is not a light switch Mac."

"I know."

"Then he will agree." She concluded. "Or at least he will agree to try to work it out."

Mac arrived at Harm's apartment sometime around 2130. She had called several times but there was no answer and she didn't leave a message. She tried his cell, but it had been turned off. She checked her home machine and apparently the 'cleaners' never plugged it back in. When her cell phone was returned to her – all her voice mail had been wiped out as well as the memory chip. She had lost her phone book. Damn the agency.

She knocked on the door. She had to knock five times before the door opened. Tom Johnson was standing there fresh from the shower.

"Can I help you?" He didn't recognize her out of uniform or with long hair.

"I am looking for Harm." She said weakly as panic set in. Why was Tom Johnson in Harm's apartment?

Just then Mattie's door opened with the blare from the TV set filling the hallway. "Mac?"

"Mattie?"

"Harm's gone." The young woman said angrily.


	3. 3

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Three

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

Old Friends - Chapter Three 

**Sunday Morning**

USS Guadalcanal 

**Location Undisclosed**

Harm stepped off the Helo onto the deck of the Guadalcanal and was greeted by the resident JAG. "Welcome aboard sir."

"Lieutenant," was his disinterested reply. Normally he would love to be back at sea but not today.

"The captain would like to see you in his quarters, sir."

Harm looked back over his shoulder to nod at Coates.

"He wanted to see you alone, sir." The lieutenant corrected.

"Coates, I'll catch up with you. Make sure I have the coroner's report when I get there." He barked at her and ordered the Lieutenant to have his gear stowed. He would find his own way to the captain's quarters.

Harm was in no mood for – well, no mood period. No mood to deal with the incompetent JAG, or the captain's ego, the SecNav's political agenda or Coates' cheerfulness. He was there to do a job. Not because he was the best man for the job. Not because his soon-to-be-former CO had every confidence in him. Not because anyone thought that Harm was any better or worse than anyone else, but because a job needed to be done and Harm was the only one available – the only one still standing. God he was beginning to hate that about himself.

The call came in from the Admiral at the crack of dawn. It came before Harm had a chance to figure out what he was going to say to Mac or do about their situation. He hadn't decided how much time he was going to give her to cool off, and he didn't know if he was supposed to apologize or expect an apology. There was so much to consider but the orders to the Guadalcanal put all of that on hold. He did call her before he left – but she didn't answer, and the machine wasn't on. That – to him – spoke VOLUMES as to where her head was at that morning. She had meant what she said. He would have to deal with it when he got back. Now there was work to do.

A prisoner – suspected Al Qaeda terrorist – died while in custody aboard the Guadalcanal. Before it got to the media, it needed to be thoroughly investigated by someone at JAG HQ to ensure there was no cover up. The new JAG had not been confirmed as yet, so Chegwidden was still in charge. The admiral chose Harm. Some how Harm felt like it was a final zing from his commanding officer – to give him an impossible task and sit back and watch the pilot-come-lawyer-come-hero try to save the day or at least his career. 'Had to be better than baseball," Harm thought.

Harm was clear, there was no real expectation of a positive outcome. If it turned out that the man was not Al Qaeda and someone on the crew was found negligent or – God forbid - GUILTY, or the USA was found in anyway responsible it would add fuel to the anti-American fire building in the world. If it were ruled natural or self-inflicted causes – the world court of public opinion would cry cover up anyway and the USA would still lose. If it turned out that this man was actually BIN LADEN, one of his Lieutenants, or the Anti-Christ, then his death would have robbed the American people and the rest of the world of their due justice and again the USA would be no better than vigilantes. There was no way Harm – the point man on this (read: fall guy) – had a chance in holy hell of pulling this one out of his butt so that some how his career didn't suffer because when the shit hit the fan, he would be standing right in front of it – and the shit was starting to pile up.

Harm banged on the hatch to the captain's quarters.

"ENTER." He bellowed.

Harm waited at attention until the captain turned around. Captain Jack Wickstrom was the new skipper on the Guadalcanal. Harm did not have a lot of information about this man and at the moment really didn't care. The captain was slightly older and from the looks of it this was his first – probably his last – command. That had to make a man desperate.

"Commander Rabb" the captain stated. He turned to glare at him, but his expression quickly changed to surprise. "What the hell happened to you? You look like you went fifteen rounds with Mike Tyson."

Harm didn't look that bad, but his eye was black, he had stitches on what looked like a pretty nasty cut and there was a bandage on his hand. Harm also looked a little punch drunk. Actually he was exhausted and could barely focus. That last thing he was interested in doing was bonding with this new captain, a man who was fighting for his career, which was now in Harm's hands.

"Reporting as ordered, captain." Harm evaded the question/remark as he had with Chegwidden.

Harm actually felt worse than he looked.

He had gotten home from the emergency room some time in the middle of the night (he had no idea when). He had a splitting headache. The injury over his eye required three stitches and the doctor who stitched him up had all the finesse of a pile driver. Harm could only imagine what kind of scar it would leave. He didn't care. He was tired. Tired of the whole damn thing. Tired of the fight – tired of losing – tired of trying to do the right thing and having his motives called into question or his feelings dismissed. He couldn't be selfless without being accused of being a martyr. He couldn't be selfish without being attacked for being spoiled. He couldn't be confident or cocksure without being accused of being arrogant, rude, or narcissistic. And God forbid he was right – for then he was superior and haughty. Don't even get him started on his unorthodox methods, breaking the rules and not being held accountable. No, Harm had been held accountable. In his own mind, he had paid dearly for every misstep, misunderstanding and misdirection. The pound of flesh exacted for his selfless or selfish nature was more than any judge would award. Now, he had had it. He was just plain tired – dog tired – of the whole stinking mess that was his life at forty.

On his way out to the ship, he tried to put the last twenty-four hours in perspective and to make some decisions about how he wanted to proceed with Mac. Her rage at first blush seemed irrational, but upon deeper reflection he tried to sympathize with what she had been going through for the past year. He was surprised that she was able to hold it together for as long as she did. If he had had to deal with all that, he probably would have done something much worse than pick a fight with a friend and break a few things.

In spite of the actual chain of events, Harm felt that the straw that broke the camel's back must have been Webb's death. It made sense that she would take that out on Harm – the man who never liked Webb with her and was trying to take his place. Sadly for Harm he could not (or did not) see the role he had played in the past year of Mac's life, her relationship with Webb or more specifically the night of the incident. He had done nothing wrong. He showed her the respect and consideration and love that she deserved. Boy, oh boy, our hero could be blind, deaf and dumb when it suited his purpose.

Harm tried – albeit briefly – to entertain the notion that it wasn't about ALL Webb. Maybe the bigger issue was the endometriosis and the possibility that she may not be able to have a baby. He could certainly understand her anger, he was angry too. Frustrated is a better word for it; something was taken away from them before they had a chance to decide. Was it the same for him as it was for her? No, not at all. He could never really know how deeply that affected her or how it would affect any woman. He appreciated that. While he would really love to see her pregnant with his child that was not as big an issue as he thought it would be.

It never occurred to Harm that maybe that news might make Mac feel like less of a woman and that she might need (what had Gates said?) a little validation in that arena. For Harm, that was not in the realm of plausibility. Mac was as desirable in fatigues after a six-day march across the desert covered with dirt and smelling like – well whatever – as she was in an evening gown. Mac was all woman – strong, smart, independent, soft, tender, all rolled up a package that was easy on the eyes and easier on the skin. The desire she drew up in him the other night was too hot to handle. He had to stop it.

But something had to set her off, what? Sledgehammer, anyone? Ton-of-Bricks?

Did he remember any of the specific spew she spat at him? Not really, none of it was new and most of it was easily shot down under cross. No, he was not going to hold her responsible for what she said in the heat of the moment. He just needed to find the trigger and be sure not to trip it again.

As for getting clocked with the picture, well she didn't mean to hit him – it was an accident. Pretty ironic to have his eye nearly taken out by a picture of the two of them in a frame that he had given her a couple of Christmases ago. The actual injury was no worse than he had gotten playing basketball or flying jets. No big deal. She would over react when she saw the stitches and his black eye – damn that doctor – but it was really no big deal. It would heal.

What Harm couldn't get behind or beyond was the kiss. Why did she have to kiss him? Why take it to that level? He was not pushing any agenda; he could be there to support her as a friend until they were ready to move their relationship forward TOGETHER. They weren't in the right place to do that on Friday night. He had to stop it; there was no other choice. It might have appeared to her at the time that he had rejected her again. It might have looked like he was not willing to do what he said he was going to do. But Mac was not acting like herself – aggressing on him, trying to … what? Seduce him? He knew she was in pain over the loss of Webb but Harm would be damned if he was going to be used to that extent to comfort her through the death of another man. He didn't deserve that. He deserved better.

Yeah, he was still angry about the kiss. After the screaming stopped and the blood was clotted, he exited down the hall without much more than an 'I'll call you tomorrow' and a scared dazed look on Mac's face. He knew he could take her rage, take her anger, take her pain because she needed someone to take it. But he could not take her fickleness. He would be damned if he was going to play stand in, second string, back up in her bed. He put his fist through the window on the front door of her building to drive that point home. When he saw the blood on his hand he laughed at himself. What are a few more stitches among friends – old friends?

"Reporting as ordered, captain." Harm stood at rigid attention.

"One man?"

"I have a legalmen with me, sir."

"Doesn't JAG feel that the gravity of this situation warranted two men?" The captain sneered.

"No, sir." Harm did not feel the need to explain to the captain that he had talked the admiral out of sending another investigator out with him due to the sensitive nature of the investigation. There was no need to ruin anyone else's career.

I hate to break this to Harm, but that is not why the admiral sent him alone. The real story is that Admiral Chegwidden did have every confidence in Rabb and knew that if there were something being hidden that Rabb would ferret it out. Harm was his first choice because of his skills and abilities and his Pit bull like tenacity. Furthermore, the admiral had no intention of sending Harm alone, but Mac had not answered her phone. The fact that Harm had shown up looking like he had been in a bar fight the night before led the admiral to believe that Harm and Webb had gotten into it over Mac. There was no denying that Harm and Mac looked pretty tight at the retirement party. AJ would have paid good money to see that battle and from the looks of Harm, he could only imagine that Webb looked worse. The admiral had no idea how wrong and right he was.

Harm's desire to take the assignment on by him self fueled the admiral's belief that something along the fight-for-the-girl happened. He didn't care what was going on between those two; he was sending his best people. Mac would be the second person on the investigation. And he knew that they would act professionally when it got down to it. So there was no need to discuss it with Rabb. As soon as the admiral caught up with Mac, she was on her way. The admiral did not see this as a career ending assignment; he saw it like any other investigation – he was looking for truth and wanted the guilty to be held accountable. There was only one real concern that AJ had, he would - more than likely - not be in charge when the investigation concluded and depending upon the political aspirations of the new JAG and his or her opinion of Rabb and/or MacKenzie, they may indeed be hung out to dry. But that was beyond his control.

Sending Coates was more like a gift to her than an aide to Harm. Sadly for Harm that meant that he had to find someone else to watch over Mattie – in steps Tom Johnson – the long lost father who will take her away from him the first chance he gets. Poor Harm. He loved Mattie like a daughter and he had little or no right to her. He would do whatever was best for her even if that meant losing her to her natural father, but he didn't have to like it. And leaving Tom Johnson staying at his apartment to watch over Mattie was too much to ask – but there was nothing else he could do. Again he was trapped into doing the right thing for everyone else while he lost.

Harm looked back at the captain. Harm was ready for a fight with some one he could beat and if the captain wanted to start it, Harm was damn sure going to finish it.

"I have read your jacket, Commander." The captain continued. "You are known for you unorthodox investigative tactics and your ability to find fault where none exists."

Harm said nothing but remained at attention. He was biding his time.

"I won't stand for that on my ship. My people will not be implicated in something that they had no hand in, and I will not tolerate even one of my people being sacrificed on the political alter. Have I made myself clear?"

"Sir, are you suggesting that --."

"I am not suggesting a damn thing, Commander. I am telling you that you are free to investigate at will, and everything you need will be made available to you – HOWEVER – you will find nothing to indicate that my crew was involved in this … this … this man's death."

Harm felt that the captain was giving him an order. He didn't take that very well.

"I hope that my findings will be the same as your belief, sir." Harm said sarcastically.

The captain turned and glared at him for a long moment. Harm met his eye and stared him down. "DISMISSED."

"Aye, sir." Harm turned and left. Well, the ground rules were set.

Harm had Coates round up and secure every person that had any contact with the prisoner– known only as Iyad. He would interview each one of them and didn't want them to have an opportunity to sync their stories. The first person he interviewed was that last person to deal with the Iyad. That was the doctor that declared him dead – Lieutenant Mark Cumberland.

For more than two hours Harm grilled the poor doctor. Asked him over and over and over again what was the cause of death. The doctor kept going back to his report and saying that the exact cause of death was unknown as was the precise time of death. Iyad's body had been flown to Germany so a formal autopsy could be done. Harm didn't like the answers Cumberland was giving him and could not get Cumberland to make a supposition. He asked who the treating doctor was and when Harm was told that the treating doctor had been rotated out – he began to feel the cover up.

"I want all the medical records for Iyad and for anyone else who was in sick bay with him for the past --- two weeks."

"Sir?" The lieutenant said tentatively. "Iyad was transferred to us only five days ago."

"Transfer? Transferred from where?" Harm demanded realizing he had started at the wrong end.

"I am not sure sir."

"I want the records, Lieutenant." Harm restated. "Dismissed – you are still confined to quarters."

Harm blew through the rest of the interviewees in short order mainly because they all had the same NOTHING to say. Then he locked himself in his stateroom. He was going over reports and medical files. He was bleary eyed. Coates knocked and came in without being given leave.

"Sir." She said for the third time. "Sir – you need to get some rest."

"Later, Coates." He barked when he realized she was standing next to him.

"Sir, you need to eat something and get some rest."

"I have my first report due to Chegwidden in less than six hours, I need to have something to tell him."

"Then what I brought should help." Mac's voice came from the hatch. "Iyad – not his real name - was an Afghani working with the DOD. He was a double agent – but there is no way of knowing where is true loyalties lay."

She stepped though the hatch and placed her brief case down on the table. It was clear that she was in a great deal of pain but was sucking it up in her typical Marine Mac fashion.

"Colonel, ma'am?" Jennifer said.

Harm was on his feet in an instant and motioned for Mac to take the chair. "Jennifer, bring the colonel some water, would you?"

Jennifer left to get the water.

"What the hell are you doing here, Mac?" He demanded with a combination of frustration and concern but there was relief in his voice. He had been worried about her for nearly two days. At least now he could watch over her.

"Reporting as ordered." She said as she eased herself down into the chair. "Looks like you could use my help."

"Damn it Mac. You shouldn't have come." He cleared a space on the rack so that she could lie down which she refused. "I can't believe your doctor allowed you to get on a plane."

"Try four of them, a helo and the drive to Norfolk."

"Damn it Mac." He squatted down next to her and put his hand on her back and rubbed gently.

She saw the cut over his eye and immediately put her hand up to his face. "Oh God, I am so sorry."

He brushed her hand away. "Don't worry about it." He couldn't let her touch him; it brought up too much of what he was fighting against.

She saw the bruise and cut on his hand and squeezed her eyes tight against the reality. She knew she had caused that too. Somewhere inside of her she was hoping it was all a very bad dream. When she opened them again, it was real. "Harm, please forgive me."

"Nothing to forgive – my own stupid fault." He was going to brush the whole matter aside.

"Don't do that Harm." She warned.

"Mac, we can't do this here." He pushed himself away and sat down on the rack.

"We have to." She continued. "This can't wait."

"It will have to."

"Harm – please."

"Mac, you should have recused yourself." He stopped her.

"Why?" She demanded. "Because we had a fight?"

"Because you are sick."

"I am not sick – I have a condition." She corrected.

"A condition that needs medical attention." He countered.

"I have been living with this for months – probably years – just because it now has a name doesn't mean that I can't do my job."

"Damn it Mac." He got up and moved to close the hatch.

"Look I didn't tell you so you could take care of me."

"Why did you tell me?" He looked back at her.

She looked at him for a long moment and felt his old words forming in her mouth, "You know the reason."

"Do I?"

Jennifer banged on the hatch. She was back with the water. "Ma'am, they are having trouble locating quarters for you. They weren't expecting you."

"She will stay here." Harm said clearly. Jennifer looked up at him. "Have them find me other quarters – I don't care if it is with the enlisted."

"Yes, sir." Jennifer nodded and stepped back out.

"Harm you didn't need to do that." She took the offered water.

"You'd rather be hot bunking yourself with the marines down on --."

"Harm, we need to talk."

"Look, Mac. I have said all there is for me to say. I will be there for you – you can count on it. That is all." The words may have been the same but the sentiment was not filled with the same kind of love and concern that he had used the other night. "There is nothing that you have said or done that has changed that." Clearly a lot had changed for Harm.

She looked sad. "Have I really ruined it for us?" She said forcing her voice not to crack.

"Mac, I said --."

"I know what you said and what you didn't say." She turned toward him. "Is that really what you want? After all this time? Everything we have been through? All the mistakes we have made – this last one is going to be the one to finish any chance we had for good and always just when it looked like it was all turning around for us?"

Harm looked away. 'US,' he thought – 'There is no us.'

"You have to let me apologize … to try to explain." She paused briefly. "Don't you think you owe me that much?"

"What I owe you?" His ire was building. "We will not do this now." He ordered.

"Harm, do you love me?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" He turned away. "I said we can't do this now – I am not going to -."

She cut him off again. "Harm, do you love me?"

He turned back to her. "How do you expect me to answer that?"

"The truth - for once - would be nice." She was not about to back down. "And in plain words."

"THE TRUTH?" He threw back at her. "Now you are asking for the truth! You never wanted to hear it before – why now?"

Mac braced herself for the fight she knew they had to have. "Harm, everything we have or hope to have hinges on your answer to that question. If you love me – the way I love you – then most of the issues between us will fade away and the rest of it can be worked out."

He leaned back against the hatch and crossed his arms over his chest. He was braced against the fight and was clearly ready to do anything to stop it. "Well, counselor I think you just nailed the crux of our problem."

"So answer the question." She felt like she was making headway.

"The question is …" Harm started in his best lawyer like demeanor. "Do I love you the way you love me?"

Mac held her breath – her question had been twisted – he out lawyered her. She felt the air being sucked from the room.

"The answer is TRUTHFULLY and in ONE PLAIN WORD … No."


	4. 4

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Four

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

**Old Friends - Chapter Four**

**Ship Ahoy**

Will you always be there? YES

Do you love me the way I love you? NO

YES – NO – NO – YES – Which is it? Aren't those questions the same thing? Do they imply the same thing? Were these two ever going to be reading from the same book much less be on the same page? Yes? No? Maybe? I don't know? Who knows?

Immediately after Harm made his NO declaration, Jennifer came back with quarters for Harm. He was not able to explain himself. He finally admitted he was exhausted and left to get some sleep. Mac knew why he left – Harm doesn't do confrontation with her very well, at least not over stuff like that. Somewhere deep inside her she thought MORE TIME, but outwardly she was defeated.

She dug into the case. She had been working with Bud and was exchanging a ton of e-mails. Bud finally asked her to turn her AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) on. The e-mail was too slow. She did and they chatted about the case (in code) until Bud needed to leave to get the research done. He promised he would be back in a couple of hours.

Chloe was not online. The whole CHAT thing had been her idea. It was a good way to stay in touch. Sadly Mac could have used some of Chloe's youthful insight or just plain inane babble. She checked her other messages and nothing was non-work related. She needed to talk. For the first time in forever, Mac needed to CHAT with someone. Mac pulled out the card that Gates have given her and turned over to the back to review the hand written info. Opening a new window in AIM she took a chance:

From: MarColMac

To: Cerberus607

Gates? It is Mac. Is that you?

Mac waited. Nothing came back. There were at least 150 handles that Gates could have had that were not related to her e-mail address. She could e-mail her and ask. She thought about giving her a call, but there was nowhere private she could talk. Then up on her screen flashed:

**Cerberus607: **Mac? Damn you are good. How did you know?

**MarColMac: ** It was either Cerberus or GatesofHell … took a chance

**Cerberus607: **And the 607?

**MarColMac: ** Do you think I would ever forget June 7th? Please … a day that will live in infamy

**Cerberus607: **Some things never change … of course you should be TeqQueen86

**MarColMac: ** The TQ is dead

**Cerberus607: **Long live MarColMac

**MarColMac: **So what are you doing?

**Cerberus607: **My question exactly. Where are you? Why didn't you just call?

**MarColMac: ** Out of town.

**Cerberus607: **How did it go with THE HAMMER?

**MarColMac: **Not well

**Cerberus607: **Where are you?

**MarColMac: **Classified

**Cerberus607: **BITE ME

**MarColMac: ** Sorry … Classified

**Cerberus607: **You know my clearance is higher than yours

**MarColMac: ** And yet you still don't know where I am

**Cerberus607: **FINE … I don't need to know … just want to know if you are sleeping alone tonight

**MarColMac: ** Oh yeah

**Cerberus607: **How bad was it?

**MarColMac: ** Let's talk about something else

**Cerberus607: **Like what?

**Cerberus607: **Movies?

**Cerberus607: **Books?

**Cerberus607: **My love life … please … something with meat

**MarColMac: ** Did I tell you that Harm was a vegetarian?

**Cerberus607: **DUMP HIM

**MarColMac: ** Seriously … he doesn't eat meat

**Cerberus607: **SERIOUSLY … DUMP HIS ASS

**Cerberus607: **Don't trust a man who doesn't order his steak medium rare

**MarColMac: ** What about SkyWriter … or SkyPilot … or

**Cerberus607: **SKYLAR … he was a VEGAN and I dumped his ass too

**MarColMac: ** What a mouth on you … What are you doing working for THE COMPANY?

**Cerberus607: **Making a living.

**MarColMac: ** Did you pull his file?

**Cerberus607: **Who's?

**MarColMac: **Harm's

**Cerberus607: **NO … I don't do that crap … that is what THEY do … damn spooks

**MarColMac: **Really?

**Cerberus607: **Really - COME ON, Mac

**MarColMac: ** Come on what … I know how curious you are

**Cerberus607: **To learn from the original - not from a file written by someone who was probably never there … Head Shrinker? Hello?

**MarColMac: ** Yeah Yeah

**Cerberus607:** So … what happened … where are you?

**MarColMac: **On assignment … out of the country

**Cerberus607: **GOD LOVE THE INTERNET

**MarColMac: ** it's a small world

**Cerberus607: **Are you with him?

**MarColMac: ** He is here but no one could argue that we are together

**Cerberus607: **Did you TALK … (why am I pulling teeth here? … Jesus … you'd think I was a dentist)

**MarColMac: ** He said he doesn't love me

**Cerberus607: **You are full of it

**MarColMac: ** I am telling you … he said he doesn't love me the way I love him and so THERE YOU GO … we are done

**Cerberus607: **There is more to this story

**MarColMac: **Pages

**Cerberus607: **And you are just going to sit back and let it be over

**MarColMac: **What would you have me do?

**Cerberus607: **Hell I don't know … you are the damn MARINE … take him like a hill or a mountain … whatever you jarheads do

**MarColMac: ** Not quite that easy

**Cerberus607: **If I were there … where exactly? … I would slap some sense into you

**MarColMac: ** Good thing you are not here

**Cerberus607: **OK OK … two questions and then I am going back to chat on … when we were playing Mystery Date … was he your dream date?

**MarColMac: **Better

**MarColMac: **and worse

**Cerberus607: **So what is the issue?

**MarColMac: **Too many to mention

**Cerberus607: **That other guy?

**MarColMac: **No

**Cerberus607: **Are you sure?

**MarColMac: ** YES

**Cerberus607: **Then why were you with him … the other guy?

**Cerberus607: **Are you still there?

**Cerberus607: **It says you are 'entering text' … are you writing a book?

**MarColMac: ** You need to understand. It is not like Harm is a normal guy – we have never been like two normal adults. He has never asked me out on a date … and never said anything overtly to make me think that he wanted anything more than a friendship – well at least he hadn't for a very long time and usually when it was too late. We have a ton of bad history and false starts and pretty pointed endings. Time just slipped away. It was not like I had two to choose from and chose Clay. Harm was out of my life – HIS CHOICE. Clay was there. Harm was not. I had to move on – not going to wait for a ship that has sailed. I don't like to be alone. I know that about myself. I am not proud of it … but I do know it. So I settle for who is right there instead of waiting or making it happen

**Cerberus607: **Love the one you are with, eh?

**MarColMac: ** I have done it more than once --- and look where it has gotten me

**Cerberus607: **Are you doing that again this time?

**MarColMac: ** I am not WITH Harm – He has made that pretty close to impossible since the day we met.

**Cerberus607: **How?

**MarColMac: ** Petty, spiteful, mean, nasty … rude … especially if we disagree – which we do on just about everything

**Cerberus607: **You know the more you tell me about this Harm guy – the more he sounds like a jerk

**MarColMac: ** He is a jerk

**Cerberus607: **And you want him – WHY?

**MarColMac: ** He can also be incredibly tender, loving, generous, loyal to a fault. He is smart and tenacious. He values his career and his work ethic as highly as I do. We may never agree on the answer, but we agree on the method. We both value truth, fairness and the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law. Do you know how hard that is to find in a LAWYER? Much less a man and a friend?

**Cerberus607: **Damn near impossible.

**MarColMac: ** Exactly … Harm is something special. So what if he has the ego of a PILOT. I have never met anyone who has a higher moral character or a sounder soul.

**Cerberus607: **SOUNDER SOUL … is that a new Punk Rock Band?

**MarColMac: ** He is rock solid … with a blind spot where his relationships with women are. But there are reasons for that too.

**Cerberus607: **You are giving him every break in the book, Mac

**MarColMac: ** He suffered in his youth too.

**Cerberus607: **I am sure … his father.

**MarColMac: ** MIA … when he was five – there is a ton more to that story … but another day.

**Cerberus607:** OK.

**MarColMac: ** There is something else … he is … something … pretty to watch

**Cerberus607: **Meaning?

**MarColMac: ** Meaning I like how he moves – all 6'4" … not graceful … but damn sure exciting … and he has a smile that lights up his eyes and puts Tom Cruse to shame

**Cerberus607: **YOU WANT HIM

**MarColMac: ** Is that a question?

**Cerberus607: **A statement … you want to lay him out and ----

**MarColMac: ** GATES!

**Cerberus607: **OH YEAH … You want him … ADMIT IT

**MarColMac: **It is too hard to CHAT about this

**Cerberus607: **ADMIT IT

**MarColMac: ** So?

**Cerberus607: **So he ain't perfect … more like Mr. Rochester than Prince Charming?

**MarColMac: ** More like Mr. Darcy … tall, proud and prejudiced but with the honor of a soldier and soul of a poet.

**Cerberus607: **An officer and a gentleman … Go get him, Sarah.

**MarColMac: ** YEAH YEAH … wishes and horses … enough about me … What are you doing online?

**Cerberus607: **Chatting with you and my son

**MarColMac: ** Your son?

**Cerberus607: **Timothy Leary Schwartz … Timo

**MarColMac: ** You and Lenny Schwartz …?

**Cerberus607: **No … his brother Isaac … Timo is a good kid

**MarColMac: ** How old?

**Cerberus607: **17 … lives with his Dad and stepmother

**MarColMac: ** You OK with that

**Cerberus607: **Yeah … he turned out OK and he and I are getting along just fine … I will tell you this … but

don't ever quote me … his stepmother is a gift from heaven … wanted her to adopt me too

**Cerberus607: **I never had a maternal bone in my body … I am grateful Timo has her

**MarColMac: **I want kids

**Cerberus607: **I am a doctor … do you need me to explain how it works?

**MarColMac: ** I read the book

**Cerberus607: **So … Hammer not sperm donor material – thought you said he had great genes

**MarColMac: **He does

**Cerberus607: **And great JEANS … HA HA

**MarColMac: ** He offered – again the other night … hell we even made a deal five years ago

**Cerberus607: **The old BACK UP PACT?

**MarColMac: ** How did you know?

**Cerberus607: **Most single women have one … some have two or three

**MarColMac: **Well just last week was the end of the deal … five years … if neither of us were in a relationship we would go halves on a kid

**Cerberus607: **You got yourself a real romantic there

**MarColMac: ** I know

**Cerberus607: **Which leads me to ask … is what you're feeling for this Harm guy real or are you just choosing to believe something so the pact won't feel so desperate … like you are such a loser?

**MarColMac: ** Thanks a lot

**Cerberus607: **Be AFRONTED later … think about it and answer the question.

**MarColMac: ** Maybe I looked at those five years as biding time knowing that when the time came … it would be Harm who I got serious with.

**MarColMac: ** Did I never marry so that I could make good on the deal with him?

**Cerberus607: **Chicken? Egg? Egg? Chicken? Are you a lawyer?

**MarColMac: ** Very funny

**Cerberus607: **Look, Lady Jane … I gotta go for the night, but let leave you with one question … DO YOU LOVE the guy?

**MarColMac: **Yes

**Cerberus607: **More than just as the back up?

**MarColMac: ** Tom Cruise was on my laminated list … think I have a chance?

**Cerberus607: **You can kept Tommy Boy … I am more of a Viggo / Aragorn kind of girl

**MarColMac: ** I knew that about you

**Cerberus607: **But seriously … could you see waking up to him everyday for the rest of your life

**MarColMac: **Yeah ---- BUT --- BUT --- BUT --- It won't be easy

**Cerberus607: **No one ever promised you a rose garden, sweet pea

**MarColMac: ** Did I tell you that we met in the rose garden of the White House?

**Cerberus607: **Lean in to the monitor … slaps face … You got it bad girl!

**MarColMac: ** I am normally not like this ... you make me feel like we are 16 again

**Cerberus607: **AH … to be sixteen again and to have another chance to make all those mistakes again … not for all the money in Switzerland

**MarColMac: ** I would love another chance … I would do a whole ton of things differently

**Cerberus607: **Kid, it ain't over until it is over … work it out … just suck it up and work it out

**MarColMac: ** How do you expect me to do that?

**Cerberus607: **TALK TO HIM … or just jump him. If he is a real man, he will come around

**MarColMac: ** This from a shrink … I am going to check your credentials when I get back.

**Cerberus607: **You do that … when you get my bill

**MarColMac: ** Dinner is on me

**Cerberus607: **You bet it is … and I want STEAK … gotta go … how long you going to be 'out of the country'

**MarColMac: ** Couple more days … let's say dinner on Thursday

**Cerberus607: **Let me check my social calendar … Hmmmm … well would you look at that … I am free … what a surprise. See ya honey.

**MarColMac: ** See ya

**Cerberus607: **Hey SARAH JANE …

**MarColMac: ** Yeah

**Cerberus607: **You don't have to go back to sixteen to fix things … take care of what is right in front of you

**MarColMac: ** I haven't given up yet … but I am already checking the exit routes

**Cerberus607: **You won't need them … I love you, babe

**MarColMac: ** I love you too

**Cerberus607: **Call me … if you need to talk

**MarColMac: ** Thanks … go to bed

**Cerberus607: **Night … bye

**MarColMac: ** Bye

Mac 'hung up' with Gates, she did a little more work and then lay down. She heard a light rap on the hatch. She pulled herself out of the rack and opened it.

Harm stood a little sheepishly in front of her. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"I am up." She stepped back into the cabin to let him in.

"I just came to get the files. Thought I would put together something for the Admiral."

She yawned and sat down as he gathered the files together. "Do you want to know what I found out?" She asked.

It hadn't occurred to him that she had been working. He still thought of her as sick and needing a lot of rest. "Got this from Bud about an hour ago – he got the coroner's report. It seems that Iyad is actually one John-Boy Johnson of Louisville Kentucky."

"He is an American?"

"Born, bred and buttered."

Harm looked confused.

"He is CIA -- NOT DOD."

"How did you get that?" Harm sat down next to her on the rack.

"Johnson was transferred here from the Thomas Lyons six days ago suffering from a gun shot wound to the abdomen and hypothermia. He died as a result."

Harm was stunned. "He was with Webb?"

"Not that I have the information – but it appears that way." She looked down.

"So the wall of silence we have been getting from the crew is CIA backed."

She nodded.

"What the hell do they want from us?" He stood and tossed the files back down on the desk.

"Harm?"

"They send us out here to investigate, don't give us all the information, and when we find out what they don't want us to know - we are told to sweep it under the rug. This is ridiculous – it is like we are pawns in some stupid game."

"Or worse – actors to be scripted." She added.

"I am sick of this." He slammed his open palm on the bulkhead.

"I know. But what are we supposed to do?" Her voice was getting softer.

"How did you get this information?" He asked. "A friend left inside?" The snide was thick in that question.

She looked hurt. "Bud and his magic computer."

"I'm sorry." He sat back down next to her. "You did some excellent work. You accomplished more in a few hours than I did in a day."

"Thank you." She stretched a little.

He dropped into his friend mode. "You were sleeping weren't you?"

"Sort of … I had my eyes closed." She said shyly.

"How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?" He put his hand on her lower back and rubbed gently.

"You have done enough." She smiled softly. "Where are you staying?"

"I am bunking in with some pretty wild guys who think that showering is not an option."

"You can sleep here Harm." She said. "I mean for God's sake … we have slept together before … take the top bunk."

He was glad she offered. "You need your rest."

"I need us to finish our conversation more." She said gently.

"Mac." Harm looked away.

"Can we please talk about this … calmly?" She asked. "Like adults … like the old friends we are?"

He looked at her quickly. He heaved a heavy sigh and got up. "You see that is the problem and that is why …" He struggled to find the right words. "I'll get past it I know I will … but I will need a little time."

"Get past what?" She asked. "What are you thinking?"

"Friends … you and I are OLD FRIENDS." He started.

"We are." She confirmed earnestly. She wanted to add that they were more than friends.

He shook his head. "Don't want to be THE OLD FRIEND, Mac." There was no getting around this and if truth were told he was tired of trying to get around it. "You asked me if I love you … you know the answer to that … of course I do."

Mac's heart melted. "You never told me."

"Yeah … well … I do … and there are reasons why I never told you." He defended.

"I know."

"And there are reasons you never told me." He further defended.

"There are." She looked at him. "But those reasons don't matter any more."

Harm snickered. 'Of course they don't matter. Webb is dead.' He chose not to say that out loud.

"Harm?"

"You said that if I loved you the way you loved me … then all of our issues would fade away."

"Not all but most." She corrected.

"But I don't … you don't."

"Don't what?"

"Mac – come on –." He hesitated before he leapt in. "I am your fall back guy. The safe date. The back up plan. The one that will always be there to pick up the pieces. The one you look to when everyone else is gone. Like an old pair of jeans – worn in and comfortable – the old ratty pair you wear when you are doing laundry and wouldn't be caught dead with in public."

Mac's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. She couldn't help the smile that came across her face. "WHAT?" She laughed.

"You heard me." His eyes betrayed how annoyed he really was.

"I don't know what to say to that."

"Nothing to say … that is who I am to you … so be it."

She got a little annoyed, but kept it tempered. "When will you ever learn to check your facts, counselor?"

"The facts speak for themselves, counselor."

"Harm … you are not a pair of old jeans – comfortable or ratty."

"Oh Really."

"If anything … you are the favorite pair of designer jeans that I – and all women - keep in the back of the closet for when we lose five pounds and have a HOT DATE."

"Huh?"

"Oh yeah … the ones that make our ass look great and turn all kinds of heads … the kind of jeans that make men glad they are men and women proud to be … well NOT MEN."

"You lost me." Harm was unaware.

" … but they are always just a little too tight and not practical for every day wear."

Harm looked confused. "Can we lose this metaphor – you are sounding like Mattie." He stated.

"You started it." She smiled.

"The facts are you have kept me at arm's length since … well hell since Brumby left … then just when I thought we were getting past the friendship to something else … you choose Webb."

"You left." She accused.

"I was forced out." He corrected.

"You were forced out of JAG. And for that I am sorry." She took a breath. "You left me!"

"Left you? You said there would never be anything between us. Never be an US."

"At this rate … there never will be."

"What did you expect me to do … stick around and watch you and Webb … hope for the worse and take the pittance you wanted to give me?"

"Harm … stop about Webb." She got up and moved to the other side of the room. "Webb and I went through something that was pretty intense."

"You think I don't know that? … I saved your sixes." He found his HERO RABB voice. "If it weren't for me --."

"HARM. I know. I know." She shut her eyes trying to hold back her anger. "Have I not said thank you for that?"

"No."

"Thank you." She threw at him.

"I don't want your gratitude."

"AHHHHHHHHHH … YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE."

"HEY." He tried to quiet her down.

"Look … Webb and I needed each other after Paraguay… he needed me… you must be able to appreciate that." She looked at him waiting for an answer but none came. "The honest to God truth is we didn't really get together until a couple of months ago and even then we barely saw each other. We had done some talking about a relationship, but not much else and nothing about the future."

Harm didn't say anything.

"That was my call." She declared. "I kept him a arms length too."

"Why?" He was sullen and withdrawn.

She heaved a heavy sigh and looked him in the eyes. "Because he was not who I wanted."

A realization washed with acceptance came over Rabb's face. The wind was taken completely out of his sales. They each wanted the other as more than just friends, but had gotten in their own way. "Then why?" He slumped down into the chair. "Why have we gone through all this?"

She crossed over to him and squatted down next to him. "Because we are our own worst enemy." She explained.

"Not good enough." He turned to her and took her hands in his.

"Because I love you when you are like this – real and honest, gentle and kind, but when you get petty and jealous and down right mean … I don't want to know you." She looked down. "I look away. I pull away."

He tilted her head back up toward his. "I don't get petty and jealous and down right mean until you pull away."

The each took a moment to think about the reality of their history: the pushing, the pulling, the dancing. They were each to blame for letting it go on so long.

"Can we both just stop … just agree to stop?" She asked. "Here and now … can we agree to stop hurting each other and pushing or pulling away?" There were tears in her voice.

"Yes." He was sincere … clear and sincere and nothing was held back.

Mac relaxed a little but the pain in her back was building. She needed to sit down …but lying down would have been better. She put her hand to her back.

Harm helped her stand and got her to the rack. He squatted down in front of her. "What can I do?"

"Tell me you love me?" She asked.

"I love you." He brushed some hair off her face. "Everything is going to be OK. Trust me."

"I do." She smiled at him weakly. "I love you, Harm. I am sorry for everything."

"Don't be sorry for everything … just some things." He flashed her a smile. "Lie down and try to get some sleep."

"Stay with me."

"Ok." He started to stand up.

"No." She moved in on the rack so that he could lie down next to her.

"Mac …" He smiled. "Serious breach in protocol … they could kick our asses out."

"I am willing to risk it."

"I won't let you?' He countered.

"Harm?" She needed him and only him to hold her.

He shook his head and climbed in behind her – ON TOP of the blankets, fully dressed and spooned up behind her.

They were quiet for a moment, enjoying the closeness and thinking about the mistakes they each had made.

"Sarah, about the other night…" He asked after a moment.

"When I kissed you and nearly blinded you in one eye?"

"Yeah … why did you?"

"I didn't mean to … you got in the way of a perfectly good pitch." She tried to answer light heartedly.

"My mouth got in the way of yours?" He asked.

"OH." She tensed a little. "I am sorry about that … well sort of sorry. I shouldn't have."

"Why did you?"

"Because everything was so perfect. I was in the arms of the man I loved and he was there for me in ways that I never knew possible. It was the first time in my life that I actually felt like everything was going to be fine." She turned toward him a little. "Then I pushed it and ruined it. I'm sorry."

"You weren't just looking for comfort over the loss of --."

"No … not really … no." She paused. "Why did you pull away?"

"It felt wrong. I mean it was nice … it was great … but it felt wrong."

"I thought we were replaying the scene from Sydney all over again."

"You certainly do have a temper on you." He squeezed her. "And one hell of a curve ball."

"I am sorry."

"We need to start learning to read each other better." He said softly.

"Agreed."

"What say we start again …" He pulled her tightly against his chest and whispered in her ear. "Hello, I am Harmon Rabb Jr. It is a pleasure to meet you." He kissed her cheek.

"Sarah MacKenzie … but my friends call me Mac. It is nice to be met." She snuggled back into him.

They talked softly for a long time about this and that and stuff they knew and didn't know about the other. Each listened with a new open ear until they were too tired to go on and then they fell asleep in each others' arms waking only long enough to ensure that the other one was still there.

Hours later Mac's laptop rang that she had an incoming message.

Close on the screen of the new message.

To: Sarah.MacKenzieusn.mil.gov

From: The reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.

Sarah ---

Don't believe what you read in the funny papers.

I'll be in touch when I can.

This was not my call.

I love you. Webb


	5. 5

**Title: Old Friends  
Chapter Five  
By: LizD  
Written: June/July 2004****  
Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.

* * *

******

**Old Friends - Chapter Five**  
**First Hurdle - Cleared**

Mac stayed in the rack for a long while after Harm had left. The night had been very … therapeutic. The talking was good. The talking was very good. They were both easy and open with each other in the dark of the cabin, and both recognized and owned the parts they had played in the bad times and the good times of the last eight years (well, some of them). They laughed. They laughed a lot. That was new for them. They also reminisced about times gone by and the major part the other played. As was stated, it was therapeutic particularly after the bad year they had. Neither was ready to say that everything was fine, and there were still some residual hurt feelings that would come out as time went on, but they did have a good idea that things would be different – dare we say easier – for them.

Amazingly, as attracted as Mac was to Harm, as he was to her, that night was not about sex. There were reasons for that. First and foremost they were not at a location that was conducive to exploring that new frontier. In fact, Harm was a little more ALERT to sounds and the time. He was not about to let them be discovered. He was ready to jump up to pretend to be working a moment's notice. Second of course was the new closeness. They were each a little tentative with each other and themselves. It would have been very easy to fall back into old patterns, but neither wanted that. They needed time to understand the new rules. Third Harm - more so than Mac - wanted the first time to be a more meaningful experience: no uniforms, no duties to attend to, a good dinner, a walk on the beach, a nice sunset, a full moon, gentle conversation. Harm was really a romantic at heart and after all that time, there was no reason to rush it. Mac actually liked the idea that she would be wooed; she had designs on doing a little wooing herself. The last reason of course was Mac's health. She really wasn't 'feeling it' - as they say. So again, the night had no sexual aspect. Of course they were in each other's arms and close enough to feel the other's heart beating, but the topic wasn't openly discussed. When the subject of where they were, what they would do when they got back and the doctor's appointment on Wednesday the BIG IT was an underlying factor. For once they were both close to the same page.

One thing was resolved. With the new information that Mac had gotten on the victim, they decided that there was no reason for them to continue the investigation. Harm would report to the admiral that the man had died as a result of some action prior to arriving on the Guadalcanal, prior to being taken into custody, and that no member of the crew was culpable. Case closed. With any luck they could be heading home in the morning. With that in mind, Mac pulled herself out of bed and set about packing up to go home. Before she did that, she was going to send a quick e-mail to Gates. Mac smiled at herself – she was acting like such a GIRL – and she liked it.

Screen Saver Off --- Mac's heart froze as she read.

To: Sarah.MacKenzieusn.mil.gov

From: The reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.

Sarah ---

Don't believe what you read in the funny papers.

I'll be in touch when I can. This was not my call.

I love you. Webb

She must have read the words ten times over. They didn't make sense.

Webb was alive? Webb was alive! Oh, my God. That is great. Isn't it? Where was he? Was he hurt? Did he need her help? Was he in danger? Of course he was in danger, that's what Webb was all about – danger. But he is ALIVE. Thank God, he's alive.

Mac burst out a laugh and tear of joy. Webb was alive. Then she started thinking – actually her mind started racing.

Could Webb really be alive? How is that possible? The company had closed his office. Fired his secretary. If he was alive … why did they tell her he was dead? Why was she debriefed for ten hours? Why was her apartment 'cleaned' and her cell phone 'purged'? Had Clay disappeared – gone rogue? Were they expecting him to make contact with her to catch him? To kill him? Or was this just some elaborate company plot for some covert reason? Had he gone so deep undercover that the ruse of his death was necessary? National Security? Or just normal life and death? Was she caught in something that she had no control over? Was she in any danger?

"NO!"

She slammed the monitor shut and pushed herself back from the desk.

"No… No… No… I won't do this. - - - I am not playing this game."

She got up and started pacing.

"This is not happening. … This can't be happening. … DAMN IT! … Damn it to hell."

She stopped herself. Shook herself hard. She made a decision.

"No … you know … NO …"

She pulled her sea bag out and started stuffing stuff into it.

"You know … So what … Doesn't matter … it just doesn't even matter … I am done … D – O – N – E … done. Stick a fork in me … I AM DONE … Finished. … I did not sign up for this … I didn't ask for this … I don't need this … There is no way I am getting drawn back in … No … No … No … That is it … That is final … NO WAY IN HELL."

"No way in hell what, ma'am?" Jennifer Coates was standing in the hatchway. She had knocked and heard Mac inside ranting, so she entered.

"Petty Officer!" She snapped. "What are you doing here?" She looked back at the laptop to be sure it was closed. She felt like she was caught.

"The commander needs you in the JAG office, ma'am." She said tentatively. "He has new orders from the admiral."

Mac's face flipped from angry to panicked. "Oh God Harm." What was Harm going to say about this new DEVELOPMENT? Where did that leave them? Could they really have come so far just to have the rug ripped out from under them? "Damn it." She said again.

"Ma'am, what should I tell the commander?" Jennifer asked tentatively.

"That is the sixty-four thousand dollar question, Jennifer."

"Ma'am?" Jennifer was confused.

"I will be there as soon as I am dressed." She dismissed her.

What would she tell Harm? Did she have to tell him anything? No – she could keep it to herself. Let Clay show up or not – he was probably dead already anyway and if he wasn't he would be soon – or would be eventually. If he were alive and hiding out from … whoever when could he possibly make it back to her? When would he walk back into her life: a day, a month, a year, ten years? And how long would he stay? He couldn't possibly expect her to wait for him. No, if he came back he would find out that she had moved on – more than moved on, had finally gotten everything she wanted (don't jump the gun there Mac). She was not about to put her life on hold because Clayton Webb was playing some damn spy game. No Siree Bob. So it was resolved. She would just ignore the whole thing.

Nice fantasy, colonel, want to try for reality.

She had to tell Harm. What his reaction would be was the real question. He was still – well probably still very jealous of Webb. Hell Harm was probably still jealous of Brumby and Dalton – and Dalton has been dead for years. Even after their conversation last night, it would be hard for him to accept that Webb being alive would have no affect on them. It was going to be hard for her to accept. On the other hand, if he was alive, she could end it with him – as she should have – and then she and Harm could move forward without the cloud of 'they only got together because her boyfriend died' hanging over them. GET REAL MacKENZIE! Harm was going to flip.

"I have to tell him." She sighed and looked worried. "I just don't know how."

She dressed quickly and left.

* * *

"Where is the colonel?" Harm said to Jennifer when she got back.

"She is on her way, sir." Jennifer looked at him funny.

"Coates?" He prodded.

"Is there something going on with her, sir?"

Harm looked a little guilty. He had successfully evaded all of Jennifer's prying questions about why he was in such a good mood by saying that he had talked to Mattie and she said she missed him and asked him to hurry home (which she had). Harm did love that kid.

"Why is she in a good mood this morning too?" He asked thinking it was rhetorical.

"No sir. She looked like she would take my head off."

Harm turned to her quickly, that was not how Harm left her.

"Commander." Mac's voice cut through the room both Harm and Jennifer flipped around to see her.

"Colonel. Sleep well?" He said with a tinge of a smile but studying her to see if he could determine what mood she was in.

"Very well." The words were right but the sentiment was not quite what he hoped for and there was no smile. She glanced over at Jennifer.

Harm got the drift. "Coates, can we have the room?" he asked gently.

"Yes sir."

"Go pack, we are heading home in ninety minutes." He nodded at Mac. Home sounded really good to him, but the look on her face made him think that it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Yes sir."

Mac closed the hatch after Jennifer had left. If she had a different expression on her face he would have made some kind of suggestive joke about being alone together behind closed doors. Damn, he was so looking forward to being easy and light with her. He was happy all morning just thinking about working with her, being with her and talking to her about all kinds of things. Taking care of business. Enjoying each other's company. Planning a future. But clearly something had happened. Something would always happen.

"What's going on?" He asked when she sat down in the chair across from him.

She took a moment before reaching over to take his hand. "Good morning." She found a smile.

"A very good morning." He smiled back, but he was still wary.

"Thank you for last night." She squeezed his hand. "I had a really nice time."

"It wasn't a date, Mac."

"It was better than a date." She said quickly.

"I am glad we got a few things cleared up." He cupped her face; looked deeply into her troubled eyes and let his fingers pull a few strands of hair loose. He so very much wanted to kiss her but he held back.

"You want to kiss me right now, don't you?" She played with him.

"Very much." His thumb lightly brushed over her lips.

She placed her hand on his, pursed her lips trying to savor his touch.

"How are you feeling?" He was referring to the constant dull ache of pain she was living with.

"I'm Ok." She said. She sighed sadly and looked down, and took his hand away from her face. "I don't know how to tell you this."

He tensed a little. "Tell me." He was forcing himself to be open and available for her to speak with and not to jump to any conclusions. It was one of the things that they agreed to do the night before. To wait until all the facts were in, listen, ask questions and then react. This was going to be the hardest thing he agreed to.

She looked back up at him. "I got an e-mail from Webb."

"Wow." He tried to laugh. "That must be one hell of a DSL line."

"Harm." She scolded him. "Webb is alive."

He took a deep breath and tried to rationalize it away. "Maybe it was just stuck in the queue and you just got to your mail box today."

"I don't think so." She shook her head knowing that that was not possible.

"What did it say?"

"It said the reports of his death were greatly exaggerated." She almost laughed at the absurdity.

Harm did laugh. "Webb quoting Mark Twain – that's rich."

Mac looked down.

Harm pressed her hand. "What else did it say?"

"It said that it wasn't his idea and that he would be in touch when he could."

"That's it?"

"Yeah." She left the 'l love you' out. No need to share that.

"Are you sure it is from him?"

She was at a loss and shrugged. It never occurred to her that maybe it really wasn't from Clay. "Who else would do that?"

"Someone trying to get to you? Someone who thinks you have information that you would give to him?" He was struggling to come up with a reasonable answer. "I don't know – I don't know what Webb was into."

"Neither do I?" She stated emphatically, standing up and walking away. She was getting mad again.

"Are you OK?" He asked.

"No … Yes … I mean … I don't … I am worried about what it means." She looked back at him.

"Means how?" He was keeping his promise. He was not making assumptions and he was asking questions. It was killing him, but he was doing it.

"HARM, for God's sake!!" She thought he was just being dense.

"Stand down, marine." He stood to be on equal ground with her.

"I'm trying." She said looking away. "I just don't know how I am suppose to feel about this. What I am supposed to do." She looked back at Harm. "What this means for you and me."

"It doesn't have to mean anything to us – does it?" He said weakly.

"Harm." She pleaded with him. She needed him to be strong, resolved and sure of them – more sure than she was. It was too much to ask. "Of course it means SOMETHING!" She shouted.

"We are just talking right now." He snapped mainly to get her to calm down. "OK?"

She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Ok … how are you feeling? – Scratch that." He paused. "What are you thinking?"

"I don't know." She threw up her hands. "I am too angry right now to really think straight."

"Angry at Webb?" He ventured.

"Yes." She declared quickly but then relented. "I'm glad he is not dead – but I am ANGRY that he … that we … that this kind of deception is necessary. I don't live like this. I don't want to live like this. It's not fair – not to me."

"No, it's not." He was thinking it wasn't fair to him either. "He must be in trouble." Harm stated the obvious.

"More than likely." She agreed. "He probably needs to have his butt bailed out again too."

"Did he ask for that?" Harm was terrified of the answer because if Webb asked or if she had any real information that said he was in trouble, she would of course help - which meant that he would help – which meant that he again could be put in the position to save Webb's life so that Mac could go back to him. "Did he ask for your help?"

"No. At least he hasn't yet." She was wringing her hands together. "I don't … you know Harm … I'm not going to wait for him." She stated emphatically.

"Mac." He didn't believe she meant that.

"I am serious – I meant everything I said to you last night." She was still a little fire eyed. "Webb's death – his fake death – this SECOND fake death may have cleared some of the debris from the road for us, but the road was already there with or without Webb."

"This is not about you and me." He snapped again trying to convince himself of that. "At least it doesn't have to be."

"It isn't." She took a moment and then asked weakly. "What am I supposed to do?"

He ran his hands through his hair. "Did you reply to the email?"

"No." She shook her head implying that she of course would not have done that with out talking to him first.

"Ok." He nodded.

"Should I?" She was puzzled.

"I think you need to." He offered gently.

"What am I supposed to say?" She was at a total loss.

"I don't know." He stepped back – he really didn't want to be the one to write the letters between them – in fact he didn't even want to know there were letters between them. "That is a tough call."

They were silent for a long moment.

"What are you thinking about all of this?" She asked.

"Well." He took his seat and studied her for a moment. "I never wanted Webb dead. Didn't like the man much – particularly after … well you know. I had nothing nice to say about him for a long time before that, but I didn't want him dead." He smiled up at her. "Which isn't to say that I didn't plan his death a hundred different ways."

"Harm." She scolded the jealous side of him.

"A man has to have his fantasies." He grinned. "So I am glad he is alive." He got serious. "He must be in some big trouble and that debriefing you went through was probably proof enough of that."

She nodded.

"But I really don't think we can do anything to help him until he asks for our help."

"OUR help?"

"Mac I won't let you go it alone." If he knew nothing else he knew that – regardless of the out come. "This has nothing to do with what happened last night between us. Webb is into something bad, and I won't see you hurt, not again, not if I can do anything to stop it."

"You would really do that?" She was touched that he would help her particularly with Webb.

"You have to ask?"

"No." She sat down next to him. "Thank you."

He nodded. "We could try to investigate – pretend like we are investigating his death – or Iyad what's-his-name Billy Bob Johnson's death."

"John Boy." She corrected.

"Right … but if we did it could be bringing unwanted attention on Webb. Putting him in greater danger."

"Very true." She shook her head slowly. "But to do absolutely nothing feels like we are waiting for a time bomb to go off."

"We still need to be sure that the e-mail actually came from him."

"Agreed."

Harm took a deep breath. He had to ask this next question. He thought he knew the answer, but he had to ask. "The fact that he is alive does have some bearing on us."

Mac knew that believing it didn't was too good to be true.

He continued. "Do you want to …?"

"No." She said a little too quickly. "I mean - no there is nothing …"

"I would understand if you felt that you needed to … you know … I don't know … finish … or whatever. You did care for him … do care for him." He swallowed hard. "You told me you loved him."

"I told you I loved you too."

He took her hand. "I know. But think about it Mac – for just a moment."

She nodded and let her eyes drop to the floor. "You would understand?" She asked tentatively thinking that he was offering to put their relationship on hold – AGAIN – in order for her to finish with Webb.

Harm felt a pain in his chest that he couldn't describe. He had to be honest. "If you said that you needed to try to work it out with him or somehow finish with him before you and I could …" He lost the words and sighed. "… I would try to understand. I wouldn't like it, but I would try to understand." He wouldn't tell her that it would finish them forever if she did. He wouldn't tell her that their friendship would forever be ruined if she went back to Webb even if it was just to find some closure.

She nodded slowly. Harm was a good and decent man even if he was lying for a good cause. He would understand and he would continue to help her, continue to help Webb. He might even lose that snide edge, but he would never trust her again. She knew that. She knew that even if he didn't. She took his hand and looked into his eyes. "I will tell you this again – and as often as you need to be reminded of it – what Webb and I had was not enough. I was coming to terms with that and would have ended it if he hadn't died. Just because he is alive – doesn't change that. It fact it reinforces for me how much I didn't want to be a part of that life."

He nodded. She sounded sincere enough.

"Harm …" She lost her voice. "What you and I have … what you and I have been building for years … everything we talked about last night … that is everything I could have hoped for in life – more than I hoped for." Tears fell from her eyes without her permission. "I can't lose you again … I screwed it up once before because of Webb and I won't do it again … not after we have come so far … please believe me." She cried.

He pulled her close. "I need you, Sarah." He whispered into her ear. The truth of that statement surprised him.

"I love you." She shut her eyes tightly fighting back the urge to breakdown in tears. "Don't let go … not now."

He held her more tightly.

"Please trust me." She said weakly.

His heart broke. He didn't know if he could, but he knew he wanted to trust her.

* * *

To: SpydersWebbatyahoocom 

From: SarahMacKenzieatusnmilgov

Subject: RE: The reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.

Clay – Stay safe. Sarah


	6. 6

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Six

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

**Old Friends - Chapter Six**

**Clearing Hurdles**

**0936 LOCAL – Tuesday**

JAG Headquarters 

**Falls Church, VA**

Harm walked into the bullpen in time to see Mac unlocking her office. She was late.

"Hey." He said softly from her open door as she set about getting her desk ready for the day.

She looked at him with a half smile. "Hey yourself."

"Where were you this morning?" It was an easy question to which he expected an easy answer.

"This morning?" She repeated.

Maybe not so easy.

"Yeah." He came closer to her so he could keep his voice down but stayed a safe distance as not to give any onlookers ideas. "Came by to take you to breakfast."

"Oh?" She was trying not to engage in the conversation and wiped at the dark circles under her eyes.

"I called first." He added implying that he was not taking liberties with their new … understanding.

"I wasn't home." She said softly.

"And your cell phone wasn't on." He added.

She shrugged in agreement.

"Something wrong?" He asked worried that the games were about to begin again.

"No. Nothing. I just forgot to turn it back on after we got back last night." She pulled it from her briefcase to show that it still was not turned on. She laid it down on the desk – still without turning it on.

"So … this morning?" He picked up a paperweight and turned it over in his hands. "Did you have an early appointment?"

She heaved a heavy sigh. There was no way out of this interrogation until she came clean, unless she wanted to pick a fight to put him off which she did not want to do. "I wasn't at my apartment this morning."

He waited.

"I didn't stay at there last night." She continued.

"I see." He looked worried and was working up into a real annoyance. He replaced the paperweight.

"I stayed at a hotel." She said quickly to stop him from thinking something worse.

"A hotel?" He puzzled. "Something wrong with your apartment?"

"No, I just didn't want to be there." It was the only explanation that she was prepared to give.

He stretched his long arm over and closed the door softly and took a seat.

"Harm, please don't do this." She asked with a little too much whine in her voice.

"Talk to me."

"Nothing to say." She said evenly. "I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to be there, so I checked myself into the Latham."

"The LATHAM! Wow … too rich for my blood." He smiled at her but clearly expecting her to explain.

"Mine too …but I needed a little treat."

"I guess so." He got a little more serious. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't want to bother you." She explained. "It was late."

He thought for a moment about how best to attack the new development. "Mac, I know my place is not the Latham but is has a bed and hot and cold running water. I hear that the food is getting better and the rates are very reasonable." He flashed her his grin.

"Ah but Rabb Inn does not have a bathtub." She said flippantly. "Needed a long hot bath last night."

He waited for the real answer.

"I didn't want to bother you." She repeated hoping it was enough.

"Fine." It wasn't but he was going to let it slide this time. He got up to leave. "But you can bother me anytime and I don't think I would consider it a bother."

"I know … and I appreciate that."

He nodded and was about to leave. He had a thought, which gave him pause. "Mac? Is this about Webb?"

Mac slumped into the chair. She had been caught. "I don't want to talk about this here or now, OK?"

"Mac."

"Seriously Harm … not here … not now." She warned.

He nodded. It hadn't really occurred to him that Webb could show up out of the blue at any time or any place or what impact that would have on her or how unsettling that might be. Now that he thought about it he could easily understand why she might be a little tentative about being at home alone.

"Have dinner with us tonight." He changed the subject but hoping to address her issue. "Mattie is cooking, but don't worry she is not as bad as you might think and if you want I will take you for a late lunch so you won't need to eat much."

She smiled gently at him. "I would like that."

"Which? Dinner, lunch or both?"

"I can have both?" She asked sweetly shy.

"You can."

"Then both." She was grateful that he was letting her off the hook so easily.

"Good." He opened the door. "Staff in fifteen. Careful the admiral is in a rare mood today. He won't take your head off, but he will quiz you on some obscure piece of baseball history. Jennifer is putting together a cheat sheet for all of us."

She laughed. "When is his replacement getting here?"

"Don't know – but it better be quick." He nodded to her and left.

Mac slumped back down in the chair. The little icon on the task bar told her she had new messages in her inbox. She ignored it and picked up the phone, dialed and waited impatiently as it rang. "Gates, it's Mac. I'm back. How about dinner tomorrow night? Are you free? Call me at the office."

She hung up and turned back to the case files, pushed her cell phone aside and ignored her e-mail.

**2135 LOCAL – Wednesday**

The Latham Hotel – MacKenzie Room 

Mac let herself in and left the door open for Harm.

Harm walked in behind her. "Wow … very nice." He looked around the room at the amenities. "Very nice indeed."

"Yeah." She agreed.

They had had a very nice day. They were assigned a case together: she was first with Harm assisting. The teamwork was never better: challenging without being confrontational. They had a great lunch and made very easy, meaningful, but not deep conversation. Dinner with Mattie and Jennifer was a modern family moment with lots of laughing. The whole day felt very safe and very normal.

Harm had insisted on taking her back to the hotel. Mac knew that he wanted to talk to her particularly about what she had refused to talk about earlier. While she didn't want to have to explain herself, she also didn't want it to be an issue for them.

He looked into the bathroom and whistled. "Is that a marble tub? And heated towel rack?" He stepped back out of the bathroom with the hotel bathrobe in his hand. "You have got to steal me one of these."

She laughed. "It yours for the low, low price of $185"

"What!" He tossed it back on to the vanity. "Forget it."

Mac kicked off her shoes and slumped down onto the couch.

Harm tossed himself onto the bed. "This mattress is better than mine."

Mac waited. She knew it was coming.

He rolled over so he could see her and propped his head up on his arm. "So, MacKenzie … talk to me."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me why you are staying at The Latham."

"The Ritz was booked." She explained.

"Mac."

"Harm … really it is nothing. I just need sometime to … I don't know … I just need some time to … decompress."

"Decompress?" He was confused.

"To feel like myself again … to get my bearings."

"The services here must be better than I thought." He said snidely.

"Harm so much has happened in just the last ten days. I just need a little time to sort through it all."

"And you need to do that at a hotel?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." She shook her head. "I don't want this to be a fight between us."

"It isn't." He took a deep breath and asked the pointed question. "Mac, are you worried that Webb will show up?"

"No … Yes … I mean no. I would not say that I am WORRIED."

"How would you describe it?" He asked as gently as he could but the tension was rising in his voice.

"I don't know … I guess I wonder what I will say to him and how I will explain things to him."

Harm got up and came over to sit near her. "Explain what exactly?"

"Harm … please."

"Please what?" He ran his hand through his hair. "I thought things were going to be different for us, Mac. I thought we got over some big hurdle the past couple of days and things would be different."

"They are." She tried to take his hand but he slowly pulled it away.

"What I see is you – still – keeping me at arm's length." He stated.

"That is not what I am doing."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Then why a hotel Mac? Why are you so uncomfortable in your own home? And why don't you let me help you?"

"You are helping me. I don't know what I would do if it weren't for you." She did take his hand this time. "Today was absolutely perfect. I enjoyed being with you, working with you – being part of your family."

"You are my family, Mac."

She smiled softly. "Harm please – this is not about you and me … or Webb. I'll know what to say when and if the time arrives."

He tried to accept that.

"This … staying here … this is about me. This is about me feeling comfortable in my own skin again."

"I need more than that, Mac."

"Harm for the past ten days every time I turn around there is some new life altering …" She searched for the right word. "… THING that I have to deal with."

"Not alone."

"No, not alone." She squeezed his hand. "I know I am not alone. And I can't tell you how much I love you for the support and … love you are giving me." She waited hoping he would respond.

He didn't.

"Harm, I am a little shell shocked. It has been a very difficult year. More than a year. It started with you being arrested for Singers' murder and it doesn't feel like it is over yet."

"I know." He placed his other hand on hers remembering Paraguay and Sadik and his bitterness toward her.

"And these past ten days have been a whirlwind." She continued. "More like a tornado. I don't dare ask 'what's next?'"

"You have been through so much."

"We both have. And we – you and me – US is the only good thing to come out of last year. I have hope - finally."

He nodded and pressed her hand.

"I will be OK, but I just need a few days to deal with all that is going on and brace myself for what's next."

"But I can't help." He moaned.

"You are helping. Even right now … when I really don't want to talk about this or discuss this … talking about it helps. It helps to know how much you care." She paused until she saw acknowledgement in his eyes. "All I need is a little time to gain a little perspective. Just a couple of days."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

She smiled broadly at him. "Well … you can continue to do what you are doing … although…"

"Although?"

"Well, you haven't kissed me."

He smiled back at her. "You know … I don't always have to be the one to initiate."

"Didn't think you liked forward women."

He put his hand to her face and combed her hair back with his fingers. "Only one."

"Last time didn't go so well." She said sheepishly glancing at the healing wound over his eye.

"Everything is different now." He answered truthfully.

"Yes it is." She confirmed. She leaned in slowly never taking her eyes from his and let her lips lightly brush his. She smiled. Closing her eyes and tilting her head, she let this kiss deepen.

This time Harm did not stop it. This time he returned her desire with his own.

With reluctance they each pulled away. It was understood that he needed to go or the next kiss would not end until morning. Neither was prepared to take their relationship to that level … yet.

She walked him to the door. "The doctor's appointment is at 1500." She said softly.

"Already cleared my calendar." He pressed her hand. "May I take you to dinner tomorrow night?"

"I thought you and Sturgis were playing basketball."

"Hell, for a date with you I would cancel in a heartbeat." His smile flashed and lit his eyes.

Mac's heart melted. "Ya know … you can be really good for a girl's ego."

"Not just your ego, babe." He slid his finger down her jaw line.

She pressed his hand to her lips. "Go play basketball with Sturgis … it will be good for you to work out a little of that pent up energy you have." She grinned. "I have dinner plans with a friend anyway."

"Oh really … a friend?"

"My friend Gates … the one I told you about."

"Right, the psychiatrist … will I get to meet her."

"I'm sure." She answered quickly. "Another time."

"Aahhhh … A little girl talk, huh? Wish I could be a fly on that wall."

"Good night, Harm." She warned.

"Pleasant dreams."

"You too, I'll see you in the morning."

"We have that interview at 0800." He reminded her.

With that he was gone. She missed him immediately. She nearly ran after him to beg him to stay, but actually thought better of it. She liked the fact that she could think about him, miss him, yearn for him. In all the years she had loved him, she never let her mind go and think about what it would be like to be with him. There was always some reason to hold back, to deny her self the pleasure of the fantasy. She could allow herself that now. She liked these beginning stages of love. It was new for her and she wanted to savor every moment of it.

She drew herself a bath.

Mac lay in the bath enjoying her time alone: feeling pampered and happy. She had been in the tub long enough to have to reheat the water once. It had soaked away the pain in her back and eased the stress in her shoulders. She pulled herself out of the tub, wrapped herself in the lush bathrobe and again replaced the cold water with hot. She added more bubble bath and smiled guiltily.

Leaving it to refill, she went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Perrier. Her brief case lay open on the desk. She retrieved her cell phone and went back to the bathroom. She eased herself slowly back into the hot soapy water and stayed still with her eyes closed letting the steam and the lavender fumes soothe her.

After a long moment, she opened her eyes and spied the phone that lay on the edge of the tub. She turned it on and waited as it "booted" itself up. She had missed 15 calls. She cleared them without looking to see who they were from and dialed a familiar number.

In the middle of the first ring the voice she had hoped to hear came over the line but instead of the warm friendly 'hello' she was expecting, she got a brusque, irritated Harm.

This is not working for me, kid. Get your six over here right now.

"Harm?" She was worried she shouldn't have called.

Mac? Are you all right? The worry was thick in his voice, no trace of the frustration that came before.

"I'm fine." She slumped down deeper into the water. "Who did you think was calling?"

Mattie. He said a little embarrassed at his previous gruffness.

"What is going on?"

I am reviewing Mattie's English paper. It's due tomorrow.

"You're not impressed."

This is not her best work. It's going to take her all night to fix.

"To YOUR standards."

To anyone's. I'm not sure she read the book and I know for a fact she didn't run the spell check.

"You have done such a wonderful job with her, Harm." She said. "I meant to tell you that earlier."

She's a good kid.

"She was a bitter angry mouthy brat when I first met her." She corrected. "Now she is a sweet funny generous happy teenager. You did that."

I didn't do that much.

"You gave her a safe place to be and a loving environment to deal with what she needed to deal with. That's a lot."

Thank you. He was still a little embarrassed about the role he played in Mattie's life particularly because it was still so up in the air.

"You are worried that you are going to lose her." It was an obvious statement, but Mac needed to be that pointed in order to bring the subject up.

Six months is up in a few weeks. I'll be getting a court date any day now and the surprise visit from CPS."

"You can handle that."

Yeah, I suppose. I really wanted us to be in a house right now, but it just didn't work out.

"They will see that she is well taken care of."

Maybe, but I am sure Tom will want custody.

"What does Mattie want?"

I haven't asked her. He added quickly. But I will, when the time is right.

"What do you want?"

I want her with me, but I also want her to have a relationship with her father.

"If she goes back to live with him...?"

Then I will be the weekend … whatever.

"At least you won't lose contact with her."

No, but I imagine it will be a little like what you and Chloe have. You don't get to see her as much as you would like, but she is never far from your daily life.

"True ... I wonder? Should we try to get Chloe and Mattie together?"

That sounds interesting and expensive. Two fifteen-year-old girls … I shudder to think. He mocked.

Mac laughed.

So you called me. What's going on? Are you really fine?

"Yes, Yes. I was just thinking about you and thought I would give you a call."

I'm glad you did. Harm's voice became tender. Thinking about me, huh?

"Yeah …"

Can I let it go to my head?

"Could I stop you?" She laughed and splashed some water.

What is all that splashing?

"I am in the bathtub."

The bathtub?

She could feel the smile spread across his face even over the phone line. "Yeah ... it's a great tub. Big enough for two." She said slyly.

Oh, Mac -- you are killing me.

"Am I?" She cooed not so innocently.

A beautiful woman calling me for no reason other than she was thinking about me from her bathtub big enough for two…

"Yeah?" She loved his reaction.

Talk about good for someone's ego. Life just doesn't get any better.

"Oh ... I can think of one or two ways it could get better." She purred.

You could?

"I could."

Well, we will have to explore those further.

"Count on it."

They were silent for a moment, neither wanting to hang up but worried about pushing the conversation any further in the direction it was headed.

"I should probably go." She said after a moment. "Getting a little pruney."

You can't ruin my visual with that, ya know.

"Your visual?"

I have an image of you in the bathtub that lives in my head.

"You do huh? From where?"

Last year.

"Oh yeah, when you said you forgot how beautiful I was." The look on his face when he said that lived in her mind as well.

I will never forget again.

She had gotten what she called for - validation. "Go do your homework, Harm." She laughed. "Pleasant dreams."

They will be now.

"I am glad I could help."

Night, Angel.

"Night." She sat up quickly in the tub. "Harm?"

Right here.

"I love you."

He sighed. Life didn't get any better. I love you too.

"Sleep well."

1556 LOCAL - Wednesday

Bethesda Hospital

"I am sure you two would like some time to discuss your options." The doctor said.

Harm and Mac both looked a little shell-shocked. Mac started to stand up but the doctor stopped her.

"Please use my office. I have another patient to see. We can talk later after you have decided what you want to do."

The information imparted in a nutshell was this: the doctor recommended that Mac have a laparoscopy with laser ablation to remove the endometriosis. It was the least invasive of the surgeries. It was outpatient but she would not be able to work for several days and should avoid all strenuous activity for at least a week and sexual activity for at least two. The surgery could be scheduled for Friday morning. Further the doctor recommended that Mac go on a heavy dose birth control to try to control any further damage and to give her body a rest. She would recommend a course for no less than six months with a review at that time to determine what should be done next. Of course if they were planning on trying to get pregnant right away, she would still recommend the surgery. With the extent of the damage, Mac would be in a great deal of pain throughout the entire pregnancy if she didn't have it.

There were more than a few uncomfortable moments. The doctor questioned Mac on when the pain was the worst. Mac didn't want to say that it was after intercourse but had to acknowledge that it was. She also didn't want to acknowledge that the birth control method she had been using was condoms. During that part of the discussion she could not look at Harm. If she had, she would have seen no outward signs of him having any kind of reaction at all, but she wouldn't have been too far off if she surmised that he was completely torn up inside. He never wanted to have the image of Mac and Webb in bed or know anything about those relations, but he was forced to see it. It made him feel somehow out of place.

Further when discussing the idea of getting pregnant Mac asked about all the 'scientific' methods but the doctor quickly told her that the 'old fashion' way was preferable and should be tried first. If that didn't work after several months, then a more direct approach could be taken. Harm was unsure how he was supposed to take that line of questioning from Mac, but by then he was just hanging on by the skin of his teeth.

The doctor left them alone. Harm was waiting for Mac to speak. "So I guess that is it then." She said.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Well the doctor knows what she is doing – at least more than we do – we should listen to her."

"Mac, she gave us options and her recommendation."

"I know; I was here." She got up and moved away from him.

"Right." Harm felt a wall forming.

"So what do you think?" She asked him with an even voice clearly being restrained.

"I think the surgery is probably in order."

"Agreed."

She waited.

Harm took a deep breath and braved the next statement. "I think we should try to get pregnant as soon as we can."

"We have a lot to discuss before we do that." She was still acting standoffish.

"Yes we do." He stood and crossed to be closer to her. "And we will discuss all of it now that we have the facts about this … we have time."

He was being so kind and gentle. It finally got to Mac. "Stop it." She snapped at him.

"Stop what?" He was forcing himself to be calm.

"Stop being so damn understanding." She moved away.

"Excuse me?"

"Why aren't you pissed off or irritated or … affronted."

"What good would it do?" He snapped back at her.

"It would let me know that it is really you standing there and not some watered down version of you."

"What do you want me to say Mac? Do you want me to say that I HATE the fact that you were sleeping with Webb? Do you want me to be snide and caustic now that I have knowledge about the two of you – knowledge that no man should have about the woman he loves and another man? Or would you rather I be AFFRONTED that our relationship … for as long as it lasts … will have started out of necessity rather than love? Is that what you want?"

"Is it the truth?" She had gotten what she asked for and was now sorry for it.

"There are elements of truth in all of that." He held firm.

"What the hell are we doing?" She threw herself down in the chair.

He was not ready to back down. "In reference to what?"

She watched him for a long moment. "Do you want to know what I am so pissed off about?"

He shrugged a nod.

"I am pissed off that we have to think about all of this … I don't want to be this … this … this practical … this analytical about something that should be felt … something natural … a baby is not something to be strategized or planned."

Harm was in silent agreement.

"And you know what the worst is?" She shook her head. "That damn baby deal … if we had never made that deal would we be here right now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what would be different now if we had not made that deal? On the face of it, you never would have renewed your offer last week and we never would have had a reason to discuss this damn endometriosis."

"Facts not in evidence --."

She cut him off. "By the same token … if we had not made that deal would it have taken something like this to get us together or would a whole series of events been different?"

"Mac." He tried to stop her tirade.

"Like Sydney Harbor … "

"Mac."

"My relationship with Mic …"

"Mac."

"Like Paraguay."

"MAC!" He raised his voice. "Stop … just stop. The 'what if's and the suppositions are pointless."

"Pointless?"

"Yes. We are here. We are now. And we are going to deal with this and get through it – TOGETHER."

She cocked her head and looked at him sincerely. "You really mean that."

"Why wouldn't I mean it? Did you think that when things got a little sticky … a little uncomfortable that I would walk away?"

"Let's just say that I wouldn't have been surprised."

"Damn you Mac – you know me better than that."

Mac was immediately sorry that she had said what she did. "I do. I do know you better than that. I'm sorry."

"Fine."

She went over to him and placed her hand on the folded arms across his chest. "I am really sorry."

He pulled her into an embrace. "I know. I'm sorry too."

"Of all the stuff that has happened in the last … whatever … this is the one that was totally out of my control. I am having a hard time with that."

"You do like to be in charge." He pulled her more tightly to him.

"You're no passive receiver either, you know." She added.

"Not usually … usually I like to save the day. But I can't this time." He pulled back a little. "Can we make a plan?"

She nodded.

They each sat back down, but held each other's hand.

"I could probably take Friday and Monday off." She started.

"I could swing Friday morning and probably the afternoon." He said. "How about if you stay with me?"

"Harm."

"Look … it makes good sense. Mattie and Jennifer will both be there and the doctor says that you shouldn't be left alone for the first forty-eight hours."

"That means we will need to bring Jennifer into the loop."

"What makes you think for a minute she is out of the loop? Are you kidding? All we have to do is ask her to keep it quiet and give her the bare minimum of details."

"Alright." She exhaled. "And after that?"

"How about we take this one step at a time. We will have time to talk after the procedure."

"But you already know what you want." She suggested.

"Mac, all I know is that I want you and what that means is … whatever it takes for us."

"We have a lot to discuss."

"I know."

He pulled her back into an embraced. Mac wondered. 'Was there really that much to discuss or was it just a matter of accepting reality?'


	7. 7

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Seven

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

Old Friends - Chapter Seven 

**All Gates - All The Time**

**1758 EST **

**Dr. Gates Madden's Office**

**CIA HQ**

Gates had just finished with her last appointment. She and Mac had been playing phone tag all day. It was her turn to call back.

She tried Mac again. "Mac-KAY … what's up? Not breaking our date are you?"

Not a chance. But I am running late. Harm dumped a deposition in my lap.

"Harm? The man who gave up everything for you?"

Everything but his basketball game. Mac laughed.

"Oh Mac, please don't tell me he is a jock too boot."

Not much of one. But hey … it won't be that long, it's just that we got back late.

"How'd the doctor's appointment go?"

Fine … ya know … it is never good dealing with this kind of stuff.

"Harm went with you?"

He did.

"How was that?"

Good. I mean it was tough, but good. He is a good man, Gates. And he seems to be putting up with a lot of my moods lately – and that is more than I ever could have said.

"So when do I get to meet this man among men?"

Soon, not tonight, tonight is for us to catch up. We have eighteen years.

"All in one night?" Gates laughed.

She muffled the phone and said something to someone else. Hey, gotta run. I'll tell you all about it tonight. Can I meet you at McMurphy's? It is close to JAG. And we will go to dinner from there.

"Fine by me."

Around 1900?

"1900? Do I have to do the math myself?" Gates hated the military jargons. After growing up with two naval officer parents, and being married to a sub-sailor, she was done.

Probably closer to 19 - seven-thirteen.

"Oh get over your bad self and that precision timing thing … I'll see you there."

Do you know where it is?" Mac asked quickly before Gates hung up.

"I'll find it. BYEE." Gates dropped the phone in the cradle.

On her desk was the file for "Webb, Clayton." It was still sealed. She picked it up and turned it over in her hands deciding weather or not to break the seal to remind herself of who he was. Across it in big bold letters was D-E-C-E-A-S-E-D. Gates hated reading that on any agent's file even the ones she did not like. If they did live long enough to retire, they were mere shells of their former selves anyway. The CIA – blood suckers by any other name.

For all the deceased agents there were, there were twice as many – or more – family members missing them. Many of them were holding on to a sliver of hope that by some miracle or some ridiculous twist of fate their spy would come home – in from the cold, as they say. Where did they get those stupid ideas? Hollywood. Gates hated spy novels or spy movies. They were so unrealistic and she had read and seen them all – so she ought to know. Agents died all the time and no Tom Clancy, John Le Carre or soap opera-like amazing plot twist was going to bring them back from the dead. There was nothing romantic about being an agent. It was work, hard work – dangerous work – and it made those stupid enough to volunteer for the job do things that their mothers had spent their formidable years teaching them not to do. How does an agent live with himself? Enter Gates and the mandatory agency debrief.

"Why the hell do I put myself through this?" She asked aloud slipping the folder into a black bag.

Gates knew the answer; she was good at her job. She was good at helping people accept reality. Sadly she was also good at "patching" up their psyches and getting them back out there. Kind of like a medic on the front lines. For all her protestations about hating the agency, she loved the agents - each and every one of them – even the ones she did not like. It broke her heart to see them change over the years. There was only a handful that she saw from beginning to end. She tried not to get too close to any of them.

She knew Webb, not well, but she knew him. She remembered the first meeting she had had with him was after that Angel Shark incident. She had just been transferred to the Washington office. He was pretty close to her first case there. She remembered that she thought he could have been a good man but he wanted to be a cold-blooded agent. That's why she didn't like him. He wanted to be SuperSpy like his father and it wasn't in him. Clayton Webb couldn't accept who he really was. He could always be convinced to do the right thing, and he hated that about himself. It hadn't occurred to Gates until that very moment, but she believed that a navy commander was responsible for pushing Webb to give up the information in the Angel Shark case. She remembered in her session that he had commented that this navy commander had done it to him in the past; blamed the commander for the situation he was in. That navy commander must be Harmon Rabb. Interesting. Anyway, the Angel Shark fiasco was the beginning of the end for Webb, in more ways than two. It got him sent south and that was when the sand started slipped out from under his feet. He reached out for help and grabbed on to Sarah; nearly took her down with him. Now he was dead. Poor Webb.

Lying open on her desk was a file marked: "MacKenzie, Sarah, Colonel USMC." She quickly reread the face sheet she had prepared. Tucked it into the file. She pulled a stamp from her desk and marked it "EYES ONLY." She sealed it, slipped it into the bag and called for a runner. She didn't actually read Mac's CIA file, but she did read the after action report for Paraguay and the incident with Sadik. Gates was impressed that her old friend could survive two such encounters. She hated spying on her friends and would normally recuse herself, but something told her that this time Mac needed to have a friend on the inside. Mac was not just another agent – she was special and deserved to be treated that way.

The runner came and took the bag. Seconds later Kershaw walked into her office with it.

"Gates." He greeted her sternly trying to exert his authority.

"Kershy." She sat back. "Finally want to address that Oedipus complex of yours? Recurring nightmares? Still wearing women's underwear?"

He wasn't amused by Gates flippant attitude. Sadly he couldn't fire her; she got the job done. "Need to ask about MacKenzie."

"MacKenzie, Sarah. Colonel in the Marines. Lawyer. Don't know her SSN but I sure we have it some where."

Kershaw was clearly becoming annoyed. "Is she going to be any trouble?"

The hair on that back of her neck went up. "Trouble? … With a capital T?" She forced a smile. "Right here in River City?"

"Answer the question Gates."

She exhaled and tried to act disinterestedly annoyed, she was anything but. "In what way?"

"Look, MacKenzie has a reputation - as does her damn partner, Rabb."

"Rabb? Who is Rabb?" She flipped through some files on her desk pretending to look for Harm's file.

"Did you read the file? Come on Gates – do your job."

"Sorry, the little details like names and places are usually BLACKED out on the copies I get."

He rolled his eyes. Gates had higher security clearance than most; nothing was BLACKED out. "Rabb – Commander in the Navy – affected the rescue of Webb and MacKenzie in Paraguay."

"Oh right … Super-Rabb … now what about him?"

"They have a reputation of being …"

"Tenacious? Persistent? Pit Bulls with a bone?" She offered.

"Is MacKenzie going to accept what she was given or is she going to try to find out what happened with Webb?"

"Webb is dead." Gates stated watching Kershaw's eyes. Eyes – the windows to the soul and a damn fine way of finding out if someone is lying.

Kershaw looked away. In fact he turned his whole body away. "Are MacKenzie and Rabb going to look into it?"

So, Webb was not dead, Gates surmised. Or if he was, there was something that should not come out about it. "Can't speak to the Rabb question, but Mac – MacKenzie will let it go."

Kershaw looked back at her. "Are you sure?"

"As sure as you are that Webb is dead, I am sure that Colonel MacKenzie will not try to find out the details of his death."

Kershaw studied her for a moment. That was not the answer he was looking for. "Fine." He turned to walk out.

"Of course," Gates called after him. "What I do is not an exact science so don't quote me on it."

"Understood." He left.

Gates turned in her chair to look out the window. "Oh damn, Mac. What are you going to do now?"

0656 Local

McMurphy's Bar

Gates found the bar without any problem, even its alleyway entrance. Gates had always been good at finding bars, but that was in her youth – well, more youthful. She had given up drinking after her second husband, no third – the sailor, the sub-sailor. That man certainly knew how to make up for six months at sea – and not just in the drinking department. They drank together and fought; probably what ruined the marriage – the drinking not the fighting. But she quit long after the divorce when she realized how depressed she was. Hmm, alcohol was a depressant and she was depressed – cause? Or just exacerbating factor? Either way she quit.

"Cranberry and Soda, please." She asked the bartender.

The bartender was unsure if they had any cranberry in the house, but after searching the back he found a bottle.

Gates was trying to decide how she would talk to Mac about what she thought she knew. Strictly speaking she didn't KNOW anything. Practically speaking she was not authorized to give her impressions to Mac. It was against the rules. In the end, did Mac really need that kind of drama in her life – rather any more of that kind of drama? She was starting this new relationship that had enough troubles, but on the other hand … she was with Webb at the time of his death – supposed death – maybe she needed to finish with him before she could truly move on.

"Screw it." She muttered to herself. "No need to know."

"You said something?" The bartender asked.

"No, just talking to myself." She picked up her drink and moved to a table in the corner to wait for Mac.

Two men walked in – one tall and white and one not as tall and black. They were laughing and recounting some sporting event. Dressed casually in jeans, they looked like they had just gotten done playing and were fresh from the common shower – like a couple of teenagers – only moving more slowly. The tall one (very good looking even if he did know it) walked by her on his way to the jukebox. He made quick eye contact and offered her a safe friendly smile.

'Sparkling blue eyes.' Gates thought. 'I could get lost in them. Husband number four? Maybe?'

"Hey Rabb." The other man called over. "Beer? Or something stronger."

"Beer's good."

AH HA … So this was the infamous Harmon Rabb. Her interest in him shifted immediately. He was no longer her future ex-husband; he was a subject to be studied, like a wild animal in his natural habitat. What did Mac see in him? He did move well, in an I've-got-limbs-that-go-on-for-days kind of way. And yes he had great jeans – genes rather. He was a little too GQ meets GI for the old Mac, Gates thought. However, Mac had been in the marines for nearly fifteen years, tastes had to have changed. Gates couldn't really tell, but he didn't seem as shallow as most men with that kind of look usually were. He and the other guy appeared to be good friends. As soon as they were seated the discussion of the game was done, and they were on to something more serious. Gates moved so she could over hear.

"Nothing, Sturgis." Harm said. "Nothing is going on."

"Not buying it, Harm." He warned. "I haven't seen you look this happy in more than a year. Something is up."

"Mattie got an 'A' on her English test." Harm said by way of explanation – albeit weak. "But she won't know about her paper for a few days."

"You and Mac are getting along better." Sturgis offered ignoring the Mattie ploy. He wanted to tell him what he knew about Webb but he had to believe that they knew. The best course of action was to not talk about it.

"Are we?" Harm let his mind fill with the image of Mac in the bathtub on the phone to him. The smile could not be contained on is face. "I guess we are."

Harm was not prepared to bring Sturgis into the loop. It was still too soon. Everything was still up in the air and could fall apart at any second if the experience at the doctor's office that afternoon was any kind of ruler. Harm and Mac were not set in stone, and to share with anyone from JAG that they were trying to get together was premature at best and could ruin it at worse.

"Yes you are … I am going up against you two on the Markson Courts Martial and I am feeling a little out gunned."

"When Mac and I are on … you don't stand a chance." Harm said proudly.

"Well you certainly are ON in this case."

Harm turned his back to the bar and leaned back on it. He looked so pleased with himself. He noticed that Gates was still watching him. He gave her another wary smile and turned away.

"She's looking at you." Turner whispered.

"I can see that." He claimed. "Not interested."

"OH?"

"Let it go, Sturgis." Harm warned. His phone rang. He read the caller ID. "It's Mattie, only take a second. Excuse me. "

Turned looked over and smiled at Gates. She looked like she would be good for Harm: the right age, very attractive, his type – kind of flowy and blonde and organic – at least her clothes were made from natural fibers and she was clearly interested. Turned didn't know what was going on with Harm and Mac, but after all this time, he had to believe that nothing had changed – that nothing would ever change between them. This calm period was just the calm before the storm – the next storm. So Harm should move on and Mac needed time to get over this latest tragedy before she did the same.

"I'm going to check in with Varese." Turner said to Harm's other ear. He moved away to use the phone in private.

When Harm hung up he ordered another beer for both he and Turner.

"May I join you?" Came a request from behind him.

Harm turned to see that Gates was motioning toward the stool next to his.

"Sure." He stood – the good gentleman that he was and gestured to the bar tender to refill the lady's drink.

"Oh my – I don't think I have had a man stand for me in years."

Harm nodded and stuck out his hand. "Harm."

"Dr. G." She said taking his offered handshake.

"Doctor? A real doctor?"

"Or do I just play one on TV?" She finished his thought.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean –."

"Don't give it another thought. Most people assume I have a radio show with a handle like 'Dr. G.'"

"No, you're not in radio." He smiled warmly at her, probably implying that she was too pretty for radio.

"Thank you." Gates took the compliment and wondered if he was really flirting with her or if he was just being nice.

"So what kind of doctor are you?"

"No … no … No self disclosures." She added. "Let me tell you about you …"

He laughed. "Always wanted to know about me."

"You'd be surprised. I am pretty good at this."

"I am all ears."

"Not from where I am sitting." She teased.

'Uh Oh.' Harm thought. 'What have I gotten myself into?'

Gates surveyed him for a moment up and down. "By the look of you … I would say you are military … probably Navy … and since you are in Washington during wartime, I am going to say you are a lawyer."

"Very good." Harm nodded. "Batting a thousand."

"Should I go on?" she flirted.

"You are on a roll." He was in for the game but his suspicions were up. She had hit a little to close to the mark a little to effortlessly.

"You haven't always been a lawyer … you have a look about you that screams ACTION … hmm … let me think … Navy … action … well you got that Tom Cruise/Top Gun grin … but you are a little too tall … ah hell … gonna go with pilot anyway … fighter pilot of course."

"Right again." He nodded his approval. She had definitely gotten her intel from somewhere.

"Sometimes I can nail these things … it's a little spooky."

"Spooky huh?" Harm asked. "What kind of doctor are you?"

"You tell me." Gates taunted.

"Hmm … I'd say … you are a professor at Georgetown." He was throwing stuff out there; he knew he was wrong.

"In what area?"

"The paranormal – ESP – all that mystic spiritual stuff." He added, "You probably have a crystal ball on your desk."

"WOW … you are so cold I am getting frost bite over here." She laughed. "Except for the crystal ball, I need that in my work."

"Hmm … interesting."

"I will go on?" She asked.

He nodded to let her proceed.

"OK … pilot turned lawyer … I am sure there is a story there … probably something tragic, but I won't venture to guess. With that cocky attitude I am going to say that you are pretty good at what you do and you know it. In fact I bet you throw it in everyone's face."

"More truth in that statement then he would ever admit." Turner said from behind.

Gates and Harm both looked over at him. Harm did the introductions. "Sturgis Turner this is Doctor G."

Sturgis reached out his hand to her, "Oh like Kenny G."

She smiled. "Without the saxophone."

"It is a pleasure to meet you." Turner continued.

"The pleasure is all mine." Gates smile was infectious.

"So you are painting Harm's life story, I gather."

"I am making a few broad stokes." She clarified.

"She is doing better than that." Harm corrected.

"Well, don't let me stop you." Turner sat back.

"I'd say you two have been friends forever … so therefore there is more to you than arrogant pilot/lawyer."

"I'd like to think so." Harm said.

"Women." Gates stated and scrutinized him. "You've never been married … never been close to the altar. Commitment issues. You haven't found the right woman … no you have and just waiting for her to realize it."

How was that for a bull's-eye? Harm deflected, "Psychology – a behaviorist."

"Warmer – but I don't teach … not at a University anyway." She reached out and ran her finger down his arm.

Harm tensed at her touch and moved his arm away, pretending to need a drink from his beer. He looked at Sturgis for help who had no intention of helping bail him out of this.

Gates was having fun. She liked that he was squirming under her attention. She knew this was going to come back to bite her in the butt when he found out who she was, but until then she was able to get a better idea about him even though she was doing most of the talking. She also knew that Mac would have something to say to her. But this was all in fun, no harm done. He wasn't her type.

Gates' phone rang. She saw who it was and didn't bother to move away. "Lady M … 'course I found the place … sure, sure lady, take your time … just making some friends." She looked up at Harm and Sturgis. "… Yeah, they have possibilities … see you in a flash." She hung up. "How would you two like to join my friend and me for dinner tonight?"

Harm was intrigued – though he did not know why – about this friend. There was something about this Dr. G he just couldn't put his finger on it.

Sturgis finished his beer. "I would love to, but it will have to be another time."

"Oh, how sad." Gates said. "And I hadn't even started on you yet."

"My life is not as interesting as my man Rabb's is." Sturgis claimed.

"I wouldn't bet on that." She offered.

"Hey, buddy." Sturgis slapped him on the back. "Gotta go, Varese is waiting. Thanks for the game."

Harm nodded, his mind was still working on the Dr. G mystery.

Sturgis leaned in and whispered. "Go for it – it's time." He turned to Gates. "It was a pleasure to meet you Dr. G. Maybe we will run into each other again some time."

"You can count on that, Sturgis." Gates turned back to Harm. "So, Harm … will you join us for dinner?"

"I don't think that would be such a good idea." He said cryptically.

"Oh?"

"I usually like to know a little bit more about the people I have dinner with."

"How better to get to know someone than by breaking bread with them?"

"Tell me about your friend." He asked.

"Not much to tell really."

"Is she single?" He asked.

"She is beautiful."

"If she is a friend of yours, I don't doubt that." He said. "Are you two OLD FRIENDS, like Sturgis and I?"

"We share a past – my Lady and me."

"Your Lady?"

"A nick name we had when we were kids."

"So you have known each other for a long time."

"We have." She was giving nothing away – rather very little.

"You seem to know an awful lot about me." He turned his full investigator stare at her. "How is that?"

"Women know things."

He laughed. "While I don't doubt that … I think there is something a little more at work here than women's intuition."

"Why whatever could you mean?" She batted her eyes innocently. He was getting close to figuring out something.

"Your comments were a little too pointed … a little too 'right on' … you know who I am."

"Have we ever met before?" She defended.

"Not face to face." He studied her. "Nevertheless, you do know me … know about me anyway."

"How could I? Are you that famous, Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr., that I would know things about you? Or are you just infamous?"

He grinned. She tipped her hand. Harm thought quickly: a doctor, G in her name, waiting for a friend at McMurphy's, who knew him. One plus one plus one plus one … simple.

"Maybe through a mutual friend." He offered.

"Two strangers in a bar with a mutual friend? Please -- what are the odds?"

"It's a small world, Doc."

"Not that small."

"OK, Dr. G … let me tell you about you."

"Please." She knew he figured it out. She liked him. He was smart and a good sport.

"You ARE a doctor … a real doctor … a head shrinker, I do believe … you work with the spooks … and your name is -."

"Are you going to say Rumpelstiltskin? She interrupted.

"Ha – no – you are -."

"Gates!" Mac's voice came from behind them.

Gates looked up and laughed at Mac. "Mac-KAY – right on time – as usual. Meet my new friend, Harmon Rabb, Jr."

Harm stood up immediately. His smile was for Gates but his eyes were on Mac.

"What is going on here?" Mac was clearly not expecting to see these two in a conversation.

"Just telling each other's life stories." Harm explained. "May I buy you a drink?"

"I thought you and Turner were playing basketball." She accused.

"Game finished early. You just missed him." Harm sat back down. "So this is your OLD friend Gates, huh?"

Gates smiled at him ignoring Mac for the moment. "Very well played Harm."

"What can you tell me about Mac here?" Harm reached over to wrap his arm around Mac.

She stepped out of reach. Mac was now worried and embarrassed. Gates had too much information about her; information that Mac was not proud of and had tried to overcome.

"Oh no." Gates eyes flashed. "You know all you need to know about My Lady Mac. Her secrets are safe with me."

"It appears – however – that mine are not safe with her." He turned a playful scold in Mac's direction.

"Harm can I talk to you for just a moment?" Mac asked. "Gates, we'll be right back." She gave her a look that said 'What did you say?'

Gates smiled and shrugged innocently.

Mac and Harm moved off to the other side of the bar. "What is going on here?" She demanded.

"You tell me … she approached me." He leaned away from her. "Just what have you said to her about me anyway?"

Mac shook her head. "I didn't -." She couldn't believe that Gates would break a confidence.

Harm took pity on her. "Don't worry, Mac. She didn't say anything bad."

Mac relaxed a little.

"So what have you told her about me?" He continued.

"Harm." She warned.

"She invited me to join you two for dinner."

Mac looked back over at Gates.

"But I already have a date with two women."

"Harm, I wanted you to meet her -."

"Just not like this … well I have to tell you MacKAY." He smiled. "She intrigues me."

"Oh?" Mac eyes turned a little green.

"She'll be good for you. She has got a playful side to her."

"Are you saying that I am not playful?"

"I am saying that I like her." He explained. "What little I know of her – I like her. But I won't stay and ruin your evening."

"I didn't say you would ruin my evening." She defended. "I just …"

"Wanted a little girl talk. It's OK." He pressed her hand. "I understand. Will you call me tonight when you get back?"

"Checking up on me?"

"I would just like to hear your voice before I go to sleep."

Oh, how sweet is that? Mac's heart softened.

"Can't begin to tell you what it did for my dreams last night." Harm pushed it. He gives and then he takes away.

She shook her head. She had a dream or two about him as well but would not admit it. "It might be late."

"Wake me up." He thread his fingers through hers, trying to keep this PDA on the down low.

"Can I just say," she whispered. "That you being sweet to me is going to take some getting used to?"

"Will it be a problem?" He turned completely to her so that he was the only thing she could see.

"I can handle it."

"Good." He waited through the electric moment. "You want to kiss me right now don't you?" He taunted.

"I am resisting the impulse." She challenged.

"But you want to."

"Yes."

"Good." He pulled his hand slowly away. "Have a good time tonight."

Harm stepped back over to Gates. "Dr. G. It was a pleasure to meet you."

"And to be met."

"We'll make dinner another night – with or without Lady M here." He smiled back at Mac. "Good night."

He grabbed his coat and ambled toward the door.

"Hey Rabb." Gates called after him. "Great jeans."

"GATES!" Mac scolded.

Harm loved the compliment and loved where it came from. He nodded his thanks and skated out of the bar quickly.

"Gates what in the world possessed you to talk to him?" Mac was trying to be appalled.

"Please, Mac. You tell me to meet you at a bar where you know he could be and show up late … you wanted us to meet. That was no Freudian slip, my dear."

"I won't own that."

"You need to, sweetheart."

Mac shook her head and looked back toward the door to be sure that he was gone. "So, what did you think?"

"He's cute." Gates said simply.

"That's it? He's cute. What are we like 8?"

"What do you want me to say? He is very attractive and can take a good prank."

"Prank?" Mac was confused.

"Oh Lady, I didn't introduce myself."

"You tried to pick him up?" Mac laughed at her old friend. "Was it working?"

"Honestly? Do you really want to know?" She warned. "Be careful what you wish for."

"You're kidding."

"Yes I'm kidding. The man is hopelessly in love with you."

"How do you know?"

"Cause he only has eyes for you."

Mac waved it off. "Let's get out of here before he changes his mind."

The two women left arm in arm.

**2238 EST **

**Citronelle Dining Room at The Latham**

Dinner dishes had been cleared away and the remains of the chocolate dessert and two cups of coffee were all that was left on the table.

The ladies had been catching up nonstop since they met up at the bar. The incident with Harm was all but forgotten – for the moment. They had covered Gates' three marriages, her son and her distinguished career with the CIA. She had been recruited right out of undergrad and had stayed on through her medical and psychiatric training. She had only transferred to Washington a year and a half ago. They had covered Mac's miserable marriage and later death of her husband. She told of her Uncle Matt's intervention and her sobriety. She covered – in limited detail – her relationship with Farrow, Dalton and Brumby and the role Harm played in each of those. They covered her rise in the marines and her career aspirations and how they have changed after recent events. This lead to the next obvious question:

"So about this baby you want to have." Gates was always direct. "Tell me about what is happening there."

"Oh Gates, I don't know. I worry that it won't happen." Mac was resigning herself to the possibility.

"Women with endometriosis have babies you know, it's not unheard of."

"I know. And I know that I shouldn't lose hope." Mac looked down. "But everything is so messed up right now."

"Do you need to make the decision now?"

"Waiting could ruin my chances." Mac said. "I am no spring chicken."

"Women have babies well into their forties these days, doll."

"I don't want to be that old when I have a baby." Mac whined.

"So what is the problem with now?"

"It's Harm – rather me and Harm." She waited for Gates to acknowledge her comment. She didn't so Mac repeated. "We are the problem."

Gates was unimpressed. "What's the problem?"

"Up until a week ago, I would have said that Harm and I never would have been able to make a life together – hell, a year ago I said – TO HIM – that there would never be an US and now I am thinking about having a baby with him… "

"Did you believe it when you said it?" Gates asked.

"I believed it just before the words came out of my mouth."

"And afterward?"

Mac looked down. "He didn't argue with me."

"Did you want him to argue with you?"

"Maybe, I don't know. Maybe I said it because I wanted it to be true."

"Or maybe it is true." She offered. "The truth comes out in mysterious ways."

Mac looked as if she had been sucker punched.

Gates leaned back and changed her tactic. "Why did you want it to be true, honey?"

"We fight. We both want to be in control. Neither one of us will let the other …" She lost the word.

"Win?"

"Yeah … like it is some stupid game." Mac shook her head. "And we work together. How is that going to continue? He just got his job back – if we got together they would have to reassign one of us and I don't want a long distance relationship – not if we are going to try to have a baby. And he's got Mattie and --. We were better at being friends - before." Mac was thinking before Paraguay.

"So dump him." Gates said matter-of-factly.

"What?"

"So don't have a baby with him … have one with some one else – or by yourself."

"You want me to what?"

"Well, clearly the relationship is doomed." Gates shrugged. "You know it and Rabb probably knows it … just end it now and find someone else."

"I can't believe you are saying this to me."

"What? It's pretty simple." She took a sip from her coffee. "People don't change, honey. Something kept you apart for all this time. Doesn't matter if it is you or him – or the two of you."

"But something also kept us together." Mac argued.

"Of course you have been tied together." She stated as if it were obvious. "You haven't slept with the man."

"Gates." She looked around hoping that no one over heard her.

"For Christ's sake Mac. The man is hot … what you two have is chemistry." She smiled. "I say fuck 'em and dump 'em."

"Gates."

"Get it out of your system … Hell you should have years ago and this would never be an issue."

Mac was stunned that her friend would be so outrageous.

"Have you changed?" Gates prodded. "Since you and Harm met, have you changed?"

"Yeah … a lot." Mac wanted to prove Gates wrong. "In just this last year alone."

"How?" Gates was unconvinced.

Mac seemed unsure of her answer. "I don't know exactly … things that were important to me before aren't as important."

"Like winning the battle of wills with Harm?"

"Yeah, maybe." She had changed in more ways than just that and so had he.

"And maybe not. Maybe you just wore each other out." She continued. "Maybe when the dust settles things will go back to the way they were – you two fighting for the top."

Mac shook her head. "Why are you doing this?"

"What am I doing?" Gate put up her hands. "I am just telling you what you already know."

"I don't know it … and you don't know it." Mac challenged. "No one knows what will happen between me and Harm because we have never tried."

"So?" Gates felt triumphant.

"So what?"

"So TRY and shut the hell up about it."

"Gates."

"Look baby, if you continue to sit on the fence and think of all the BAD STUFF that could happen, you will never move off. So try … DO … DO SOMETHING. You have been putting your life on hold, going with men that you don't stand a chance of making a life with."

"Hey." Mac yelled back.

"You had no future with anyone of them --- a drunk, an aussie and a spy? Are you nuts? You were making that same old CHRIS mistake over and over again." She leaned forward. "You will go with anyone WHO ASKES to save you and get you out of the HELL that you call your life."

"What about Harm? Wouldn't I be making the same making with him that I did with Chris, Mic, … Webb?"

"Maybe, I don't know." She answered honestly. "What is different about Harm?"

Mac couldn't answer that.

"Do I have to tell you?" Gates asked. "Do I really have to tell you? You mean you really DON'T KNOW?"

"Whose side are you on, Gates?"

"Whose side are you on?" Gates asked pointedly.

"I beg your pardon." Mac was indignant.

"Baby, you are constantly shooting yourself in the foot. I'm surprised you can stand much less walk."

Mac threw herself back in the chair. Gates was right.

"What's different about Harm?" Gates asked again.

Mac thought for a long moment. "He is not trying to save me." Mac said softly.

"Oh really … the Hero Rabb … the man that quit his job, spent all his money, and risked his life to find you and save you …"

"A different kind of saving … he is not promising to make my life better … easier … happier … he just wants to share my life with me."

"Is that really different?" Gates asked. She knew the answer, but Mac needed to KNOW it.

"Yes … he doesn't want to fix it." Mac laughed. She would never have believed she could say that about Harm. "I don't want him to fix it … I don't want or expect our life to be perfect, happy, or storybook."

"Does he?"

"I don't think so … no … he knows it will be an up hill battle and he still wants to do it."

"And?"

"And I want to try – with him … I just don't want to bite off more than we can chew."

"Do you have to?"

"No." Mac said tentatively.

"So there is no need to rush it?"

Mac looked up at Gates and smiled. "No, there is no need to rush it."

"So there you go."

Mac nodded. She finally felt better – more hopeful – than she had in a long time. "I am glad you are back in my life."

"Me too."

"I think." Mac smiled. She felt like she had been put through a ringer, but it was good to have someone to hold the mirror up and point out all the flaws in her 'logic.'

**2349 EST – MacKenzie Room **

The Latham 

Mac climbed under the big down quilt. All the lights were out in the room, except the light beside the bed and it was down low. She picked up the phone and dialed.

"Harm? Did I wake you? … I did wake you, I'm sorry. … It was very nice. It was good to catch up." She leaned back into her pillows and pictured herself in his arms. "Gates is fun. … I did not set that meeting up." She laughed. "No, I didn't. How was dinner with Jennifer and Mattie? … Of course I knew. How many sets of women do you have dinner with? … Are you trying to make me jealous? … Of course you could. … Hey, how about I cook you dinner tomorrow night … no, just the two of us … at my apartment … Yeah, I am checking out in the morning. … Yes, it's very good. … I can to cook. …" She laughed as several things he was saying. "… You need to go back to sleep, you are saying silly stuff. … No that is not silly." She got a little serious. "I do too. Good night, Harm. I'll see you in the morning. … Night." She hung up slowly.

Nope, there was no need to rush it.


	8. 8

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Eight

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

**Old Friends - Chapter Eight**

**Are There Are Rocks Ahead? If There Are, We'll All Be Dead.**

1818 EST – Monday 

**Benzinger's**

"Commander Rabb." The waiter called over to him. "I'm sorry, but the order never got placed. We can put it in now and it will be ready in twenty minutes."

Harm checked his watch. He was already running fifteen minutes late. He still needed to run home and get Mattie and be at the school at 2000. "Fine." He growled. "Skip the salmon."

"I'm sorry sir."

Harm nodded. "I'll be in the bar." He turned away. "Eating pretzels for dinner - apparently." He said under his breath.

It was the Monday after Mac's procedure. Things were fine – better than fine – while she was laid up. Harm took care of her, watched over her and was incredibly nice to her but he did not hover. Mac was not the best patient in the world, and Harm seemed to know just the right amount of attention and space to give. They had a few good conversations but most of them were about the past not the future. Mattie and Jennifer were around of course, so that put a damper on our couple from getting too personal, but it was a nice family environment, lots of genuine love and laughing. Mac felt very at home and Harm didn't mind the couch as much as he pretended he did. It was nice.

Since Mac was reporting for duty the next day, she checked herself out of Rabb Recovery Center and went home. Harm had offered to pick up dinner for them before he had to go to the last parent-teacher's conference of the year. He was actually looking forward to talking to Mattie's teachers; she had a marked improvement in the last quarter. But because of the screw up at the restaurant he was going to miss dinner with Mac. This was what happened when the priorities in life collide.

He made a beeline to the bar and called to Joe the bartender. "Bourbon, straight up … make it a double." He thought again. "Wait … belay that order … Iced Tea." He sighed; he was not about to talk to Mattie's teachers with alcohol on his breath. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Memory One. "Mac … I am running late … even more late than that … they didn't put the order in … twenty minutes … no, it is fine, it just means that I can't eat with you. … You will not order pizza. … I'm sorry. … No, it's not, but I am still sorry. … I'll see you in a twenty minutes … fine, twenty-eight minutes." He smiled. She could make him smile at nothing these days; that felt new.

It had been a very tough day at JAG. The admiral has put his foot down with the SecNav the previous week; he was missing too much of the baseball season. He had slipped away – again – with no fanfare. Captain Sebring showed up that morning with no warning. He had been assigned as the interim JAG. The Captain knew all the players and was actually passing out assignments fairly. Of course it was just his first day.

It had finally been announced that Admiral Janet Schnarr was being confirmed as the new JAG. Her most recent assignment was as a PolySci professor at Annapolis. But she had served in various capacities all over Washington and had seen some active duty during the Gulf War; indeed she had held many positions in her long career including a tour at JAG when she was a commander. She was always a lawyer first. No one knew anything about her personally and her reputation was for being a little unorthodox in her approach yet by the book in her decisions. She would be an interesting leader for the JAG family. She should take over the reins in a couple of weeks.

Harm drained his tea and stuffed more pretzels in his mouth.

"May I join you?" A familiar voiced called from behind Harm.

Harm turned so see Gates Madden smiling at him. He swallowed hard. "Dr. G!" He stood and pulled the stool out for her. "We have to stop meeting like this."

"People will say we are in love." She returned, taking the offered stool.

"Are you meeting someone?" He asked.

She smiled. "I met you."

Harm took note of the evasive answer but chose not to comment. "May I buy you a drink?"

"That depends … where's your girlfriend?"

Harm hadn't even thought of Mac as his girlfriend and he certainly wouldn't call her that to anyone else or to her. "She's home, waiting for dinner to be delivered."

"And you are the delivery boy?" She said. "Did they break the mold with you, Rabb?" She said with a fake sincerity.

"Most people think that is a good thing." He nodded to the bartender to take Gates' order.

"Cranberry and Soda." She turned back to Harm. "So how's My Lady Mac doing today?"

"OK, I think. She's moving slowly, but she's a marine." He liked talking about Mac with someone. "I'll probably never know how much pain she is really in."

"Mac is a strong woman." Gates confirmed.

"Strongest woman I have ever met." He agreed.

Gates' face washed with concern and her voice became very serious. "Don't assume that she is unbreakable, Rabb."

"Meaning what?" He asked.

"Meaning that everyone has his or her breaking point." She got a distant look in her eye. "And some people keep going after theirs until it's too late. They can neither save themselves or be saved by anyone else."

The conversation turned and Harm turned with it. "Are you talking about Mac or you?"

Gates looked back at him and tried to read what was behind his eyes. "I wonder." She said softly.

He cocked his head. "Wonder?"

"Are you that perceptive or do you just ask good questions?"

"Doesn't one presuppose the other?" He volleyed back.

"Perception doesn't end with asking the right questions … you need to hear the answers."

"I didn't hear yours." It was no game.

"And you won't … that is an answer in and of itself."

Harm shifted his position uncomfortably and checked his watch. He still had ten minutes. He turned his attention back to Gates. "Gates, is there something you want to say to me?"

"I don't know you well enough to say what I want say." She looked away.

"Pretend that you do." He encouraged.

His confrontational style was new to her and she didn't know if she liked it. She was usually the one who did the confronting. She studied him for a moment before she spoke. "I just got Mac back in my life … I won't lose her again …"

"Is this where you ask what my intentions are?" He offered.

"I know what your intentions are." She stated firmly. "And I can tell that you think you love her very much."

His eyes narrowed in defense. He more than THOUGHT he loved Mac. Who the hell was this woman and what was she accusing him of?

"Don't be casual with her." Gates continued.

"Casual." He restated.

"Don't take her for granted … don't assume that you both see things through the same pair of rose colored glasses."

He smirked. "Rose colored what?" It was absurd to think that either Harm or Mac had washed over the issues in their relationship.

Gates shut him off. "Again, I don't know you, nor do I know what your understanding of Mac really is … How much of that razor sharp perception of yours was turned toward her? Or yourself. Or if you actually listen to the answers."

Harm opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him again.

"Only you and she know that answer to that – and it will always be that way. But just because you have a long and sordid history and your future looks bright … don't be causal with her. Don't believe that the worst is behind you or that you survived so much that you can coast through the rest."

Harm thought of a number of responses. But in the end there was only one thing to say. "Message received, doctor." He no longer liked talking about Mac or his relationship with Gates.

She smiled and shrugged trying to recover some of that playful nature that she normally showed. "You don't like me now." She accused.

"You are woman who speaks her mind." At the moment he didn't like her, but he had to respect her feelings and her relationship with Mac.

"A trait you are familiar with – somewhat less however as it concerns Mac." She turned it back on him.

Ouch … that was a hit. "You don't know me, Gates. From our one conversation, or anything that you have heard from Mac … or anything you may have even heard from Webb or gleaned from my CIA file …"

"I didn't read your file."

"Regardless … you don't know me."

She nodded to his assertion. "I have the benefit of others' perspectives which are colored with their own motivations and I have some chosen facts – but no, I don't know you."

"A lot will happen between me and Mac – not all of it will be good … a lot has already happened … but taking her for granted … treating her casually – your term – isn't even in the realm of possibility."

"Until that changes," she acknowledged. "I'll have to take you at your word."

"Fine." He said but that is not what he wanted to say.

"Commander," the waiter came over with two dinners to go. "This is on us, we apologize for the wait."

Harm didn't want them to buy him dinner and he didn't want the salmon. "That isn't necessary."

"It was totally our fault and you are one of our best customers. Please … allow us." The waiter leaned in. "I put a piece of chocolate cake in there for the colonel, too. Shhh." He walked away to avoid further argument from Harm.

The nice easy night he had planned for himself was fading fast. He turned to his companion. "Do you like salmon, Gates?" He asked abruptly.

"I have been known to eat the pink fish."

"What are you doing for dinner tonight?"

"I'm free."

"Good … join Mac for dinner … on Benzinger's." He raised the bag.

"Alright."

"Good." He stood up. "Do you know where she lives?"

"I'll follow you."

Harm motioned for her to lead the way out of the restaurant.

**1848 EST – Monday**

**MacKenzie Apartment, Georgetown**

Harm knocked and let himself in with the key. He told Mac not to walk around too much but he had little hope of her resting much at home. Gates followed him in.

"Hey, Mac. I brought a surprise for you."

Mac came out of the bedroom. She wasn't moving as slowly as she had been, she was really trying to be well – or at least pretend to be well. "A surprise? …Gates!" She was shocked to see her friend.

"Ran into your boy here at take out … told me that you needed a dinner companion." Gates stepped up to her to hug her hello. "How you feeling there, girlfriend?"

Mac winced a little at the hug. "Great. I'm great. I'm glad you're here."

Harm witnessed the whole thing. "I'll put this in the kitchen." He offered.

"No, no." Gates took the bag from him. "Allow me." She left.

"You ran into her at Benzinger's?" Mac asked.

"Yeah." Harm was still a little unnerved by the conversation with Gates. Somehow he felt that she would lobby against him with Mac. He was not prepared for that kind of interference.

"Harm?"

"Hey, are you going to be OK here by yourself?" He smiled at her. "Your bed is still available at…"

"Harm, I am fine." She replied. "You need to stop sleeping on the couch."

"It is a king sized bed Mac." He smiled slyly at her.

"I am aware of that."

"Big enough for … I don't know … say two?" He grinned.

She took his hand. "Not what the doctor had in mind."

"Probably not, but I don't want to be across town if you need anything."

"I'll be fine. You can stop taking care of me, Harm."

He pulled her to him. "Do I have to?"

She welcomed his embrace without a wince. "Just on this one point."

He was happy; it was nice being easy with her. It felt so much more natural. "Hey, I have to go. I need to pick Mattie up."

"Ok. I'm sorry you missed dinner."

"Yeah, me too." He walked her toward the door. "I should be home some time after 2200, if you are still up."

"I'll be up. I'll give you a call."

"I'd like that."

"I changed the sheets on your bed." She offered.

"Mac … I could have done that."

"And I left you a little something in your fridge." She smiled.

"Well it can't be food … you ate me out of house and home." He smiled. "Between you and Mattie I am not sure who can put more away."

"Go." She pushed him toward the door. "Before you say something you'll regret."

He stopped by the door and looked down into her smiling face. "It was really nice having you, Sarah."

"Thank you."

"I could get used to having you around." He leaned down and kissed her softly. "I want to get used to having you around." He flashed on Gates' warning about taking Mac for granted. He should have phrased that differently.

"You might regret that someday." She warned playfully.

"Not a chance." He kissed her again and called over her shoulder. "Good night Gates."

Gates stepped back into the living room; she had clearly over heard them. "Night, Commander. I'll take care of our lady tonight."

Harm didn't like that, but was forced to accept it. He nodded to her warily. With one final squeeze of Mac's hand he was gone.

"So." Mac turned her attention to Gates. "You ran into him, huh? Are you sure you weren't TRYING to run into him?"

"Now what would make you think something like that?" She laughed.

"Because I told you that Harm was picking up dinner for us at Benzinger's - a restaurant up until 1500 you had no idea existed."

"You might have planted a seed … but I was there to met my number one Ex."

"Who conveniently stood you up. What a surprise." Mac passed her on the way to the dining room. "Isn't you Number One Ex in Detroit?"

"North Dakota." Gates said. "Look MacKAY … I needed to get another feel for him … Our first meeting wasn't enough to give me an idea of what he is made of."

"So you are testing him?

"I'm talking to him."

"With an agenda … you are playing with fire." Mac warned.

"Maybe a little."

"Stop it and wait for a proper invitation to dinner with us."

"I needed to see him alone."

Mac turned to her friend. "Look Gates … I love you … you know I do … having you take in interest in my relationships is different for me … but there is nothing you can tell me about Harm that I don't know."

Gates smiled. "Would it surprise you to know that he was flirting with the bartender?"

Mac laughed. "The day that Harmon Rabb flirts with Joe the bartender is the day I become a nun."

Gates laughed. "Ok, Ok … Can I just say one thing?"

"I couldn't stop you."

"I like him. I really do. He is not afraid of a challenge and he doesn't back down when faced with opposition."

"I could have told you that."

"Sadly … I may have pushed too hard and now he doesn't trust me much. In fact I am not sure he likes me any more."

"He will. When he knows you better. But if you tried to warn about how to behave with me – you just set yourself up for a bit of a battle."

"I guess I did."

"He'll come around … but trust that I know what I am doing."

"If you love him … then I will do my best to make him like me."

"Good." Mac smiled. "Let's eat … I am starving."

Mac went into the kitchen to set up the dinners. Gates was left alone her mind reeling with the news she had heard that day and her meeting with Harm and Mac's statement that she knew what she was doing. It was not Gates' responsibility to protect Mac, and she knew that Mac wouldn't want her to – but the news that she was getting was disturbing and she couldn't figure out how to tell Mac to be careful. There were rocks ahead … more like boulders, and if Harm were not up to the challenge, Mac would have to face them alone – well not alone, Gates would be there. But all this intel was classified and Gates could not – should not reveal it.

"Gates." Mac called from the kitchen. "Are you going to help me with this?"

"Yes." She shook it all away. She would do all that she could to help Mac.

The next two weeks flew by; before our heroes knew it the follow up with the doctor was the following day. It was supposed to have been a slow two weeks filled with lots of time for easy, honest conversations about the future, the past and the present. Harm didn't want to rush the decisions or the discussions but he knew what he wanted and assumed that Mac wanted the same or very similar. The two weeks would have been a nice comfortable time to get used to each other at work and at home and make some plans.

Harm was sent TAD to the Patrick Henry for a several days, which turned into seven. They did keep in contact via e-mail – more newsy than personal and not conducive to discussing the weighty topics on their agenda – but always signed with love. Any real conversations had to wait until he got back. As it was, Harm had to push to get back in town in time. He arrived the night before just in time to send Mattie off to her father's for the weekend, and to peal Jennifer off the ceiling. She believed that Sebring didn't like her and would convince the new JAG to send her back out to sea. Harm finally made it to Mac's apartment sometime around 2030 - 2100.

Harm had a laundry list of topics to discuss. The first one of course was a baby. Should they try immediately or wait. Harm saw no reason to wait. And that was the end of that for him. It wasn't so much that he wanted to have a Rabb child to carry on the family name, he knew from Mattie that he could love any child as if he or she were his own. He did like the idea of seeing Mac pregnant and seeing her through the pregnancy. She would be stunning; he knew it. But the other thought he had was that if she were not able to conceive, then they should start the wheels rolling toward adoption. All he knew for sure was that he wanted to be with Mac and he wanted a family and there was no reason to wait. Of course Harm was not dealing with the stuff that Mac had been dealing with for the past year, so it was easy for him to think that. His past year was spent regaining lost ground and making a home for Mattie not dealing with killing an enemy at close range, failing at another relationship and dealing with that fall out.

The second item on his agenda was their duty stations. If they were going to have a baby together then one of them would need to leave JAG. It made sense for that to be Harm, but on the other hand maybe Mac was ready for some time off. She would need time at the end of her pregnancy and at least for the first few months after the baby was born. So maybe it should be Mac and they could revisit the situation when she was ready to go back to work. Harm had some minor concern that he or she could get transferred out of Washington, but he forced that completely out of his mind. They had come too far to allow something like distance to interfere with them being together. It was a matter of priorities. This time he was sincerely prepared to walk away from the Navy, if that was what it took.

Third, the living arrangements needed to be addressed. Harm was including Mattie in all his thinking even though he was not sure if she was going to stay with him or not. It didn't matter any way; he always wanted to have a room for her no matter what happened. She would always have a place in his life. Mac and he, of course, would live together – they were having a baby. So he would have to continue to look for a house. Neither apartment would do and that two-apartment thing was just silly. He had totally romanticized what his house would be like, which was why it was so difficult to find one he liked.

Finally, they would get married. Harm assumed that was understood. He would ask her and do the whole ring/down-on-one-knee thing, but that was just window dressing. Honestly he didn't care when or where or how then tied the knot, for all intents and purposes, they were a unit for life – at least in his mind.

In the front of his mind, he had allowed for the fact that Mac might have some input on to all of these discussions and he was willing to consider other options, but in the back of his mind it was cut and dried. Again the discussions were just a formality.

2118 EST – Thursday 

**MacKenzie Apartment, Georgetown**

She had held dinner for him – Chinese take out – and they caught up over egg rolls and Moo Shu. It was strange how tentative they were with each other. During the time he was gone they thought of each other often and with joy, but now that he was back, now that they were in the same room with no uniforms and no expectation of interruption, it was as if they didn't know how to be together. They were more than friends, less than lovers with some serious pressure on them to not screw it up. After eight years, the rules had changed and left them both on soft sand.

They eventually got around to talking about how Mac was feeling and the doctor's appointment. Before Harm had a chance to open up his agenda items, Mac shut the whole thing down.

"I think we should go with the doctor's recommendation." She paused.

His face was barely readable.

"You know, go on the pill." She added. "Put off trying to get pregnant … just for six months ... or so."

So she wanted to wait to have a baby. All of Harm's plans hinged on them not waiting, the rug had been pulled out from under him. Harm did, what Harm always did. He got mad, he zinged and he left.

In Harm's defense he was tired, and more than a little stressed. He had been working with Matoni for the last week and wound up losing the case. He was not pleased. The strings he had to pull to get back were more than most people could be expected to pull. Then to find out that Mattie wanted to spend more time with her father and Mac was still keeping him at bay. It was a lot for him, apparently too much – at least for the night.

"Harm? Did you hear me?" She prodded.

Harm looked down and shook his head. "Unbelievable." Harm pushed himself away from the table and went to the living room. "Absolutely unbelievable." This had Gates written all over it, he was sure of it.

"I don't understand." Mac's voice was full of confusion. She just told him that she wanted to wait to have a baby. Did he not hear her? Did he not understand?

He stood a good distance away from her and shook his head. "Unbelievable. What the hell was I thinking …You'll never change."

"Harm I don't -."

"Understand … I know ..." He pushed his hand through his hair. "And you never will."

"Harm?"

"I am the biggest damn fool that ever walked." He shook his head. "Unbelievable."

"STOP SAYING THAT!" She yelled.

"You are doing it again Mac." He accused. "Keeping your options open. Not committing."

"What?" That was NOT what she was doing.

"Keeping me a bay and waiting for … for … for what exactly?"

"That is not why --."

"Maybe you think Webb will come back."

"Stop it."

"Maybe you are expecting someone else to come along."

"Harm Stop."

"Or maybe you are convinced that I will lose interest and are just waiting me out. Testing me."

"Damn it, Harm … stop."

"I am a fool. A blind stupid fool." He turned away from her. "To ever think that we had a chance in holy hell."

"Would you please … just listen to me?"

"I have got to get out of here." He grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Home – I am going home."

"You are walking out on me?" She didn't know what was happening.

He snapped back to look at her. His eyes narrowed. "I can't walk out you Mac I was never in."

"But you are leaving?"

"Leaving? Yeah, I'm leaving … but don't worry, I won't go far." He said sarcastically. "That's the hell of it … you're under my skin and you know it … you call all the shots." He slammed out of the apartment. "I've gotta go."

**2046 EST – Thursday**

Rabb Apartment, North of Union Station 

To calm himself down and let his mind clear, Harm ran. He must have run for miles, he ran for nearly an hour and a half. His anger was gone, but he was still sincerely disappointed, in himself mostly.

She was right, of course. He saw that now. She had been through hell; they had been through hell in the last fourteen months. It only made sense to heal both emotionally and physically and to let their relationship solidify. Adding a baby to that mix, or even adding the stress of trying get pregnant was irresponsible to them as a couple and more importantly to the child.

Harm reviewed his agenda items. It occurred to him that they were in the wrong order. The baby should be the last item not the first. Where to live, where they would work and whether or not they were to get married were all foundations to having a child together. That damn baby deal really tossed him for a loop – he had confused having a baby with being committed. His offer to Mac the night of the Admiral's party was not about a child – per se. It was his way of telling her that he loved her and would always be there for her. The baby was a means to an end, not the end itself. It was Harm who had first complained that he didn't want their relationship to have started out of necessity. Apparently Mac agreed. First comes love, then comes marriage … then comes the baby carriage.

But there was still a nagging point in the back of his mind. Was she really committed to trying to make a relationship work with him? Was this just another way that she had to keep him at arms length? He didn't want to believe it, but he couldn't help himself. He needed to be sure that Mac wanted the relationship to go in the same direction. Through all their conversations she sounded sincere, she sounded like she wanted the same thing; that it was what she had been hoping for – but there was still something that stuck in his craw. Having a baby together would have made a relationship obvious – choosing NOT to have a baby together … well that was a little grayer. That issue would have to be dealt with … later … after he had apologized.

When Harm let himself into his apartment, Mac was already there. He did not have his apology or his talking points at the ready.

"Feel better?" She demanded not really wanting to know.

Her last ninety minutes were not spent in quiet contemplation and reevaluation. Her last ninety minutes were spent forcing herself to believe that they could make a relationship work. She was not concerned that they could talk each other down from this misunderstanding; it was all the future misunderstandings that worried her and the fact that Harm's first reaction to not getting what he wanted was to walk away.

"Hi." He said casually unaffected as he passed her on the way to the refrigerator hoping that his good defense would make a good offence. He grabbed a bottle of water, nearly drained it in one swallow and leaned against the counter with his arms crossed catching his breath. "I'm sorry." He said simply and looked away.

"I am not here for an apology." She scowled at him. "Nor am I here to give one. I am here to get a few things straight." She was adamant.

"Mac – can we do this at another --."

"NO." She nearly screeched at him. "No Harm we can't … we cannot table this, we cannot do this another time, and we cannot pretend that you – COMMANDER GOD ALMIGHT HIMSELF – didn't again accuse me of something that was unfounded, unjustified and down right RUDE."

"Mac." He leaned back and rolled his eyes.

"No Rabb – you will listen to me." She glared at him. "There is one thing I will NEVER – repeat NEVER tolerate from you … are you listening?" She shouted.

"Yes."

"You will NEVER walk out on an argument with me again … do you understand me?" She was fit to be tied.

He was starting to feel his defenses rising to meet the challenge but his head was telling him to stand down. He mind was telling him that he deserved both barrels she was about to unload on him, and he needed to stand there and take it.

"If you ever … and I mean EVER walk out of a fight with me again – ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? If you ever walk out on me again – we are through – finished – end of the line." She ranted. "Do you understand me?"

"Mac."

"Look Rabb, I don't expect that our life will be easy and I don't expect that it will be smooth sailing, but what I will not tolerate is your removing yourself when you don't get your way." She took a breath and pulled out her ammo. "How DARE you tell me that I will never change? How dare you imply – hell you didn't IMPLY it you said it straight out - that I am trying to keep you at bay – for wanting to give us a little time? – six months for God's sake – to get comfortable with US and to define a life together."

"Mac." He loved the fire in her eyes but her rant was having the opposite effect she was hoping for.

"I am not – repeat NOT trying to hedge my bets or test you … I simply want to give us a little time before we add a baby into the mix."

"Mac." He unfolded his arms and stepped closer to her.

"Damn it Harm … I love you … God help me I love you … I have tried to ignore it … I have tried to deny it ... hell I have thrown pretty close to every road block I could muster in our way … but I am still here … don't you think I know how hard this is going to be? … But I am not running … not any more … and I want to commit … what I am unwilling to do is sabotage us right out of the gate … and that is what a baby would do."

"Mac." He took another step closer to her.

"NO." She stepped back. "That night … that night on the Guadalcanal … we talked, we agreed not to presume … we agreed that we would ask questions and listen to the answers and we would not walk away."

"I know." Harm nearly shouted.

"YOU WALKED AWAY!" She shouted.

Harm took a deep breath. "No."

"No?" She was not prepared for him to debate her and not so quietly.

"I did not walk away … I left … I stepped back … I gave us – gave me a little perspective."

"Perspective?" She snorted. "You slammed out of my place like it was on fire."

"And that was wrong." He admitted. "I was wrong."

"Damn straight you were wrong." She was a little off balance that he would agree with her.

He reached for her and was actually able to capture her arms in his hands. "I'm sorry."

"Not good enough." She responded meeting his eye.

"Mac …God help me, I love you too … I have since I can remember … you live in my head, in my dreams – both day and night … it's just that we were so close Mac … so very close … the thought of waiting to … to touch you …to feel you next to me … to know you in the way that I need to know you … to give you all that I need to give you … to hear that you wanted to put that off --- I handled that badly."

Mac was dumb founded. She had really no idea what he was thinking.

"I am a man Mac … I am a human male … what do you expect from me?" He held on to her arms tightly. "I have needs Mac … I have desires … I have so much more to give to you than what you will let me."

It finally dawned on Mac that Harm was still equating the baby and a relationship. His impression had been that by putting the baby on hold she was asking to put their relationship on hold as well. That was the furthest thing from the truth. All of a sudden Mac did not feel anger. She saw the desire in his eyes that she herself felt. They actually did both want the same thing. They both wanted – they both needed to take their relationship to the next level. There was nothing to say to that. There were no words, and no discussion that was needed.

Mac kissed him. She kissed him hard. The shock of it made him let go, but she held him close.

When Harm was able to get his bearing from her attacked – and that was what it felt like – he pushed her back. "Mac?"

"Damn you Harm … we need to stop fighting when we are on the same side."

"Are we?"

Her look softened. "I love you Harm … I want you. I am not testing you or waiting for any one or anything to happen. I want this thing we have to work … but I can't do it alone."

"You are not alone." He kissed her and that also felt like an attack.

"Don't walk out on me again."

"I won't."

His next kiss was more determined and passionate. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. That night would be the night that they took their relationship to the next level and finally put to rest any fears about their mutual desire to try to make a go at something more.

When morning light crept in through the window they were securely wrapped in each other's arms. It had been an intensely intimate night both physically and emotionally for them. Harm appreciated the wisdom of waiting for a baby and Mac was assured that he would not walk out on her. They were on their way. And the surgery was a raging success.


	9. 9

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Nine

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

Old Friends - Chapter Nine 

**Make New Friends, But Keep The Old**

**One Is Silver, And The Other Gold**

Part 1 

**1329 EST – July 4th**

**Roberts' Residence – Annual Fourth of July Bar-B-Que**

Retired Admiral AJ Chegwidden stood alone on the porch of the Roberts home finishing his beer. He had not intended on making an appearance at the party this year, but since his daughter was called to Italy unexpectedly he found himself at home with nothing to do. She would be back in a week and they would resume touring of the baseball parks. He brought an antipasto and a half rack of Carlsberg.

The front yard was full of cars and SUV's of all kinds. From the talking, laughing, music and the smell of burning lighter fluid coming from the back yard, it was clear that the festivities were in full swing. More than a fifty people had arrived to share the holiday with more expected.

"Admiral?" Harriet called through the screen door.

"For the last time, Simms." He bellowed without turning around.

"Another beer for you … AJ?" Harriet asked.

"Aren't you supposed to be taking it easy?"

Harriet opened the door and replaced the empty bottle with a full one. "Yes, sir." She smiled sweetly at him letting him know that his bellowing no longer had an affect on her. She retreated back into the house.

AJ missed working, he missed his people; he missed being in charge. He was frustrated and profoundly unfulfilled in the weeks he had been touring with his daughter. They had few topics in common and on some they were permanently entrenched on opposite sides. He had to admit that his daughter voiced her opinion strongly and without reservation. She must have gotten that from her mother. She wasn't much of a baseball fan, but was really trying to appreciate the game for her father. Sadly, there were long periods of silence as they drove from town to town. It wasn't what he had imagined when he made the plans. Worst of all, Boston was in a slump and the Yankees were not. The first month was a bust.

Harm et al drove up and parked behind Matoni's car. Mac followed immediately after and completed the block. Matoni would have to hunt them both down in order to get out. Matoni was the kind of guy to come late and leave early. AJ watched as Harm and Mac made eye contact and smiled. He had to smile himself. It was the little things he missed. That look between his two favorites – dare he say children – forced him to believe that they had worked it out. 'Good for them.' He nodded and toasted them silently.

Out of Harm's car crawled Jennifer Coates, Mattie, her friend Susan Smithfield and her mother, Rebecca, and Chloe Madison. Gates had ridden with Mac. It was clear that this was a two-car caravan; they didn't just happen to show up at the same time.

Chloe had come down the last week of June and would be headed back to New Hampshire the next day. She was there to see Mac, but since Mac and Harm were a couple it was understood that Chloe and Mattie would need to get along. Luckily it was an instantaneous alliance. They were like old friends an hour after they met. That was good for Harm. Chloe had never completely forgiven him for breaking up Mac's wedding. More accurately she was angry with him for breaking up the wedding and then not marrying her himself. Chloe didn't know all the details, but she would naturally think it was all Harm's fault. Her feelings did soften when she heard that Harm had gone to get Mac somewhere for some reason and lost his job doing it. It sounded romantic to Chloe, but again, she didn't know all the particulars. On this trip, however, Mattie's influence and high opinion of Harm had turned Chloe's disapproval into guarded acceptance. And if Chloe were forced to admit it, Mac seemed really happy, happier than he had in years. She gave Harm credit for that.

All the women converged on the back of the Lexus. Mattie and Chloe grabbed the cooler filled with soft drinks and struggled with it to the back yard protesting that they were young and strong and could handle it. They had to put it down four or five times before they made to the back yard. Susan followed after them with two big shopping bags full of chips, pretzels etc. Jennifer pulled two twelve packs of beer and also made her way to the back yard. She had seen the admiral, but only out of the corner of her eye and decided to greet him later. Mac grabbed the pasta salad she was instructed to bring, Gates the fruit salad and Rebecca the seven layer dip that she was famous for. AJ had no idea who these new females were, but he had every intention of finding out. Harm surveyed the back of his car wondering how badly all of that was going to stain. The only things left were the two watermelons. He didn't attempt to carry both. He pulled one out and was about to close the hatch.

"Rabb." The admiral called stepping up to him. "That is quite a harem you have there."

Harm was surprised to see the admiral. "Yes, sir. I do feel a little out numbered." He shifted the watermelon to his other arm so he could shake the admiral's hand. "How goes retirement?"

"Quiet." He growled. "Deafeningly quiet."

"Your daughter is …"

"Back in Italy at the moment. Some big fashion emergency." He shrugged and pulled the other watermelon from the car. "She'll be back in a week or so."

Harm closed the hatch a little nervous about what he was supposed to say to his ex-CO. "It is good to see you, AJ."

"Sebring tells me that you're behaving." AJ knew that he was still the senior in the relationship and needed to be the one to direct the conversation.

"Doing my best."

"Your best is what always got you into trouble." AJ smiled.

"Yes, sir."

"And got you out of it – ninety nine times out of a hundred."

"Yes, sir."

"Let's put these down, and grab a beer." AJ nodded to the back yard. "And lose the sir, Harm." He said over his shoulder.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

A little while later at the edge of the yard, Harm and AJ watched the women they worked with looking so much more female in their civies than they ever did in uniform. They were laughing and talking looking young and desirable even to their old eyes.

"Mac seems happy." AJ declared.

"She has a beautiful smile." Harm agreed.

"You can't seem to wipe that shit-eating grin off your face either, commander."

Harm's smile broadened. "No, sir."

"Good." AJ nodded. "Good for both of you."

"Thank you."

"It's about damned time." AJ added. "Thanks for not doing it on my watch."

"Sir?"

"Wouldn't have wanted to be the one to separate you two." He said casually. "Of course if I had, you two might have had one of your own by now." He nodded to little Jimmy in Mac's arms.

Harm knew he was trying to be nice.

AJ turned his attention to Gates. "Who's the woman?"

"A very old friend of Mac's, Gates Madden … she is a psychiatrist at the CIA."

AJ snorted. "That has got to be a thankless job."

"I would assume so."

"CIA huh? Can't say I miss that crowd." AJ admitted. "So where is Webb these days?"

Harm froze. He didn't know how to respond. It had not be released that Webb was dead, nor was Harm at liberty to suggest that he may not actually be dead. "Webb?"

"Aw hell if I lost a woman like Mac to a guy like you, I'd get as far away from this berg as I could get too." He slapped Harm on the back. "Come on, you're my partner for Bocce."

Harm was feeling a thaw with the admiral. Maybe now that they weren't commanding officer and subordinate, they could be friends.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Later

Gates Madden made her way to the side of the yard where AJ was standing with a group of people watching Harm and Sturgis take on Matoni and Sebring in volleyball. It was actually pretty funny to watch. Matoni was tripping all over himself to suck up to Sebring. Sebring just wanted to play, which was good, because he had to play twice as hard to make up for Matoni. Harm and Sturgis were barely breaking a sweat. To watch them was like watching a well-choreographed dance. Obviously Harm and Sturgis were winning. In fact they had won the last five games against anyone who wanted to play. They were getting a little cocky. Mike and his roommate were up next; Harm and Sturgis would probably go down in flames.

"Admiral." Gates said to announce herself as she took a position next to him.

"Doc." He smiled back at her.

They had not spoken or been introduced yet, but each had asked questions about the other and had made quite a bit of eye contact during the day.

"Do you play?" AJ asked meaning volleyball.

"Often, but I prefer games that are one-on-one and full contact," she said suggestively. "If I am to be dressed, I would prefer being a spectator."

"Let me guess." He studied her. "Football?"

"I have been known to watch a game or two … but for me baseball is the ultimate game."

"I see." She was stroking him, and he knew it. He liked it.

"Understand you are quite the fan yourself."

"I have been known to watch a game or two." He turned his attention toward her completely.

Gates let a slight curl of the lip show. She liked him; he was going to be fun. "You like to watch up close and personal too, I hear."

"You have heard a lot."

She stepped closer to him. "Do you take that much interest in everything that strikes your fancy?"

"I do like to be involved."

"I can see that about you." She smiled.

AJ gently put his hand out. "We have not formerly been introduced. AJ Chegwidden."

"Gates Madden." She took his had warmly.

"Gates, I have tickets to Oakland at Boston on Tuesday."

"It is a three day series." She corrected.

"I have tickets to all three days." His eyes twinkled.

"Well, then AJ … I suggest you buy me a drink and tell me your life's story."

He offered her his arm and they wandered away, the volleyball game completely forgotten.

**2322 EST – Fourth of July Night**

**Rabb/Johnson/Coates Residence**

Harm brought the cooler filled with leftovers that Harriet sent home into Mattie and Jennifer's apartment. Mattie, Chloe and Susan were spread out all over the floor watching some movie they had seen a hundred times still stuffing their faces with anything that was edible. They were laughing and joking and talking non-stop. It was amazing how much energy they had at that time of night after such a long day. 'Thick as thieves' was the term that described these new friends. They were going to spend the night together at Mattie's apartment.

"You girls going to be OK?" Harm interrupted.

"Harm!" Mattie scolded.

"Alright, alright. I'll be right next door, try not to burn the building down."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Harm." Chloe sneered playfully.

"Thank you for having me, commander." Susan added sweetly.

"Susan, it was a pleasure having you." He smiled that smile that melted girls into puddles. "But please call me Harm."

"Yes, sir."

The girls laughed.

He turned his attention to the two who weren't so in awe of him. "You two could learn a thing or two about resp-."

"Respecting our ELDERS?" Mattie finished.

Harm gave her a wary look, and turned to leave. "Try to get some sleep." He waved them off; he had little influence on women of any kind anymore and particularly not on fifteen-year-old girls.

Back in Harm's apartment, Mac was slumped down in the chair with the wet towels, clothes and blankets still in her lap. She was asleep … or was resting her eyes very soundly. She had dropped Gates off and was there to keep and eye on the girls. Jennifer was invited camping by Mike Roberts and several of his friends. Mac and Harm would be the chaperons to the slumber party. Harm in his apartment and Mac in Jennifer's.

Harm pulled the laundry from her lap and dumped it on the floor and knelt down behind her. She was still wearing the little slip of a sundress that had kept his attention all day. She was so fresh, so vital, so full of life. She was happy. He was hard pressed to see the stoic marine who had been through hell and struggled to maintain control.

That last month or so had been wonderful for Harm and Mac – a honeymoon of sorts. Her health was good. The symptoms of the endometriosis were non-existent – at least for the time being. Their relationship was great. They had enough time for themselves and they were becoming quite the family with Mattie and Jennifer. It was Harm's idea to bring Chloe down for a week. They kept it on the QT at the office, but most of their co-workers either knew or suspected and accepted it. Captain Sebring was still in charge and he didn't acknowledge their relationship if he knew about it. Technically there was nothing in the regs about officers in the same unit dating, but it got sticky if they were assigned to the same case and stickier still if they were assigned as opposing counsel. He opted to keep them apart as much as possible without making any overt policies. For all intents and purposes, Harm and Mac acted as 'just friends' with the people they worked with.

Harm slipped the straps on her dress down to give him free access to her neck and shoulders. He very gently placed both his hands on her shoulders and started to massage the knots in her back and neck with his thumbs. She was not asleep, but she was not fully awake either. She let out a low moan of appreciation.

"I'll give you sixty minutes to stop that." She pressed back into the massage.

"Don't think I have sixty minutes left in me." He whispered letting his lips brush her neck.

"Mmm … too bad, I was just waking up." She smiled and offered her cheek for him to kiss.

He took her up on the offer.

"I had a wonderful time today." She said.

"Me too." He agreed. "Who were all those people?" He yawned.

"Not a clue." She laughed. "But they brought good food."

"Did Gates have a nice time?"

"She did." Mac craned into his rub. "She does love a man in uniform."

"Didn't see any uniforms."

"It is not the uniform she loves, it is the uniform attitude." She tensed slightly as he found and worked out a sore spot. "Ow … Ow … Ow."

"Stop?" He relaxed his hands.

"No. Ow … that feels so good."

He continued. "So did she pick out her next ex-husband?"

"Harm!" She slapped playfully at his hand. "Actually … she liked the admiral."

"Admiral who?" Harm stopped. "Chegwidden? Oh brother."

"I think they would make a cute couple."

"I wouldn't wish that union on either of them."

"You still don't like Gates."

"I like her well enough." He looked down. "And the admiral did notice her."

"He did more than that. They are going to Boston this week to watch a baseball game."

"That old dog … still got some moves left in him." Harm laughed.

"You two were talking for quite some time, did you work out your issues?"

"Nothing to work out … he still thinks of me as a NON-team player totally ruled by my emotion and should be working as stand in on The Crocodile Hunter." He tried to brush it off.

Mac put her hand on his to let him know she heard him and understood his discontent.

"One thing he did say, was that he thought fatherhood had been good for me and he congratulated me on finally getting my head out of my six and working things out with you."

"He wished me 'good luck'," she added. "Said I would need it."

"Ah … he has always loved you best … probably hoped that now that he was retired you two could -."

"Harm!"

"Just calling it like I see it."

"I don't think that's it." She stopped his massage and turned to him. "I think he loves you like the son he never had, and fathers and sons rarely handle disappointments in the other – real or imagined - well."

"I wouldn't know."

"Harm." She scolded him.

He stretched out the kink in his own back.

"Sit down … in front of me." She instructed pulling her legs up so he could sit with his back against the chair. She proceeded to start working on the knots in his neck. "So why did you ignore me all day?" She asked.

"Ignore you? I didn't ignore you." He defended.

"You barely said three words to me at the party."

"Cause you were off flirting with even eligible bachelor there."

"I think not."

"When you weren't, you were dishing with the womenfolk." He teased.

"Dishing?" She pressed as hard as she could into his shoulder.

"Hey." He jumped at the pain.

"We were not dishing, we were talking and if you must know … men was not a topic of conversation."

"Well all I know is that every time I looked over at you, you were laughing about something."

"And you and your ego assumed it was about you?" She leaned down and kissed his cheek.

He turned to her quickly so she would not back away. "No, I thought you were the most beautiful woman on the planet … any planet." He kissed lightly. "And I counted myself lucky to be the only one who knew that."

"You think so, huh?"

"I know so." He kissed her again this time it was not so quick and not so light.

"There are times when you can be very sweet." She smiled. "It is very disconcerting."

"I won't make a habit out of it." He touched her cheek. "Need to keep you guessing."

"You do." She leaned back and continued to work on the knots in his shoulder. "How were the girls when you left them?"

"Who knows? … talking a mile a minute … eating … watching a movie … I can't keep up with them."

"Have you talked to Mattie yet?"

"No." Harm stretched his back a little to give her better access. "Not really, we have talked around it some."

"You need to, the hearing is on Friday."

"I know." He was not shutting down as much as he was thinking of his defense. "The hell of it is, she is doing really well. She is happy and cared for. She is making friends." He turned to her, "Did she show you her report card?"

Mac nodded.

"She got straight A's. That was a first for her, she was so proud of herself." He looked away. "She told me her father never took an interest in her schooling."

"Harm."

"I know, I know." He shook his head. "I will do what ever Mattie wants. If she wants to stay here, then I will fight Tom with everything I have."

"WE" Mac corrected, "We could just talk to him. If Mattie really wants to stay here and see her father on the weekends, then maybe we could work something out for Mattie's benefit."

He nodded. "Sounds like negotiating with an Ex for custody and visitation."

"Harm, you were there for her when she really needed someone."

"Yeah."

"You did a good thing for her, selfless and very generous – we will do what is right."

"I know … whatever Mattie wants." He was done discussing it for the moment.

She leaned down and whispered in his ear. "How about whatever I want?"

He turned slightly to her all of a sudden interested, "What do you want?"

The smile spread across her face slowly and lasciviously.

"Mac?" He was not sure what she was implying but he liked it.

"Do you really want to know what I want?" She got very close to him.

"Tell me." He reached up and undid the clip from her hair.

She shook her hair out and let some of it drape sexily over her face. "I am not sure I can tell you … would need to show you."

"I like the sound of that." He loved the play in her.

She maneuvered herself out of the chair and took him by the hand. He stood and followed. She started to walk toward the bedroom, but quickly turned to the kitchen. She opened the freezer and pulled out a Dole Fruit and Juice bar.

"A popcycle?" He laughed at her. "That is the WHATEVER you want?"

"Not a popcycle." She nibbled at the end in mock innocence. "A Raspberry Fruit-n-Juice bar."

He backed her up so that she was pinned between him and the counter. "You look … so … so …"

"Not tired any more, Hammer?" She toyed and offered him a taste of the bar.

He took a big bite.

"Hey." She protested.

"You revive me, marine." He claimed her with a kiss that she allowed at first, then returned and then ended abruptly.

"Can't get carried away, sailor … we are on watch tonight."

"This could be why they don't like men and women serving together, too easy to get distracted." He tried to kiss her again, but she pushed him away firmly but gently.

"I better go."

"Get, while the getting is good." He leaned against the counter so he could watch her walk away.

"Walk me home?" She looked back over her shoulder when she got to the door.

He couldn't help himself; he was head over heels for her, more with each passing day. "You know, they have names for women like you." He crossed over to her.

"Really?" She raised her eyebrow at him. "And what would those names be?"

"Oh, to name a few …" he opened the door to let her proceed him out. "Smart, sexy, hungry, playful … a tease."

"A Tease?"

He wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her before she could protest, not that she wanted to protest. "Don't ever stop."

Mac opened the door to Mattie's apartment. The TV was blaring, all the lights were on and the girls were sound asleep. Mac looked back at Harm.

He shrugged, closed the door, and took her hand to lead her back down the hall to his apartment.

**1045 EST – Wednesday, July 7th **

**JAG Headquarters**

Unfortunately the honeymoon period for Harm and Mac came to an abrupt end … not an end so much as a bump, then a dip and then silence. It was so easy for a little while, but it wasn't going last or all sunshine and roses.

Mac slammed into Harm's office. "Just what in the hell were you thinking?" She demanded to know.

He looked up trying his best to be disinterested. "Stand down, marine." He stood up. "And close the hatch."

"I just drew the Lankersheim case."

Lankersheim was a commander accused of sexual harassment aboard the USS Patrick Henry. The big deal was that Lankersheim was female pilot and squadron leader. Mac was assigned the defense. Sturgis and Bud had done the JAGman investigation and would be prosecuting. The Article 32 would be held aboard ship and Mac would be gone for at least a week, maybe less, possibly more.

Harm sat back down.

"I leave in two hours." She continued her protest.

Still he waited.

"You recommended me for this." She accused.

"Lankersheim needs the best … you are the best." He said simply but with no smile.

"Don't patronize me, Harm."

"Mac … Lankersheim is getting shafted and she needs somebody to defend her."

"I don't care about Lankersheim, I want to know why you are trying to get rid of me."

"What?" He waved her off. "Don't be ridiculous."

She sat down, but sat forward in her chair. She was not done. "We have something to do this week and you are flat out dismissing me."

"Look … first of all, I don't give the orders around here. Sebring tried to assign the case to me … at Bobbie Latham's request. I recused myself, read the file and suggested that he give it to you." He smiled. "Guess the captain liked my suggestion."

"Harm, the custody hearing is Friday." It was obvious to her and was annoyed that she had to bring it up.

"I know." He looked back down to his desk.

"I want to be there." She stated. "It affects me too."

"Mac, I want you there too, I do. But …"

"But what?"

"Duty calls." He said flippantly.

"It doesn't need to be me, Matoni --."

"Matoni? Are you kidding? Why don't you put the cat in charge of the canary?"

"Then Bud or Sturgis, they don't both need to prosecute." She protested. "Or they can postpone the hearing until we can both be there."

Harm shook his head. "The convening authority is fighting a war and to have a sexual harassment suit brought up is more of a bother than a real crisis. He will want to get it over with quickly and quietly. The fact that it involves his best pilot and squadron leader is also a factor not to mention the amazing amount of political pressure surrounding this case. There will be no postponement. Have you read the file?"

"Briefly."

"She didn't do it, Mac. I know her. She is arrogant, a hot shot, condescending and rude."

"She sounds like any pilot." The shot hit its mark.

Harm rolled his eyes. "AND she is the best damn thing we got in the air."

"And she is a woman."

"You can just imagine how all those boys feel about having a woman their age out fly them and out rank them." He smiled. "I can help you with this, I know the players … it should be me … hell it should be both of us … after the hearing on Friday, I will join you out there."

"I really don't like this Harm." She continued to protest. "We had dinner set up with Tom tomorrow night."

"And I will keep that date." He assured her.

She was seething. She stood up quickly and paced once across the office.

He waited.

Mac set her jaw and asked, "Why is it that you can push your way into my life, convince me that nothing happens to me that doesn't also happen to you and nearly get yourself killed or disbarred or brought up on charges in order to be there for me … but I can't do the same for you?"

He watched her for a moment; he didn't know how to respond. She had a point. If the situation were reversed he would find a way to do both. But as it was, it just didn't make sense for her to stay. It would be easier for Harm to lose Mattie without and audience and he was convinced that he was going to lose her.

"Harm?"

"I don't know." He shook his head and looked away. "I just don't know."

"Harm, we are either a couple or we are not … at that is all there is." The tension in her voice was almost tangible.

He got up and crossed to where she was standing. "We are a couple, Mac." He took her hand and looked out the little window in his door to be sure there was no one standing by. "We're a couple … We're a team, but we are also adults and officers … we have duties and responsibilities and sometimes we have to make a choice … choices we would rather not make."

"You are not talking to Mattie, Harm." She pulled her hand away. "I know all about my duties and my responsibilities."

"Mac, I have not always been there for you … and there will be times when I can't be." He ducked down a little so he could meet her eyes with her own, "But you know that I love you … and being 'there' for each other is not always about geography or timing."

"I have ninety-six minutes." She shook her head and looked away. "I am very unhappy … and I am more unhappy about the role you played. I get the feeling you are relieved that I won't be there."

She nailed it and he had to deflect as best he could. "Mac, don't make more of this than there is."

"Fine." She was not going to be calmed but didn't have time to have the full-blown discussion. "I'll call you from the road."

"OK. I have some ideas about this case I want to share with you."

"Fine." She turned to leave.

"Not a kiss good bye?" He flashed her a smile.

"I am not happy with you at the moment." She stated.

"I know." He tried to look innocent. "But I still want to kiss you good bye."

She shook her head. "I am calling Mattie right now."

"Ok."

"Damn it Rabb." She leaned up and kissed him quickly on the side of his mouth.

"That's it?" He pulled her into an embrace. "I am really sorry you won't be there."

"Yeah." She pulled back and reluctantly kissed him goodbye.


	10. 10

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Ten

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

**Old Friends - Chapter Ten**

Make New Friends, But Keep The Old One Is Silver, And The Other Gold 

**Part 2**

**1818 EST – Wednesday, July 7th **

**Rabb Residence **

**North of Union Station**

Harm was still on the phone ordering pizza when Mattie let herself in.

"Don't forget the anchovies." She said over her shoulder as she made her way to the fridge to grab a soda.

Harm shook his head as she popped open the can. She had been drinking entirely too much soda. "Water?" He suggested.

She shrugged and took a long drink from the can.

He hung up. "Should be here in 45 minutes … where's Coates?" He asked.

"She is bagging on scrabble tonight." She said. "Something about a date with some guy she met camping."

Harm was pleased about that – all except the DATE part. What kind of influence would she have on Mattie now?

"So, Mac was pretty pissed off at you." Mattie flopped down on the couch.

"She told you that?" Harm was surprised that Mac would have said anything about their discussion at all.

"Didn't have to."

"Female intuition … or does your gender have a secret code." He pulled two bottles of water out of the refrigerator.

Mattie picked up Harm's latest copy of some airplane or pilot magazine. "I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you." She said without looking up.

"Ha." He was only slightly amused. "I am glad it is just the two of us tonight." He said replacing her soda with bottled water.

"Harm!" She protested.

"Drink."

"Well at least it isn't milk."

"You should drink more of that too." He scolded.

"How did you get to be Mr. Nutrition?"

"Years of eating and drinking like you and paying for it."

She drank some of the water and made a face. "Boring."

There was a little silence as Mattie flipped through a magazine.

"Mattie … can we finish talking about what is going to happen on Friday?"

She knew it was coming and had hoped that she could keep it light.

"I guess." She quickly snapped out. "Should I go with my bags packed?"

"No, honey." He was taken aback by the sneer in her voice. "It won't be like that."

"Am I going to have to talk to the judge?"

"Yes, you are." He said gently. "I am assuming she will have questions for all of us."

"Is it the same one?" Mattie clearly had a lot of concerns that she had been hiding for a while now.

"I don't know. I don't remember the name of the last judge." He walked over and pulled out the subpoena. "It says here 'Judge Lane Marston' … it could be the same judge or not. I don't know."

"Do I have to wear a dress this time?"

"You should be dressed well enough to show respect to the judge and the court."

"Fine."

"And you should act the same way." He warned.

"I know … I got that the last time."

Harm waited to see if she had more questions. When it appeared that she was done for the moment, he started with his agenda. "Mattie tell me what you want."

"I want the pizza to get her faster." She deflected.

"Mattie."

"OK, Ok … I suppose I should get the hell out of your life and go live with my dad."

"Wait … wait just a second." He sat down across from her.

"Harm it's true. You need your life back." She tossed the magazine down. "You and Mac --."

"Stop." He put his hand up to silence her. "Mac loves you … nearly as much as I do. More than that, she likes you."

"I like her."

"This is not about me or my relationship with Mac." He stated. "This is about you. What do you want?"

"I want this to be easier … kids shouldn't have to choose between parents or guardians."

"I know." He nodded. "It is really unfair to you."

"Gates told me I was lucky." She nervously played with the cap on the water bottle. "I don't feel very lucky."

"Gates? When did you talk to her?"

"At the picnic. I like her, she is honest."

Harm shook his head. He could only imagine what Gates had said to her. "Lucky, huh?"

"Yeah, she said that I should be happy that I had two men fighting over me." Mattie tried to smile but it didn't really work.

Harm was not impressed. "What else did HONEST GATES tell you?"

"She said that when I talk to the judge – to tell her what I want - I should be totally selfish and to hell with what either you or my dad want."

Harm nodded. There was a little bit of logic to that. "What are you thinking Mattie?"

"I don't know …I am torn. I like living here. I like living with Jen and having you just down the hall. I like the school here and I have made some good friends."

"I am still trying to find us a house, Mattie." He reminded her. "Would you still want to stay with me if it was just the two of us in a house and you didn't have your own apartment?"

Mattie paused for a moment. She really liked the independence and security she had. It was almost like it was when she was taking care of herself after her dad had taken off, but better. Now she had a 'sister' and Harm was close but not too close. "Yeah … I guess."

"You guess?"

"Yeah … it would be different, but it would be alright." She looked up at him. "I don't want to go back to Blacksburg."

"Your dad has a job here, doesn't he?" Harm asked. "Why would you move back?"

"His job is not that good and his apartment is really small, he was thinking that we should live in my house cause it would be cheaper and he would try to get his old job back."

"I see." He was a little hurt that they had talked to the point of making plans like that. "So you two have discussed this."

"Not really … more comments thrown out." She defended. "I like how it is now. I see him on the weekends, and we talk. Really talk, like we never did before. I am getting to know him better." She looked up at him. "Trust him."

"Trust him?"

Mattie shrugged. "I trust you."

Harm's heart melted. "How's he doing with his AA?"

"One day at a time." Mattie mocked the AA credo.

"That is sound advice." Harm nodded. "For more than just AA."

"Harm, I don't want to go back to Blacksburg. I want to stay here … with you."

He smiled. "Ok."

"Just like that?"

He laughed. "No, not just like that. Need to convince your dad that staying here is what you want and is best for both of you --." He was thinking ALL OF US.

"Maybe he could move in down stairs." Mattie suggested.

"Please … we have enough of a commune going here as it is."

"I guess."

"And then we need to convince the judge."

"How hard will that be?" She was really asking, she had remembered last time that the judge was pretty rigid until Mac stepped in.

"Well, if we put up a unified front … if the three of us have a plan, then she would more than likely allow it."

There was a knock at the door.

"PIZZA!" Mattie jumped off the couch, grabbed the money sitting on the table and ran to the door.

Harm knew the discussion was pretty much over for the night. Now all he needed to do was figure out how to approach Tom the next day. He really wished Mac were there. She was able to speak to him last time and convince him what was best. He couldn't even call her and ask for advice.

**2348 EST – Wednesday, July 7th **

**Rabb Residence **

**North of Union Station**

Harm was not asleep but he was in bed. He had been staring at the ceiling and thinking about Mattie and Tom and how he was going to handle the next couple of days. He really wanted to talk to Mac. Actually he really wanted her there. For the first time in weeks he actually thought that maybe he wasn't going to lose Mattie. If she wanted to stay, it was a matter of making it happen.

The phone rang and pulled him back to reality.

"Rabb." He said quickly.

"Hi." Said the sweet familiar voice he was hoping to hear.

"Hey!" He leaned back in the pillows. "It is so good to hear your voice even if it is a half a world away. How's it going?"

"I could use your help on this, Harm. These guys have a code that I don't think I can break. You speak their language."

"I have some code breaking to do myself and could use your help here."

"So are you sorry that you recommended me for this job?"

"Mac … please … I didn't … I wasn't trying …" He couldn't find the right words. "Damn it!"

"Hey. I was just kidding. I know you weren't trying to get rid of me." She said. "But it sure felt that way this morning."

"Mac, I will never try to get rid of you."

"You couldn't – even if you tried."

He was stunned by such an admission. "Really?"

"Really … but don't test me." She laughed. "So how did it go with Mattie?"

"She wants to stay with – here." He was going to say 'me' but 'here' was more precise. "She is not ready to move back with him – yet."

"Good. Now you just have to clear that with Tom."

"Got any tips on that score?"

"Be honest and real with him. He is not a stupid man. He must know that Mattie and he are not ready to be a family again." She took a short breath. "In fact he might be relieved that she wants to stay with you for a little while longer."

"I wonder."

"When was that last time you talked to him?"

"Over a month ago … I mean other than 'hellos' and 'goodbyes'."

Harm remembered the last night he talked to Tom. It was the day after the Admiral's dining out, when he was called out to Guadalcanal – after he and Mac had that thing. Tom was nervous about watching out over Mattie, if Harm's recollections of that day were at all accurate, but he had things on his mind other than what Tom was feeling.

"I am going to pick him up early for dinner, so we can talk first." Harm went on.

"That is probably a good idea."

"I am really sorry you won't be here."

"Me too." Her voice got soft. "Listen, I have to go. I am thinking about you."

"Me too." He said. "Thanks for calling."

"Harm?" She called with hope in her voice.

"I love you, too." He heard her and answered her question.

**0730 EST – Thursday, July 8th **

**Rabb Residence **

**North of Union Station**

Harm was nearly dressed, he was planning on getting to work early so he could leave early to meet Tom before dinner.

A knock at the door prevented him from finishing tying his tie.

"Jennifer? Good morning." He stepped back.

"Good morning, sir." She was still not consistent calling him 'Harm' and home and 'commander' at the office.

"Come on in. Coffee?"

"No, thank you." She answered. "Has Mattie left yet?"

"Susan and her mom picked her up about ten minutes ago. Why?"

"Chloe just called for her and really needed to talk to her … I am sure it can wait. I am sorry to bother you, sir." Jennifer started to leave.

"Wait, Jen. Can I talk to you for just a moment?"

"Sure." She looked a little nervous. She knew the hearing was on Friday but was unsure how it would affect her living situation. She actually had suggested to Mattie that she move out and let Tom move it. Mattie nixed that idea in the bud.

"You know about the hearing tomorrow."

"Yes, sir."

"I just want to ask if … well … I guess I need to know something first."

"What is that?" Jennifer had no idea what would come next.

"How is it going for you?"

"Me sir?"

"Yeah, I have placed a lot of trust and responsibility in you … I rely on you quite a bit. More than I have a right to."

"It is fine, sir."

"But you are young and single, do you really want to be roommates with a fifteen year old kid and to live down the hall from me? I mean we get enough of each other at the office. And then there is that … secret that we asked you to keep." He looked genuinely concerned. "It is really not fair to you, Jennifer."

Jennifer sat down on the stool. "I will have some coffee, Harm." She smiled. "If we are going to have this kind of discussion."

"How about a couple of eggs or French toast?" He taunted "World famous Rabb French Toast … I even have fresh strawberries."

Jennifer laughed. "Sounds good, sir."

"Good." Harm went to the kitchen to make them breakfast. "So talk to me."

"Harm, I am very happy with they way things are. I have had roommates my own age … what a nightmare … Mattie is more mature than anyone of them. She is easier to talk with and she cleans up after herself. I like her taste in music, she respects my privacy – as do you – and we get along. She is like a sister to me."

"You don't feel like you are babysitting 24/7?"

"No, not at all. You have been very fair with her setting down rules and she doesn't push the envelope. I don't have to say a thing. She is a good kid." She smiled. "As for my role and responsibility … well … you know it probably is more than what I signed up for … probably more than most people would do … but on the other hand, I am getting a lot out of it."

"How so?" He leaned against the counter to really hear her.

"Harm, you have asked me to be a part of your family … it is quite an honor. I never had a real family before … not like this. Not where people really cared about each other. Between my work at JAG, the JAG family and you and Mattie and now Mac … I have found a home." She smiled nervously worried that she might have said too much.

Harm nodded, he did think of Jennifer as family. "You are family, Jennifer."

"Mattie is like a sister to me. It doesn't feel like I am being taken advantage of."

He really scanned her face to see if she were telling the truth. "Would you tell me if you thought you were?"

"Harm, I owe you a lot … more than you think I do, I know, but please believe me when I tell you … if I thought you were taking me for granted … I would tell you."

He smiled. "OK … I believe you and I will hold you to that."

"Now, sir?" She laughed. "My French toast?"

"Right." He went back to work making breakfast. "Jennifer can I ask you to come with us tomorrow? I am sure that your name will come up and the Judge will want to speak with you."

"Of course sir." She grinned. "I have already asked for the time off."

He nodded. She was a very forward thinking person. He liked that about her. "And tonight … if all goes well with Tom this afternoon, can you join us for dinner or just dessert? If you have other plans, I understand. It is late notice."

"Absolutely." She really felt like she was being included and valued. "Can I say something about Tom, Mr. Johnson, sir?"

Harm put the plate and a fork down in front of her. "Please."

"He is still afraid of Mattie."

"Afraid?"

"He gives her too much power." She took a bite of the toast. "Excellent." She continued. "I know how it is Harm. I have seen it." She laughed a little. "Not that my dad gave me too much power, but he did with my mom. But I have seen it first hand with Mattie and Tom. She is calling all the shots and he is just rolling over … tripping all over himself to do whatever she wants."

Harm nodded. He hadn't really seen that. He had spent very little time with Tom of late and almost no time with Mattie and Tom since they had been talking.

"It is too much for a kid. Too much power. They have lost that father daughter thing … you and Mattie have not. She respects you. She doesn't respect him … she is only really learning to like him. If she goes back with her Dad now, the whole thing will blow up in their faces."

Harm nodded. "I hope that both Tom and the Judge see it that way."

"Me too sir … I would hate for Mattie to lose all she has gained."

"Thank you Jennifer." He refilled her coffee. "Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome." She liked that she was able to give back to him.

"One more thing." He spied her out of the corner of his eye. "About this boyfriend of yours … What is his name? How old is he? What does he do? When do I get to meet him? What are his intentions?" He smiled but he wasn't kidding. He wanted to know about the boyfriend as he related to Mattie, but more so as a protective brother or father to Jennifer.

Jennifer got to feel the over protective Harm and it wasn't so bad. "His name is Jack … he is at the Academy with Mike Roberts …"

**2145 EST – Thursday, July 8th **

**Rabb Residence **

**North of Union Station**

Harm's phone was ringing when he let himself in from driving Tom home. When he picked it up there was no one there. He checked the caller ID and it said 'private number'. He had apparently gotten several calls in the last hour all from private numbers or the same private number.

"Leave a message next time." He dropped the phone back into the cradle.

The discussion before and during dinner with Tom went well. Tom was not relieved about Mattie's decision to stay with Harm. He was actually very hurt. He had worked very hard too over the past six months and particularly over the last month or so. There was a part of him that felt like Harm was stealing his daughter. But after a long discussion about more time spent with Mattie, he began to see the wisdom in the choice. He was not losing his daughter; he was able to really focus on getting his life together for them and they could actually build a better relationship slowly. He also understood about Mattie's schooling and that it would be unwise to have her change schools again after she had worked so hard that year. Which meant that he needed to find a better job, and a better apartment in the same school district. Both of which could be done in the next six months when undoubtedly the judge would want to review the case again. The four of them, Tom, Harm, Mattie and Jennifer felt that they could convince the judge that they were in agreement and it would be best for all concerned.

It was a very stressful evening and more times than he cared to mention he had wished Mac were there as the levelheaded, dispassionate planner that she was.

Harm needed a run. He felt guardedly good about all that had happened that night, but he still needed to let out a little energy. He quickly changed and was out on the street stretching before his phone rang again. He thought he had heard it and even thought it might be Mac but decided that it was probably a wrong number – again. He had talked to Mac before he picked up Tom. She wouldn't be calling again that night.

**0616 EST – Friday, July 9th **

**Dr. Gates Madden's Office**

**CIA Headquarters**

Gates hung up the phone. She was wringing her hands and looking down at an open file on her desk. She checked her e-mail again scanning for something from Mac. Nothing. She tried her home machine to see if she had gotten a voice mail. Nothing.

"WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?" Gates gritted her teeth.

"Dr Madden." Kershaw was standing in her doorway. "What are you doing here so early?"

Gates flipped the file closed. "Working. What are you doing? Wife throw you out again?" She tried to sound casual, but Kershaw wasn't buying it. She was hiding something.

He ignored her comment about his wife, but Gates was not far from the truth. "How was Boston?" He asked.

"Great." She knew it wasn't going to be enough. "Great chowder, great lobster and they swept the series."

"They?"

"Boston … I was there for Red Sox and --."

"Didn't know you were such a baseball fan." He was moving toward her.

"I'm not." She challenged him to ask why she went then.

He didn't. "And what work are you doing at this early hour?"

"I had a page from an agent who needed to talk, thought I would do it from here. So … if you will excuse me." She gestured toward the door.

"Which agent?" He stopped.

She shook her head and grinned at him "Need to know, Kershy."

"Do I need to know?"

"I know my job and I know what my responsibilities are." She glared at him. "If there is something you need to know … I will tell you."

"Just so long as we understand each other, Gates." He was backing out the door.

"We understand each other perfectly, Kersh."

He nodded and left … leaving the door open.

"Snake." She spit. She picked up her cell phone and dialed a new number. Her voice was trembling. "Hi, it's me … I am sorry to wake you … yeah, thanks … I need to speak to you … no, really … nothing like that … actually it is pretty important … there is no one else I can talk to about this … I am not even sure I can trust you, but I have to … I'll see you then. … Thanks." She hung up.

She looked down at the file on her desk. She unlocked her drawer and pulled out another one. She took them both over to the shredder and shredded them. She looked around her office quickly, relocked all her files and left.


	11. 11

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Eleven

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

**Old Friends - Chapter Eleven**

**Make New Friends, But Keep The Old**

**One Is Silver, And The Other Gold**

**Part 3**

**0913 EST – Friday, July 9th **

**Chegwidden Residence**

**McLean, Virginia**

"Thank you, Captain." AJ said into the phone trying to finish the conversation.

Gates was waiting for him to finish but watching him intently. She looked calmer; at least her hands had stopped shaking.

"Yes, Captain." He said sternly. "I need to speak with her. Please have her call me at my home. … The sooner, the better. … No, please don't pull her from court, but as soon as there is a break. It is important, but please don't alarm her. … Thank you." AJ laughed only his heart was really not into it. "Not on your life, Sebring. That desk is yours. When does Admiral Schnarr take command? … None to soon … Thanks again."

He hung up and sat down opposite Gates. "She is fine. She is in court aboard the USS Patrick Henry surrounded by over 5000 sailors … no where safer for her to be." He smiled and took her hand.

"Safe with 5000 sailors … Are you trying to be funny?" Gates smirked.

"She is a marine, she can handle sailors." Mac was and always had been his favorite; that was clear from the pride in his voice.

"This all must sound crazy to you." Gates stated trying to convince herself that it was sheer lunacy.

"No, not crazy." He reassured her. "After too many years to mention, it doesn't surprise me either."

"This doesn't sound like some stupid spy novel?" She got up and walked to the window. "Hell, I work for them and it sounds ridiculous to me."

He nodded. "There is an element of Tom Clancy in your story … albeit the dime store variety." He thought about how he wanted to phrase what he needed to say next. "There is a chance that your intel could be wrong … you have no facts to back it up."

"So says the lawyer." She snapped. "How was I supposed to get facts?"

"You weren't." He shook his head, he wasn't trying to be critical. "You did the right thing."

"Don't patronize me AJ … we don't know each other well enough for that and if we did you would know better." She ran her hands through her hair. "I shouldn't have told you."

He stood up to cross to her, the calming, patronizing tone removed from his voice. "If it involves anyone one of my people, you bet your ass you should have told me."

"They aren't your people any more." She was not impressed with his command tone.

They held a long glare – a showdown, a battle of wills – if you will. She waved him off. "You are probably right … it is probably some strung-out agent that has been out in the cold too long."

"It could be."

"Should have written him a script for Haldol and sent him home to sleep it off."

"Gates … you know that even the wildest speculations and rumors have an element of truth to them."

She wasn't listening. "Maybe Rabb has heard from her."

"We can try him again, but he is in court this morning." He put his hands on her shoulders and squared them to get her to look at him. "Mac is fine. She is in court on a US naval vessel."

"OK … OK … Fine." She pulled away from him.

"She is also a marine … a well trained marine." He added. "She can handle one rogue agent."

"Need I remind you this ROGUE agent is in love with her?" She stabbed back.

"If the intel can be trusted." He said. "It is based one account of one sighting of Clayton Webb … an agent who is listed as dead." He reminded her. "And a lot of unsubstantiated circumstantial rumors."

Gates looked at him seriously for a moment and then burst out laughing. "Look at me … I have finally gone around the deep end and I never spent a day in the field. I am jumping at shadows."

"Gates." He calmed.

"How ironic: the shrink needs a shrink."

**0930 EST **

**Court of Juvenile and Domestic Relations**

**The Honorable Lane Marston Presiding**

In order to show their solidarity, Tom and Harm flanked Mattie at one table. Jennifer sat in the gallery.

The judge – not the same one they had before – had been reading through the file, not speaking or even looking at any of them. The file contained the last report but together by the juvenile court, the latest reports from CPS, Mattie's report cards, letters from three teachers describing the improvement Mattie had shown, a letter from Tom's boss, and one from his sponsor. Harm had gathered all of it together to show the judge just how well they were doing. He had started gathering it weeks ago and honestly felt he was proving to the judge that Mattie should go back with her father. It wasn't until the night Mattie said that she wanted to stay that he chose to put a different slant on the 'evidence.' Now all of that would go to support the idea of keeping things status quo – for a time.

About the time it became really uncomfortable for Harm, Tom and Mattie, the judge finally looked up. She took her glasses off, tossed them down on the bench and threw herself back in the chair.

"For this I am missing Judge Judy." She declared caustically. She looked over at her bailiff and clerk. "Can you tell me why I am here for this?"

The bailiff looked frustrated. The clerk was getting used to seeing her boss in this kind of mood.

Judge Marston turned her attention to our friends. "Anyone?"

Harm, the one most comfortable in front of judges, stood to field that question. "Your honor -."

"It was a rhetorical question, commander." She glared at him. "It is 'commander'? Not 'officer' or just plan 'mister.'"

"Commander is fine, your honor." He felt the knot in his stomach tighten.

She studied him for a moment and was not impress. She picked up her glass and read from the file. "Judge Wallens, God rest her soul, decreed that the minor child would be placed in foster care until such time as the father had proven to the court that he could be responsible." Again she looked to her clerk. "Why was that decree not followed through, I wonder?"

"Your honor --." Again Harm tried to field the question.

"Again, rhetorical - commander." She sneered at him. "I see the addendum that states that Mr. Johnson agreed to allow the child to be in the guardianship of the commander rather than the foster family …" She looked again over to her clerk. "Interesting that a man who can't take care of his own daughter is allowed to decide who can. God Bless the American experiment."

"Your honor -." Harm was restraining himself. This was too important for him to screw up.

"I see that a … Colonel Sarah MacKenzie was a character witness for you commander." She looked up at him and scowled. "Said some very nice things to say about you too." She pulled her glassed down her nose and looked at him over the top of them. "Are you two INVOLVED?"

Harm looked shamed but made no audible response.

The judge shook her head and pushed her glasses back up. "And that this same colonel had spoken on your behalf with the father and the judge." She looked back up at Rabb. "Quite the busy body, wouldn't you say?"

Harm shifted his position and maintained eye contact. He would not let this judge break his resolve or make him angry – at least not that she would notice.

The judge scanned the courtroom. "Where is this … advocate … of yours today, commander?"

Harm waited to be sure it was a real question. It was. "The colonel is TAD --."

"For those of us who never felt the need to put on a uniform, commander, or speak the 'alphabet soup'." She was growing tired of playing with him – and he hadn't even started.

"Colonel MacKenzie is temporarily assigned to the USS Patrick Henry. She is defending a naval officer."

"Felt that this NAVAL OFFICER could defend himself this time?" She raised an eyebrow. "Or did she see the error of her ways?"

Harm held his ground, but this was not going at all well.

His lack of reaction irritated her more. She had to go on the attack. "Since you are standing … let me start with you." The judge continued.

He steeled his spine and waited. He had been up against tough judges before, but this one was clearly not military and played by her own set of rules.

"Just who in the hell are you?" She asked with a great deal of edge to her voice.

He cocked his head as if he couldn't possibly have heard what he just heard.

"I am asking ... who are you? And how did you weasel your way into this family? Do you know them? Are you related? Were you friends before?"

"No, your honor. I am --"

"It says here that you met the child while you were working at Grace Aviation over eight months ago."

"That is true." He swallowed. "Mattie was running the hanger where I stored my plane."

"That was the first time you met?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Explain to me how a commander in the US Navy is out of work for a period of months during war time?"

"That is an unrelated matter, your honor."

"It is not UNRELATED at all, Mr. Rabb." She smiled an annoyingly knowing smile. "It goes to character – as you lawyers are so fond of saying."

Harm fixed her with his eyes. "I resigned my commission because I had a personal emergency that I needed to attend to. In the time I took off, I returned to flying and that is when I took a position at Grace Aviation."

"You are telling me that you resigned your commission in the Navy as a lawyer and a pilot to be a crop duster for a fourteen year old girl?"

"I am saying that the two have nothing to do with each other, other than timing." His ire was up.

"I don't believe that." She stated clearly. "So after your brief stint crop dusting … you get your job back with the Navy." She looked back up at him. "How exactly?"

"Ma'am?"

"How did you get your job back?" She sneered. "Was there an ad for a pilot-come-lawyer in the Navy Times?"

"I was asked back by my commanding officer." There was a lot more to that story that Harm was leaving out.

"You must have one hell of an understand commanding officer." She snorted.

Harm's first thought was that he would rather be standing in front of AJ Chegwidden on his worst day, than this judge on her best.

**0950 EST – Friday, July 9th **

**Chegwidden Residence**

**McLean, Virginia**

AJ was coming in with a fresh pot of coffee when the phone rang. Gates was on her feet.

"Chegwidden … what? … Change of venue? To where? … When? … How long ago? … Captain I know I have no authority to ask this, but I need you to find Colonel MacKenzie immediately. … Turner or Roberts – either would be fine. … Thank you … we will be in the office in an hour." He hung up and looked to Gates.

"What?"

"There is probably nothing wrong … no need for concern. There was a change of venue that the Captain was not made aware of until just a few minutes ago."

"Where?"

"Naples." He said. "She is on the base, there is nothing to be alarmed about."

"Why does that captain need to find her?" Gates was confused.

"Court was let out early … he is not sure why. He believes that Mac may have asked for and was granted a continuance."

Gates grabbed her cell phone and called Mac's. Nothing. She left another message. "Mac, it is Gates, … honey call me as soon as you get this … please." She ended the call. "Oh God … what have I done? I should have told her before."

"Before?"

"I suspected that Webb wasn't really dead back in May … right after Mac was debriefed." She shook her head. "I should have told her."

"There is one thing you have not considered."

"And that is?"

What if Mac knows? What if Webb has been in contact with her?"

She thought for a moment, and rejected his supposition. "She would have told me." She shook her head. "And this thing with Harm happened pretty quickly."

AJ smiled. He had the benefit of history with Harm and Mac and knew that NOTHING happened quickly. In fact it was a very painstaking exercise for everyone in the circle. "Well, Rabb would know if she was or wasn't aware." AJ assured her.

"We need to talk to Rabb." Gates stated on her way out the door.

AJ followed.

**0955 EST (1455 ZULU)**

**Court of Juvenile and Domestic Relations**

**The Honorable Lane Marston Presiding**

"Yes, I would say you have a very understanding commanding officer indeed." She claimed again.

Harm made no reply.

"So you got your job back with the navy and thought you would try fatherhood because … why? … it sounded like fun and what the hell … how badly could you do … her father had abandon her anyway?"

"Your honor-." Tom stood up.

"I will get to you Mr. Johnson." She motioned for him to sit down.

She went on. "So you decided to take the girl with you."

"Ma'am -." Harm was beginning to protest.

"You discovered the minor child living on her own and you thought you were take her home and raise her as your own … kind of like finding a lost puppy on the street."

"No, your honor."

"Tell me, commander, is your interest in this little girl purely … for her welfare."

"Excuse me?" Harm felt the hackles on his neck go up. He needed to remain calm, but she was pushing every button he had.

"A single forty-something-year-old sailor who has never been married, nor been a father, takes in a fifteen year-old-girl into a one bedroom apartment. Some would raise the question that your motives were not all together altruistic or pure."

Harm's eyes flared red. "Do you have a question, your honor?" He was ready to blow at that implication.

The judge just proceeded quickly. "The report from CPS says that the minor child-."

"I have a name." Mattie yelled.

"Lolita?" The judge said under her breath but loud enough for everyone to hear.

"YOUR HONOR!" Harm shouted louder than he wanted to.

The judge waved him off. "The report from CPS says …" She read from the report, rather she mumbled some information that everyone knew.

He turned to Mattie. "Sit down, Mattie," he said softly.

"I have a name," she repeated to Harm.

He nodded and gently motioned for her to taker her seat.

The judge watched the interaction over her glasses without expression. "It says here the child – MATHILDA - is living in an apartment next door to yours with a Petty Officer Jennifer Coates."

Jennifer stood up but did not say anything. Jennifer was all too familiar with that kind of judge from the wrong side. She knew how to hold her tongue and her dignity.

The judge scanned her up and down with scorn in her eyes. "Another one of your strays, commander?"

"No, ma'am." He stated. "Petty Officer Coates and I work together at JAG, she needed a roommate and I asked if she would consider living with Mattie in the two bedroom apartment in my building."

"Why didn't you just find appropriate housing, commander?"

"This arrangement was temporary." He looked over at Tom.

She turned her attention to Tom. "Right … the father … until THE FATHER could get back on his feet."

Tom stood. His nervousness had been growing since this all began. "Yes ma'am … your honor."

"So, father … are you back on your feet?" She demanded.

Tom cleared his throat nervously. His sponsor had told him to just pretend that he was at a meeting, but Tom didn't feel that the judge was going to be as supportive as the members in his AA group. "I have been sober for six months. I am in meetings. I support Mattie going to AlaTeen. We have been talking again."

"Talking again?" She asked. "Were you NOT talking?"

"For a while. But you see --" He tried to explain.

"So you are seeing your daughter?" She interrupted. "The commander is not keeping you from visitation."

Tom looked confused and spoke honestly. "No, ma'am. He has been very instrumental in helping Mattie and me resolve our issues."

"Issues? In my day a trip to the wood shed resolved a myriad of issues." She ran her tongue over her teeth. "Are you working? Can you provide for your daughter? Keep a roof over her head and food on the table?"

"I have been on a job for three months, the pay is not great but I am taking care of by debts slowly. I have an apartment but it is very small and not in Mattie's school district so I am looking again."

"So you want a little more time?" She sniped at him.

"I love my daughter." He blurted out. "I want what is best for her." It was a line he had repeated over and over and over to himself during the night when he couldn't sleep. He had memorized it thinking that the judge would ask how a man could let his daughter go.

"You want what is best for her?" She challenged. "And that is Commander Rabb?"

"No ma'am." He stated clearly. "I mean … yes, for now."

"For now?" She snapped. "How much longer … six months? A year? Hell in two years she will no longer be a minor and can live with the entire seventh fleet if she wants to."

Harm had had enough. "Your honor," Harm stated. "May I speak with you in chambers?"

"No, Mr. Rabb, anything you have to say to me concerns everyone in this room."

He stepped out from behind the table and quickly reformulated what he had been planning on saying. With a deep breath and his best closing remarks tone he said, "Your honor, this was a family in crisis even before the terrible accident that took Mrs. Johnson's life. She was the glue that held them together. With her gone, they were torn apart. They are now well on the way to being happy, healthy and stable. We only ask that the court allow the situation to stay status quo for another … four to six months until both Mattie and Tom are fully prepared to be a family again both emotionally and practically."

"And then what for you commander?" She glared at him. "You will find another lost puppy to nurse back to health?"

"Ma'am, is it your contention that my motives for helping Mattie Grace and Tom Johnson cannot be out of a desire to do something positive for these people with no personal gain?"

"I have had enough from you Mr. Rabb." She finally turned her attention to Mattie. "Mathida Grace Johnson. Please stand."

Mattie stood up. She was seething. Harm was terrified about what she would say. "Yes, ma'am."

"You seem to me to be a spoiled little brat. You run away from you relatives, ignoring the responsibilities of school and the law, I might add – to run the family business. While that might be admirable to some." She glared at Harm. "I find it willful and disobedient. The last time you were brought before this court, the judge ordered you to live in an appropriate foster care, again you were willful – had a whole slew of adults moving heaven and earth just so you could get your way. You have continued your independent ways by convincing the commander to allow you to live in your own apartment. You have dragged yet another adult into the drama by forcing Ms. Coates to take on more responsibility than as roommate."

Mattie was speechless and Harm was really trying to hold back. Speaking now would not be a good thing.

"If I were to order you to either return to your father's custody or to an APPROPRIATE foster care …what would you do?"

Mattie looked at Harm.

"DON'T LOOK TO HIM FOR THE ANSWER!" She shrieked. "What would you do?"

Mattie stood up straight. "First I would ask your honor not to make either of those decisions. I have realized a great deal in the past six months living under Harm's guardianship – in the eight months I have known him. He has guided me and helped me understand things differently. I know I am a kid and I know that I need more time to grow up before I can make decisions for myself. I am in school and doing well – for the first time in my life. I am looking at colleges. I have formed good strong friendships with people my own age and I have reconciled with my father. I hope that one day he and I can be together." She looked to her dad and smiled. She looked back to the judge. "All of this I have to attribute to the love and care of one man, Harmon Rabb. Without him, I don't know where I would be. So I would ask again, that you don't split us up." She took a breath. "However, if it is your decision that my custody should be given back to my father at this time, or that I be turned over to another foster family – I would follow the court's order. I will never lose what I have gained from living with Harm. I hope to keep that and his friendship for the rest of my life."

The judge studied her for a moment. "You will have my decision in an hour." She banged the gavel and removed herself from the bench.

An audible sigh could be heard from everyone in the room including the bailiff and the court clerk.

**1015 EST (1515 ZULU)**

**Somewhere on the Road Between McLean and Falls Church**

AJ was driving. His eyes were fixed on the road but he was clearly formulating a plan. His cell phone rang.

"Chegwidden … Roberts, what the hell is going on? … I need to speak with MacKenzie. … When? … How long ago? … No one has seen her since? … Find her, son. As quickly as you can. … Yes, damn it. … No, Rabb is fine, just find her and have her call me ASAP."

He ended the call and tossed his phone down on the seat.

"WHAT?" Gates could wait no longer.

"She is running."

"Excuse me?"

"The last that anyone had seen of the colonel, she had gone running. That was about forty-five minutes ago."

"What is the problem? … This is the age of communication. There are cell phones and beepers, e-mail and voice-mail … why the hell can none of these get through?"

"Still no reason to be alarmed." He stated.

"No reason NOT to be." She corrected.

He picked up speed and they fell back into an uncomfortable silence.

**1035 EST (1535 ZULU)**

**Court of Juvenile and Domestic Relations**

**The Honorable Lane Marston Presiding**

Harm, Tom, Mattie and Jennifer were sitting together in the hallway not really talking. They were all a little shell-shocked. The bailiff came up to them.

"The judge is returning." He said calmly.

They all stood to reenter the courtroom.

"Commander Rabb, may I have a moment?" The bailiff asked.

Harm nodded to his companions and waited until they were gone before he looked back to the bailiff.

"Judge Marston is really not that bad."

"I will be drafting a complaint." He stated confidently. "Along with an appeal."

"Sir, I would ask you not to do that. Regardless of the outcome."

"Your loyalty is admirable -."

"It is not that. Judge Marston in the past has made some very unorthodox decisions. In the last year or so they have come back to haunt her badly. Eight children that she placed in situations similar to yours – on the surface – have been shown to have been the wrong choice."

"I don't understand." Harm said.

"An example is a mother who was out of work and struggling with drug addiction asked that her nine-year-old and twelve-year-old daughters be allowed to live with a family friend until she could get her life back together. The family friend turned out to be the drug dealer and the daughters were payment of her debt. The girls had been forced into prostitution. The nine-year-old was raped, beaten and killed a month ago. The twelve-year-old is a runaway – we think. There are other – less severe – instances where the judge has ruled a non-traditional custody that have turned out badly as well."

"So she can over compensate now?" Harm shook her head. "Her ruling aside, it is her behavior that is unacceptable. She needs to step down."

"You will do what you have to, I just want you to know there is another side to the Judge."

The bailiff walked off. Harm was sure there were many sides to that judge – none of them should be behind the bench.

Harm took his position next to Mattie as the judge came back in.

"Ok, let's get this over with." Judge Marston started. "Commander Rabb, I can't even begin to count the number of mistakes you have made in trying to help this family. It is amazing to me that you – an officer of the court and of the US Navy – weren't brought up on charges for not reporting to the proper authorities that Mattie was living without adult supervision when you first discovered it. Yes, you did start the process to take over guardianship, but for weeks you let her live on her own. Very irresponsible. Did you think about her safety at all or were you just interested in being the hero? And I won't even get started on the idea of a teenager in her own apartment. That is a recipe for disaster particularly when you factor in the number of days you are away from home with your duties and leaving Mattie with Petty Officer Coates – a woman barely six years older than Mattie." She shook her head. "It is ludicrous. However, it is clear to me your influence over Mattie has been positive. I see that she has matured a lot under your care and that this situation is not as implausible as it sounds on the surface."

She turned her attention to Tom. "Mr. Johnson. Congratulations on you sobriety and your job. I know how difficult this must be to know that because of your drinking your family was torn apart and I applaud your efforts to get it back together. However, letting Commander Rabb shoulder all the responsibility will not cut it any more. You are stable enough to start taking on more. I am ordering joint custody to Tom Johnson and Harmon Rabb. I expect you both to petition the court in less than six months to have full custody returned to Mr. Johnson – or I will see you in six months and demand an explanation. Further I am ordering CPS to make monthly visits to insure that movement is being made toward that end." She nodded to her clerk to make a note of it.

She looked to Mattie. "Now, Miss Grace, you have been given a chance that many children don't get. You seem to have made the most of it so far, please don't let me down."

"I won't." Mattie smiled.

"That is all." The judge banged the gavel and left the courtroom quickly.

Harm and Tom shared a confused look. Mattie wrapped her arms around Harm's waist first and he pulled her tight. Slowly a smile crept over his face and he put his hand out to Tom.

"You OK?" Harm asked.

"Are you?" Tom asked back shaking Harm's hand.

"I think so." Harm replied but what he was thinking was 'Man, I could use a drink.'

Mattie released her hold on Harm and hugged her dad quickly. "So what does this mean?" She asked.

"It means that you will split your time between us." Harm said and he looked to Jennifer. "Jen, you OK?"

"Marston was a pussy cat." She smiled at Mattie. "I have to get back to work. Captain Sebring will be looking for me."

"Thanks for coming Jen." Mattie hugged her.

"You bet kid. See you later." Jennifer left.

Tom looked back at Harm. "Now what?"

"Now we all take a deep breath – and start making some plans. But for now – I suggest the deep breathing."

Tom and Mattie moved toward the door. Harm looked back over his shoulder at the bailiff. He nodded slightly, he was still planning on filing a complaint against Judge Marston, but his plan now was to file it with the judge directly – another day.

**1640 LOCAL NAPLES (1540 ZULU)**

**Running Path through Parco Nazionale Del Vesuvio**

Mac had been running for nearly an hour. The case was not looking good. She needed to find a hole in the story of the accuser. He was lying but could not figure out why or how to prove it. This had to be more than just a simple payback or something vindictive. Mac had thought that it was a love affair that had gone south, but her client denied having had sexual relations with anyone on the boat and naturally denied harassing anyone. If Mac could not figure this out, she would lose and the navy would lose a valuable officer and a good pilot.

She stopped to take a drink out of her water bottle and to look out over the vista. Naples was beautiful – and HOT. Mac liked the heat. She checked her internal clock and knew that Mattie's custody hearing should have finished. She wanted to get back to her room to call Harm. With any luck her battery would have recharged – it had been dead for two days – and she would be able to get a signal, something she could not do aboard ship.

A man stepped from behind a parked car. He was looking right at her. She thought she recognized him but he was still too far away. He was not in uniform so it was probably no one she knew. She started to stretch but kept and eye on the man in the distance. He started to walk toward her. She was on full alert.

"Colonel?" A familiar voice called from behind her.

Mac turned and relaxed. "Bud, what are you doing here?"

"Thank God I found you ma'am." He said limping up to her. "The admiral wants you to call him right away."

"Admiral who?"

"Chegwidden." Bud said as if that were obvious.

"Is something wrong? Is Harm OK?"

"The commander is fine, ma'am."

It all of a sudden occurred to Mac that AJ and Gates had gone to Boston the past few days. "Is Gates OK?"

"I didn't ask." He looked confused. "I didn't know they knew each other."

"Give me your phone, Bud."

Bud did as he was told. "Damn it, I can't get a signal."

"You can call from the base." He told her.

"Right." She handed him back the phone. "I'll see you there." Mac ran back to her car with only her concern for Gates in her head. The man behind the car was completely forgotten.


	12. 12

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Twelve

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

**Old Friends - Chapter Twelve**

**Make New Friends, But Keep The Old**

One Is Silver, And The Other Gold 

**Part 4**

**1709 LOCAL NAPLES (1609 ZULU - 1109 EST)**

**VOQ at Naples**

Mac ended the call. She pushed her hands through her hair and paced the room.

She had just finished talking to the Admiral and Gates. Luckily they had not gotten all the way to JAG HQ; she was able to turn them around. She wasn't alarmed with what Gates had to say – that Webb was alive and looking for her - but then again she felt that Gates still wasn't saying everything she knew, or at least thought she knew. All that was really clear was that Gates was worried, which in and of itself is troublesome. Gates was not a flighty person. There was probably more that Mac needed to know.

She dialed Harm's cell.

Hey beautiful, how are you? His all to cheerful voice came over the line.

"Better now." She breathed a sigh of relief just to hear his voice. "How did it go?" She asked sinking down onto the bed.

Long ugly story, but suffice it to say, we are status quo for a while.

"Good." She sighed. "You are OK?"

Yeah, I'll tell you about it later. I wish you were here. He was thinking that he was grateful she didn't have to deal with that judge but would have loved to have her there to debrief with.

"Me too." She sighed. "Is Mattie OK?"

Fine. She is with Tom.

Now they could move on to the next crisis. "Where are you?"

Her questions and the tone of her voice were beginning to unnerve him. Heading back to JAG. He finally had to ask. What's going on, Mac?

"What is on your plate today?"

Not much, cleared it incase things didn't go well. But now I can go talk to Sebring about joining you.

"You can't do that." She said a little too quickly. Then very cryptically she added. "The news is out."

He was silent for a moment and knew she was trying to tell him something without giving it out over the wires in case someone was listening. He thought it might have something to do with the two of them in which case they would have to address how they were going to continue to work together – or not. He decided to ask a few un-pointed questions and see where it led.

Out to whom?

"The Doc and the Admiral … not sure who else."

It wasn't about them. He thought for a moment. Webb. He has resurfaced?

"Don't have all the information. I need you to speak to the doctor directly."

Are you OK?

"Fine." She didn't sound like she meant it. "On base in Naples."

He asked the next question after a brief pause. How's the trial going? He was thinking about what he needed to do and filling time, he didn't really care about the trial.

"Not well." She knew what he was doing. "I am going to lose if I can't get the Lieutenant to change his story."

Do you still believe that she is innocent?

"Yes."

So you have at least a couple more days there?

"Yes."

I'll see you tonight.

"Harm."

It will be your morning, but I'll be there. Hours away. He took a deep breath. I'll call you, when the plans have been made.

"Ok." She said. "Thank you."

I love you. He ended the call.

"I love you, too."

Mac felt better after talking to Harm. He was there and could get all the information that Gates had and also track down anything else he needed to. It was at times like this that she hated to be away from home, but it was also in times like this when she knew Harm was the only person she could trust. She was grateful to have him in her life. Right then, she needed a hot shower. She checked the lock on her door and wished that she had a weapon.

**1223 EST – Friday, July 9th **

**Chegwidden Residence**

**McLean, Virginia**

Harm had arrived at AJ's house just after AJ and Gates did. He was fairly annoyed with Gates and not impressed that he needed to deal with this with his former CO.

"Why didn't you come to me?" He upbraided her.

"You should learn to answer your phone."

"Messages are usually a way to get through." He chided.

"Messages get missed or ignored."

He shook her off. He was getting nowhere. "Tell me everything you know and everything you think you know … and pretend like I know nothing." He was a little harsh. "And I don't give a rat's ass about doctor patient privilege."

"Rabb." AJ warned.

"Admiral … I need the truth and all of it."

"I don't have the truth, Hammer." Gates snapped. "I have rumor and speculation." She glanced over at AJ. "I deal with people telling me things that they don't want to tell me and aren't cleared to tell anyone. I have to glean what is real from them and I don't always get it right. Not to mention I am usually not trying to glean some elaborate plot, I am usually trying to help them learn to live with the craziness of their lives. So I don't deal in those kind of facts."

He was getting more frustrated. "Tell me what you heard and from who." Harm ordered.

"An agent who had been on a mission had been brought in from the cold – as they say in the spy novels, and I have been working with him for a month or more."

"Who?" Harm asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"Agent X." She glared at him.

He waved for her to continue.

"Agent X was assigned this case with Agent Y and Webb. It went horrible wrong. Supposedly three agents died on the Thomas Lyon's, but he doesn't believe Webb is dead. In fact, he is going pretty far out of his way to prove that Webb is alive. Apparently the higher ups are less than cooperative."

"Why?"

"I don't know, all I can tell you is what he said – what he believes happened and is happening."

Harm nodded for her to continue. "What was their mission supposed to be."

"There were reports of activity coming out of Indonesia that were linked to Sadik Fahd."

She hadn't told AJ this earlier. "Fahd is dead." AJ declared.

"Not according to this agent. According to him, Fahd had sent someone to get Mac out of the country. That is who Mac killed. He failed."

"Apparently." AJ stated.

Harm didn't believe it. "Mac knew him – she was close enough to make tea for the man. She would know if it were Fahd or not."

"You think so?" She challenged.

"I do." He asserted.

"A man who can change his appearance like his underwear that she met for maybe six hours total over nine months before during a very stressful situation. A man who haunted her dreams … you think she could pick him out of a crowd?"

"I do." He nodded. "Mac could."

"You have never seen somebody that you thought looked like someone else? And if that somebody pretended to be that someone else, you didn't let yourself be convinced that it was? Particularly because you wanted it to be."

Harm flashed on his father and Clark Palmer. He shook it off. "You are saying that Mac wanted it to be Fahd?"

"I am saying that if is looks like a duck, and talks like a duck … just means that it's a duck, not THE duck."

"Gates – get to the point." AJ prodded.

"The point is that this agent was told that Fahd was alive – or at least appeared to be alive. Webb, he and another agent were sent to bring him in – alive, if possible."

"And the company didn't feel the need to tell Mac that she killed the wrong man?" Harm asked.

She gave him a look that said, 'would the company tell you the sky was blue if you asked?'

"Fair enough." Harm acknowledged.

"They found someone or two someones – I am not really sure and were transporting them to the Thomas Lyons during a storm. Things got confusing, shots were fired; men fell overboard."

"Three agents were lost." Harm contended.

"Actually it was two agents and one of the people they were bringing in. The other person they were brining in was shot and died later."

AJ looked to Rabb. "That is the prisoner who died on the Guadalcanal?"

"I can only assume so, sir." Harm said.

"May I continue?" Gates needed to get it all out. "And if you can let me finish my story without interruptions you might actually get everything I know."

Harm sat back and waved for her to continue.

"My man thinks the Webb traded identities, faked his death and has gone over the deep end. He is on a mission to find this Fahd will stop at nothing. The latest word is that he will use Mac as bait."

Harm stood up. "Bait?"

"This is what I have been trying to telling you."

"Webb would not that." Harm defended.

"He took her with him to Paraguay – he knew the risks and he took her anyway. He has been gathering information about her – tracking her whereabouts since he has been 'dead' – now that she is out of the country she is more vulnerable. He can get to her."

Harm pulled out his phone and stepped to the side. He called her cell phone. It was not in range. He tried Bud and Turner's … nothing. It must have been his phone. He looked to the admiral.

"I will keep trying."

"Thank you." He looked back a Gates. "Anything else?"

"No."

Harm left without a 'thank you' to Gates.

Gates looked back at AJ. "Is he going to be able do anything about it?"

"If anyone can – Harm will find a way." He stood up. "But he is not doing it alone this time."

**VOQ **

**Naples**

Mac finally got through to Harm. He told her as much as he could about Gates' supposition and suggested that she stay in lock down or only go out with someone she knew. She was frustrated but understood the need to not get that level of sensitive information over the phone. He would be there in several hours. He had convinced Captain Sebring to allow him to go to Naples to assist Mac with the defense. The captain was not fooled by Harm's protestations and only reluctantly gave his authorization.

"He knows doesn't he?" Mac asked referring to their relationship rather than this thing with Webb.

Maybe, I think he also knows that nothing would have prevented me from going.

"Harm, they are going to split us up."

That is the least of my concerns right now, Mac.

"I will be fine. I can take care of myself." She took a breath. "He won't hurt me. He won't put me in danger."

I know that, marine. I just like watching your six. He tried to joke but it did not come out very funny.

"I like you watching it." She smiled. "I will see you later."

You will.

They hung up and Mac paced a little. She thought about getting some work done, but she was too anxious. There was a knock on her door. Her mind still on this new information but not the danger, she opened it.

The man from the park was standing there. She recognized him immediately.

"Oh My God!" She gasped.

**1453 EST **

**Rabb Residence**

**North of Union Station**

Harm needed to run home, pack and be at Andrews in less than 90 minutes. He smiled when he checked his watch the last time. It was actually only 83 minutes. He knew Mac would have known without looking.

He climbed the stairs taking them three at a time, in too much of a hurry to wait for the elevator.

When he approached his apartment he heard music coming from in side. He tried his key, but the door was open. Upon entering he found that there was food cooking, a bottle of wine had been opened with one glass poured, and the water in the bathroom was running. He reached behind his bookshelf and retrieved his weapon. He was on his way toward the bathroom, when the intruder came toward him.

"Rabb." He said stepping past him down the steps.

Harm un-cocked the gun. "Webb."

"Put the gun away, I've been dead." The man continued to the kitchen. "Not as liberating as you might think."

Clay was fresh from the shower and was wearing one of Harm's bathrobes.

"Make yourself at home." He said snidely.

"Don't mind if I do." He picked up the wine glass and took a long sip and made a face. "I must say, Rabb, fatherhood sure had taken a toll on your wine cellar. You used to have better taste."

"If I had known you were coming, I'd have shopped." He stuffed the weapon in the back of his pants and moved to join Clay in the kitchen.

"Next time." Clay pulled out a plate of leftovers out of the oven. "However, I think this is the best lasagna you have made – hell I ate most of it cold."

Harm looked at him – really looked at him – really tried to see him – not with any jealousy or animosity, but as a man … as a friend. He seemed like the same old Clayton Webb. Maybe he was a little thinner, a little more ragged around the edges, grayer, but clear eyed and sharp … sharper than he ever had been in the past. At least that is what Harm thought.

"To what do I owe the honor?" Harm asked taking a glass and pouring himself some wine.

"The honor of a dead man in your home?" He glanced up at him with a mouthful. "Thought I would let you finish the job?"

"I can't kill you Webb – no one can – don't you think I know that by now?"

"Better men than you have tried." He gave him a look. "How's Sarah?"

"Sarah is … moving on nicely." Harm answered coldly.

"Didn't waste anytime, did you?"

"I think eight years was long enough."

"Eight years? Please … you have me to thank you know."

"For dying or coming back?"

"She needed someone and you were the only one left." He dumped the rest of the food on his plate in the garbage. "Good ol' standby Rabb."

Harm held his tongue but he knew that Webb knew he was hitting major buttons.

"Don't worry, I am not going to fight you for her. I'll just wait until you screw it up – and you will – or she comes to her senses and I will be right there waiting with open arms."

"What do you want Webb?" Harm was not going to play with him and not about Mac.

He took another thoughtful drink from his glass and asked him man-to-man. "What do you know?"

"I know that there is a rumor afoot that Sadik Fahd is not dead."

Webb laughed. "That's funny. That is what I heard. We must be hooked into the same network."

"Is it true?"

"Is it true? … Well you can say that I died trying to find out." He laughed again.

"Webb … Sarah is in Naples." Harm used her given name to show Webb that he was close to her.

"I know where she is." He said cockily refilling his glass. "I'm on it."

"On it? What does that mean?"

"Need to know."

"I need to know." Harm stated. "I am on my way there right now."

"That is why I am here, I am going with you."

"Excuse me?"

"I am going with you. You are going to get me on that transport plane."

"Why on earth would I do that?"

"Because you need me … and I need you … and we both want Sarah … we are going to put this Sadik business to bed. Once and for all."

"So he is not dead?"

"Oh no … he's dead. Sarah made sure of that." He grinned. "BAM … right between the eyes." Webb studied Harm for a moment. "She killed him for me – you know." He said proudly. "God she is something else. What a woman. So alive. So passionate. … So … je ne sais pas … I have really missed her … and that little sound she makes when --."

"WEBB!" Harm bellowed to get him back on track. If he were any other man, Harm would have torn him apart with his bear hands, but Webb did know Mac intimately and that was a fact. "What are the three of us going to do to 'put this Sadik business' to bed?"

"Ever hear of the woman scorned, Rabb?" He laughed again. "Hell, I am sure you have left women scorned all over the world."

"I am an amateur compared to you." He lobbed back.

"In my younger days, the love of a good woman has turned me from the dark side."

"What does this have to do with Sadik?"

"Sadik had a wife … actually he had six wives." He shrugged. "Good work if you can get it, huh?"

"And?"

"Well his last wife, Zuleika Fahd, used to be Nancy Ellen Hatfield – Blue Ridge Mountains, West Virginia. She met Sadik in South America and converted to Islam. They were married shortly before Mac and I tied the knot … as it were. They were on their honeymoon when we were on ours." Webb loved digging it to Harm.

"Keep talking, Webb."

"She has taken offense at the killing of her husband. She had plans for him. Well you know what they say, you can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl … she wants retribution – Hatfield and McCoy style. She is aiming that on us."

"Does she know you are not dead?"

"Not yet – at least I don't think so." He stated walking toward the bedroom. "I was working my way up to her, I think one of her men recognized me." He called back from the room. "That is why I am here." He was getting dressed.

"So where is this grieving murderous widow?" Harm turned to clean the kitchen.

"She is waiting for us in Afghanistan."

"Waiting for us? Let her wait."

"She is waiting for now … she will come after us … and it is very personal, however she has no issue with taking out six city blocks just so long as we are at the center of it."

"So, call it in. If you know where she is … call in your spook boys and take her out."

"You don't play this game well, do you Harm?" He shook his head.

"No, and I am not sorry to say that."

"The company is not interested in Fahd's widow or her vendetta. What is one marine, or pilot, or agent, for that matter – more or less – to them. Mac served her purpose and was useful – but they don't owe her – or any of us – anything. They will only act to take Zule out if she becomes a threat to more than just us. I don't want it to get that far."

"You work for these people?" He was disgusted.

Webb stepped back down into the living room. He was wearing one of Harm's uniforms. He was too short and too thin, but it would work. "I have retired."

Harm scanned him up and down and shook his head. "Your choice or theirs?"

"They still think I am dead." He shrugged. "Well they are pretending that I am dead."

"With mother's help?"

"Mother understands that I need to do this … she understands the bonds of love."

Harm studied him for a moment. "Too bad she couldn't pass that on to you … if you loved Sarah at all, you never would have taken her to Paraguay and none of us would be in this mess right now."

"Honestly Rabb … if you had loved her enough to speak up … in the right time, she never would have gone to Paraguay with me. Or – on the other end, if you had didn't feel the need to play HERO this could have all been over a year ago. I say this is all your fault."

"Go to hell."

"That's where I have been that last seven weeks when you were putting the moves on my girlfriend." He snapped back at him.

"What is your plan, Webb?"

"My plan is to go with you to Naples, pick up my girlfriend and the three of us will confront Mrs. Fahd and end this whole thing."

"That's it?"

"I don't know exactly where she is and there is some Intel that she has hooked up with some lieutenant in Al Qeda."

"So Gates was right … you are going to use Mac as bait."

"Not just Mac, you'll be on the hook too." He nodded. "Of course there are a few more people who have your name on the hit list … destroying 100 stinger missiles tends to piss them off … particularly when they can't get their money back."

**VOQ **

**Naples**

There was a knock on her door. Mac opened it.

The man from the park was standing there. She recognized him immediately.

"Oh My God!" She gasped. "Gunny!"

The man before her was Gunnery Sergeant Victor Galindez – albeit worse for the wear.

"Colonel." Was all he was able to eek out. He collapsed into her arms.

Mac helped him to the bed. "Are you injured?"

"No, ma'am." He tried to sit up. "I have barely eaten in three days."

"Gunny, lie down. I'll get you some food." She poured him a glass of water.

"No, ma'am. You need to get out of here. It is not safe." He told her. He did take the offered water.

"Gunny, this is a US Navy base. Where could we possibly be safer?"

"I have a place. I need to get you there."

"Gunny." She protested.

"Ma'am, how much do you know?"

"Are you asking me if I know that Webb is not dead?" She asked. "I know that much."

"There is a lot more." He stood up. "I will tell you on the way."

"Harm is coming here. I can't leave."

"He is coming with Webb. Webb knows where we will be." He explained.

"Webb is with Harm?" She had a sick sensation in her stomach. When Harm and Webb got together they gave knew meaning to the expression 'pissing contest' and now that she was involved with Harm, would she be more than a prize they were fighting over? Dogs with a bone? She shook it off. This was clearly the next hurdle for Harm and Mac to clear. What were the odds? What were the odds that Webb would back away gracefully? What were the odds that Harm had grown up at all? What were the odds that if they lived through it literally – they would still be together? She had her work cut out for her.

"Please, ma'am." Gunny brought her back.

She nodded. "After we get some food into you."

"Yes, ma'am."


	13. 13

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Thirteen

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

**Old Friends - Chapter Thirteen**

**Picking On The Dead Guy**

**1600 EST **

**Andrews Air Force Base**

Harm was driving up to the gate. Webb was beside him. It had been a very quiet ride --- stiff, tense, uncomfortable.

"Don't suppose you have ID." Harm said before they got to the guard.

"A good agent always has of ID."

"A better agent would have a tailor … they will never believe that is your uniform."

Webb looked down at the loose shirt and baggy pants at least three inches too long (the cuffing and stapling did not help). "I guess I lost more weight than I thought."

"Webb … let's face it … you're a small man … you have always been a small man."

"Sarah didn't seem to mind." He jibbed.

Harm glanced over at Webb, reached over and ripped the wings off the uniform. He could barely tolerate Webb using the title of commander; he would not let him play a pilot. "Commander what?" Harm asked.

"Webster, Phoenix Webster." Webb stated proudly.

"Oh, you are too cute for words." He said rolling his eyes.

"Sarah thought so too." He coyed.

Harm pulled the car over roughly and turned to Webb. "We need to get one thing straight little man." He declared. "My only interest in this is to get Mac home safely. Got me? Whether you live or die is the least of my concerns. I'll shoot you myself if that is the only way to get her home."

"Nice to know you'll have my back."

"You have no idea what has transpired in the past seven weeks, but believe me when I say … nothing is as you left it. So if you want to continue poking at me, go right ahead, but beware when the Hammer falls, because when it does, it will be on your head, and you will only have yourself to blame."

"I knew that green eyed monster of yours wasn't dead and gone."

"Trust me Webb … I have enough disdain for you with or without my relationship with Mac factored in. You took a friend of mine into mortal danger and you nearly got her killed … worse than killed. You made her live in a hell that no one should ever have to know. For that, you have my scorn … for life. You are irresponsible, reckless and dangerous and I have saved your ass for the last time. You have no business running an operation by yourself, much less with other people's lives on the line. I don't trust you. I don't like you. I won't turn my back on you. You won't take advantage of Sarah again."

"And here I thought we would get closer since we have so much in common." The mock sincerity dripped off his tongue. "Shared experiences an all."

Harm grabbed Webb by the collar and pushed him back against the window. The fire flared in his eyes. "Show some respect, Webb. Show some humility. You owe her more than that. She cared about you when no one else did. She actually gave a shit whether or not you lived or died."

Webb did not respond. He was thinking that she must not have cared that much if she picked up with Rabb as soon as he was gone.

"So we understand each other?" Harm asked.

Webb nodded.

Harm released him and continued the drive up to the gate. They were waved through without incident.

- - - - - -

At the hanger there was some trouble. They were being told that there was only authorization for Rabb.

"Last minute change, Lieutenant." Harm stated. "Commander Webster is providing expert testimony. I am sure you can find room. He can sit on the floor… or be stowed with the cargo." Harm smiled.

"Let me check, sir." The Lieutenant retreated.

"What is the case?" Webb asked.

"Sexual Harassment." Harm looked back Webb ready to add some snide remark, but snapped to attention.

Webb turned to see Admiral AJ Chegwidden approaching.

AJ shook his head and glared at Webb. "You will salute a ranking officer, commander?" He bellowed.

Webb reluctantly came to a form of attention and a really weak version of a salute.

AJ returned the salute. "At ease. Commander Rabb, who do we have here?"

"Sir, Commander Phoenix Webster." Harm explained. "He will be accompanying me to Naples, sir. He has vital information about this case."

"I'll just bet he does." The admiral said caustically.

"Although he has not been authorized for the flight, sir." Harm continued.

The lieutenant rejoined the group but waited at attention until the admiral released him. "At ease, Lieutenant. One more for the flight." He dropped his bag on the tarmac.

"Yes sir." There was no arguing about an admiral getting on the plane (even a technically retired one), but the transport was full. It was just a matter of who would get left behind.

"And I am sure that you will have no problem getting Commander Webster a seat either." The admiral confirmed.

"No, sir." The kid looked away. "No problem at all."

"Good, dismissed."

The young lieutenant walked away.

AJ turned his attention back to Webb. "What the hell have you gotten my people into this time Webb?" He demanded.

"Need to know, AJ." Clay loved shoving his classified status in AJ's face.

AJ shoved it back. "As long as you where that uniform, sailor, you will address me as 'admiral' or 'sir'. You got that?"

Webb came to a relaxed attention and rolled his eyes. "Sir."

"Look at you … you look like a kid playing dress up. You disgrace all the fine men and women who wear that uniform and defend this country with honor, dignity and integrity. You say that you are working on our side, but clearly your only loyalty is to yourself. I have let you and your hair-brained schemes screw with my people for the last time. When this is over Webb, if you are still alive – you and I are going to come to an understanding? You got me?"

"Yes sir." Webb felt his spine tighten under AJ's wrath. He was being asked to 'understand' and 'get' a lot. Being dead apparently didn't get a person any breaks with this crowd.

"Good." AJ turned to leave.

"Excuse me, SIR." Webb said with as much mock respect as he could muster. "I was under the impression that you had retired."

AJ turned and got nose-to-nose with Webb. "I was under the impression that you were dead. Both impressions can be true. Do you want to pursue it?"

"No." Webb said softly. Then followed with "sir."

"Sir?" Harm said not attempting to hide his amusement. "They are boarding us."

AJ took one final look at Webb, grabbed his bag and went to board the plane.

Webb looked at Rabb. "How the hell did he get into this?"

"Admiral's privilege." Harm smiled. "Should have picked a higher rank for yourself."

"Next time I will."

"Still not paying attention COMMANDER – there will be no NEXT TIME." He clapped Clay on the shoulder roughly and followed along after AJ.

Webb watched after them for a moment. "It was a hell of a lot easier when I was dead."

**2318 LOCAL**

**Safe House **

**Town Outside of Naples**

Mac had stowed her gear in one of the upstairs bedrooms. Vic was standing on the porch looking out into the night. She joined him.

"I can take first watch, Gunny." She stated. "You need to get some rest."

"No watch, ma'am. We are safe here." He stated. "I was just thinking."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She sat down on the top step.

He took a few steps down and leaned on the rail. "I was just thinking back to my JAG days." He smiled at her. "Must be seeing you again, ma'am."

"Gunny, please … call me Mac."

"Yes ma'am." He smiled. For all his undercover work, he was still a marine and she was still a ranking officer.

"Can I say something?" Mac asked.

"Certainly." He looked back at her.

"You did some fine work, some really fine work at JAG. And you are sorely missed, but JAG was not going to offer you the challenge you needed."

He nodded. "It was a lot easier life. Regular – you know … 0900 to 1700 -- Actually thought about getting married, raising a family. Even thought I had the girl picked out."

Mac understood. His life after JAG as a marine during wartime and now TAD as an operative for the CIA was not conducive to home and family. "What happened to her?"

"We were never that close. Only dated a few times before I left for Afghanistan. We exchanged a few letters. I understand she is married now … to a banker or an accountant, I think." The words 'banker' or 'accountant' would normally fall off his lips with contempt. This time, however, he envied these types of men their normal lives.

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

He shook his head. "Nah, I am not the home and family type. Would have gotten bored." He was saying it to convince himself, the same words he told himself often in the dark of night.

"You will make a wonderful husband and father – when the time comes, Victor."

"Thank you, ma'am." He wondered if he should broach the next subject. "I understand you and Webb have been spending a lot of time together."

"We were." She stated. "Until he was killed."

Vic laughed. "Well the will put a damper on a relationship, won't it ma'am."

"Yes, it does." She got a distant look in her eyes.

They were silent for a moment. Gunny was thinking about how much he disliked her choice of Webb. They had been working together since January. Gunny did not like what he knew; he didn't like all that he was privy to since Paraguay. "Forgive me for saying this ma'am, but Webb didn't need to go back out into the field."

"What?" She asked.

"They were going to give him a desk job after … ." He waited for her to say something, she didn't. "He is doing this because he is trying to make up for Paraguay."

"Make up for Paraguay?" She asked.

"Yes, ma'am. That whole damn thing was his fault." Gunny was immediately sorry he spoke when he heard the words in his mouth.

"How do you mean?" She prodded.

"It is not really my place to say, ma'am."

"Gunny … please … tell me what you were going to say."

Gunny thought for a long moment. He studied Mac and decided that she had a right to know what he knew. "He pushed that mission harder than he should have."

"How so?"

"He didn't know who to trust. He knew who not to trust and he trusted them anyway. He was trying to make a big score fast so he could get back in the good graces of Kershaw and the rest. He put the entire mission and his people – including you ma'am, in danger. It was 100 Webb's fault – so now he is trying to make up for it. That is what got him killed this time too …" Gunny realized how silly that sounded. "You know what I mean, ma'am."

Mac nodded. It had never occurred to her before to assign blame other than to Sadik Fahd for what had happened.

"Ma'am, if it were not for Commander Rabb and you destroying those missiles, Webb would have been fired. That one act alone saved the mission and his job."

"Gunny, he was tortured for information." She stated. "He has suffered enough."

"Tortured for information that he did not have, endangering you and the rest of us all to save his … all by his own doing." He realized that he had said too much. His disgust of Webb's motives was clear. "I am sorry, ma'am. It is not my place to say."

"Of course it is Gunny, your life was – and is – on the line just like the rest of ours."

"And has been for the past six months."

"Six months?"

"Yes, ma'am. I have been assigned to Webb since January. We had intel about Fahd and were following it up. When you killed him, we were in Syria. It shocked the hell out of us that he was in the US. Webb's intel was bad –

again. He did not know who to trust and trusted the wrong people. One more time that it nearly got you killed, ma'am."

"Can we really blame Webb for that?"

Gunny looked away. Clearly he did. After a moment he continued. "We thought it was over, but this other thing came up with the wife."

"Tell me about her." Mac asked. "Tell me everything I need to know."

Gunny felt the weight lift. Mac understood all that he had told her and would process it in her own time in her own way. Gunny had done what he should have – he given her the facts (as he saw them) and let her draw her own conclusions. Now he had to give her the rest. "Her name is Nancy Ellen Hatfield and we believe that she is working with the Red Cross but getting information back to al-Qaida."

"That is treason." Mac stated.

"Yes, ma'am." He nodded. "And when I find that bitch, I will tell her just that as I drag her back to the US for trial." His intense hatred for the woman was clear with every tensed muscle on his face. Gunny was still more cop/marine than he ever would be CIA. "She has been responsible for the death of many good marines."

"Have you met her?" Mac asked.

"I let her slip through my fingers a week ago. One thing she picked up from Fahd was the ability to change her appearance." He shook his head. "And she has more names than Webb."

30,000' Somewhere over the Atlantic

Shortly after the plane took off AJ quizzed Harm on the changes that occurred since their last conversation, namely:

"What the HELL is Webb doing here?"

"I found him in my apartment, sir."

"And you gave him a uniform?"

"Not my idea, sir."

"Don't you have an opinion about this? Don't you have a plan?" AJ was getting frustrated. Rabb a man who is always ready with an action seemed very passive in the face of his rival.

"Sir, my plan is get Colonel MacKenzie and me … and now you … home safely. Any thing else is all Webb's and if he fell off the face of the planet, I wouldn't lose any sleep." Harm glared at Webb who luckily could not hear them. "No disrespect sir, but he is one man I would leave behind."

AJ shook his head. "What do I need to know about the two of you?" He asked.

"Sir?"

"Can you two work together?"

"Yes sir." Harm said slowly.

"Look, I am in this – whether any of you want me involved or not. I am not a CO and I am not even official." He looked around to be sure no one heard him. "Tell me what I need to know."

"Can I ask why you are involved, sir?"

AJ took a deep breath. This was the part he wanted to avoid. This was his admission of guilt and culpability in the events of the past year whether it was by his choice or not – it was on his watch. It would be easier to admit this now that he was no longer JAG, but it would have been nicer still if he never had to say a word.

"Look, Rabb, I made a mistake." He laughed. "Hell I have made many mistakes. But this time I never should have allowed this … bullshit to start." He took a breath. "And it seems to be continuing to snowball all to hell. It has to be stopped."

"Sir?" Harm was confused.

AJ looked down and said very softly. "I never should have let her go on the mission with Webb." He looked back up at Rabb. "I was well within my rights to refuse the request from the CIA – and it was my responsibility as her CO to refuse. I knew damn well that Webb could have found any one of a dozen women to go in her stead."

"Why didn't you?" Harm was honestly asking, he wasn't trying to be mean or spiteful, he really wanted to know.

"I don't know. I could say it was orders from the top … but I have denied those before." He wiped his hands across his face. "I don't know … You were just coming back after that Singer business … Maybe I thought it was a good idea that Mac get out of the office for a while." He laughed to him self and dropped his eyes. "I should have gotten out of the office for a while." He looked back at Harm. "But she never should have been put in that position."

"The colonel understood the risks." Harm stated.

"I didn't understand the risks!" AJ said a little to harshly. "Or didn't want to. When you came to me and requested to go down after her, I still didn't understand the risks. Thought it was some sort of pissing contest between you and Webb."

It had never occurred to Harm that AJ wasn't plugged in. It never occurred to him, that maybe the admiral did not know what was best. Even when Harm disagreed with him, there was always something in the back of his mind that said the admiral had everything under control. What if he didn't?

There was so much fallout from AJ's decision to let Mac go. If he authorized Harm to go down after her, he would be admitting that he made a mistake. If he took Harm back after he quit, he would be admitting another mistake. Asking Harm to come back, after so many months, was too little too late -- the damage was done in the office. He had shaken the confidence of his people. Then that mess with Meredith rocked him to the core. He was just not doing what he was supposed to be doing. Harm did not ask for assistance with Mattie. Mac could not turn to him when Sadik Fahd came back, nor could she trust him to help her through the aftermath of that event. His staff – all his staff – had always trusted him to be fair and impartial, a compassionate leader and above all – a friend who had their back. He had failed them. He failed himself. At least that is how he saw it.

AJ looked away from Harm. "Should have retired a year ago." He said under his breath. "Letting other people make decisions for me, not following my gut … not seeing what was right in front of me." He shook his head and shook it off. "Well not this sailor … not any more." He found his command presence again and looked back to Harm. "So tell me what I need to know. Are you and Webb vying for Mac's attentions? Am I going to have to keep you two from killing each other? Or can this be resolved with a minimum of ego?"

Harm thought that those were very good questions; he wished he had good answers.

**0425 LOCAL**

**Safe House **

**Town Outside of Naples**

AJ, Webb and Harm drove up the long drive to the house that Gunny had secured. He was waiting at the edge of the yard for them; Mac was in the house. Greetings were exchanged and updates were discussed. Harm saw Webb slip away into the house in search of Sarah. That is exactly what he would have been doing, but he just couldn't bring himself to witness their reunion.

Inside

Mac was up and dressing when Webb stepped into her room.

"Hi." He said softly.

She turned with a start; she had heard them drive up but did not hear anyone come back into the house. "Hi." She noticed the uniform. "What are you wearing?"

"Don't start." He warned playfully. Webb stepped up and pulled her into an embrace. Mac returned it. "It is so good to see you, Sarah." He whispered. "To hold you."

"You're alive." Tears fell from her eyes. "You're really alive."

"I told you everything would be fine." He whispered in her ear.

Mac tensed and pulled back. "No, actually you said that you would be safe." She stepped back away from him. "You said you were going to Germany and would be safe."

"Sarah."

"You lied to me, Clay." She said evenly.

"I couldn't tell you where I was going." He defended.

"You couldn't tell me that there were reports that Sadik Fahd may not actually be dead, and that you were tasked to go after him?"

He shook his head. She knew too much. "Sarah."

"You couldn't tell me that my life may be in danger? Harm's life?"

"It wasn't, I was making sure of that." He reached for her hand.

She pulled it away. "But you didn't trust me enough to let me know."

"You had been through so much already." He explained. "I didn't want you to worry."

"No, I wasn't worried," sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "I wasn't worried when you had your secretary send me presents in your name from a place you weren't."

"Sarah." He tried to protest.

"I wasn't worried when those gifts stopped coming."

"But you have to--."

"I wasn't worried when I had to go to her myself, discover the fraud and get the information out of her that you were dead."

"I didn't --."

"I wasn't worried when I was dragged down to Langley and debriefed for ten hours about what I knew about your mission and had my house searched and 'cleaned' and purged of everything that you ever touched."

"I couldn't tell you." He defended.

"I wasn't worried when I got an e-mail from a dead man saying that he was feeling much better and then nothing for more than six weeks." She fixed him with a withering stare. "None of that would make anyone worry."

"I'm sorry." He stated. "I should have told you."

"Damn right you should have told me." She ran her hands through her hair.

"Sarah, I am sorry. I made a mistake." He got close to her. "We can work this out."

She snapped back to look him in the eyes. "There is nothing to work out, Clay."

He smirked. "Make one mistake and it's 'So long Webb'?"

"Clay, you and I were at the start of something … working toward something." She said after a moment. "We had been through hell and were trying to make some sense of it … make it real. But what we were going to be to each other … what we could have been … I don't know. We'll never know."

"It can be whatever we want it to be, Sarah." He again tried to pull her to him but she pushed him back.

"I don't think so." She smiled at him softly. "Clay I love you, I do. But I can't get past the lies … I can't get past your life."

He looked down. It was the only life he knew.

"I want so much for myself, Clay." She added sadly. "You can't give it to me."

"I would like to try."

"You did try. We tried. It didn't work."

"Sarah these are extraordinary times."

"That is where you live, Clay. In the extraordinary."

"Sarah." He entreated.

She pulled out the heavy guns. "I can't be a spy's wife. I can't have children with a man who may or may not come home. I can't trust someone with my heart who I know is lying to me – for the right reasons or the wrong reasons." She reached out to touch his face. "And I want that, Clay. I want to be a wife and a mother … I want to trust with my heart the man I choose to make a life with."

"You can trust me Sarah." He pleaded. "You just have to have faith."

"No Clay, I can't." Her face washed with sadness. "We would have figured that out sooner or later … it just came sooner."

"But Rabb?" He said with as much disgust as he could muster. "You can trust Rabb? After all this time, you think you can trust him? After everything he has put you through?"

She felt a stab. Clay could be caustic and vicious at times. She had forgotten that. She remained true and didn't let him bait her into a debate. "Clay you know how I feel about Harm. You have always known." She added softly. "He was always there between us."

Webb looked down. She was right. Rabb always was there between them, even in bed. Clay had asked her once what she wanted from him, and her reply was to be there when she needed him. That wasn't enough for him and it was next to impossible to promise. He wondered what she wanted from Rabb. Somehow he knew the answer was more than to be there in her need.

He looked up at her. "Are you happy, Sarah?" He asked.

"I am."

He nodded slowly. "Then I will be happy for you too." He smiled. "Not you TWO … for you as well."

She smiled at him and pulled him into an embrace. "Thank you, Clay."

He nodded and released her. It was not as hard to do as he imagined it would be.

Harm was walking near the edge of the yard by himself. He told AJ and Gunny that he needed to get his head into the case; he had court in less than five hours. But that was not the truth.

It had been sometime since Webb had gone into the house and Harm was becoming concerned about what was going on. He was trying to reassure himself that what he and Mac had could survive this next hurdle, but there was a part of him that was terrified that it couldn't. What would the reality of the man – alive and relatively well – do to Mac? Would she realize that she really loved him in a way that she didn't love Harm? Would she come to him and say that she needed to finish with Webb or try to make it work and apologize for getting involved with him so quickly? Or maybe she would come to him and say she was confused and needed to step back for a while. Could he live with that uncertainty?

"Hey." Mac's voice came from beside him.

He turned to her. "Hey." He was searching her eyes for a sign, any sign.

"You look tired." She reached up to touch his face.

At her touch he went weak kneed. He took her hand in his and leaned back onto the fence. "I am. Didn't sleep much on the plane."

She smiled at him and nodded back to the house. "Refereeing the admiral and Webb?"

"No, pretty much enjoyed the fight." He gave her a weak smile.

"How is Mattie?" She asked pretending that this was a normal conversation.

"She is fine." He stated. "She's with Tom and they are going to spend some time together."

"You are OK with that?"

"Yeah … she needs him and he needs her in ways that I can't be a part of." He wasn't thinking about Tom and Mattie.

"It will take both of them to heal."

He nodded. Had Mac healed? Did she still need Webb to make sense of the events that were still coming at them or was she really ready to move on? They were silent for a moment, which gave Harm too much time to think. "So how's Webb?" He said caustically letting her hand go.

"Looking pretty good for a man who has been dead for seven weeks." She offered casually.

"Should have stayed dead." He looked up to the upstairs window. "That man could screw up boiling water. What do you see in that guy?"

"Harm." She tried to correct him. "He has different priorities … different goals."

"He is a little man, Mac with a little man's problems. He is arrogant and rude, caustic and snide."

"The same could be said about you." She commented. "At times."

"Maybe … but I have my priorities straight … and always have when it comes to life and death." He was scared to add the next part, it left him open to be shot down. "… And the woman I love."

"Harm please, don't go there." She knew he was berating Webb, but his statement about himself was not exactly correct.

"Fine." He looked away. "Defend him if you must … but not to me."

"I am not defending him." She paused. "Alright I am, but … doesn't matter any more." She caught his eye. "Everything is Ok."

"Is it?" He looked up at the house again. "Is it OK? Tell me how it's … OK."

"Well for one thing, you are here with me." She said softly stepping closer to him. After a moment she added, "I missed you."

He looked down into her soft brown eyes; he took her hand and turned over in his. "I missed you, too."

"Harm?" She saw apprehension in his eyes. "Harm, I love you." She stated clearly.

He nodded. Was there a 'but' coming?

"I told Webb that too." She added. "I told him that we were happy."

He was still unsure.

"We are happy, aren't we?" She asked.

He reached out to cup her face and look deeply in to her eyes. He saw love there. The kind of love he needed to see. "Yes." He said with that same unequivocal manner he had developed over the past few months.

She smiled. She was beginning to really appreciate his direct one-word answers. "Then tell me you love me and kiss me 'hello', sailor." She ordered.

She still wanted him. He felt it. Webb would not be a factor. Harm did as he was ordered to do with a great deal of relish.


	14. 14

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Fourteen

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

**Old Friends - Chapter Fourteen  
Open Mouth, Insert Big Fat Foot**

0523 LOCAL Safe House Town Outside of Naples

"Harm, I love you." Mac stated clearly. "I told Webb that too. ... I told him that we were happy. ... We are happy, aren't we?"

"Yes." He said with that same unequivocal manner he had developed over the past few months.

She smiled. She was beginning to really appreciate his direct one-word answers. "Then tell me you love me and kiss me 'hello', sailor." She ordered.

She still wanted him. He felt it. Webb would not be a factor. She was his and he had won the day. Harm did as he was ordered to do.

"I should have married you years ago." Harm whispered into Mac's ear.

"What did you say?" She didn't pull away; she was just couldn't believe what she heard. The moment was broken for her.

He leaned back so he could see her expression. "It has always been you Mac. You are why I couldn't make a commitment to anyone else." He exhaled and pulled her back tightly to his chest. "I owe an apology to Renee ... and Annie ... and Jordan – if only I could ... hell I should apologize to Brumby too."

"Harm, we have work to do." She felt her irritation rise. "We have court in an couple of hours."

"That is all you have to say?" He gave her a sweet smile.

"What do you want me to say?" She stepped away from him and started back toward the house. It was not a real question; it was a dismissal.

"Mac?" Harm was confused. A minute ago, things were fine, better than fine; they were OUTSTANDING.

She turned back to him. "Harm."

"Don't you have something to say?" He and Mac had never openly discussed marriage before – not that he thought they needed to discuss it. It was understood, but frankly he was expecting a little more from her.

"We don't want to get into this now." She stated. "YOU don't want to get into this now."

"What exactly are we NOT getting into?" He couldn't believe that they were going to have a fight about something like his admission that he had always loved her and wanted to marry her.

"Let's just forget about it." She stated. "Tell me what your ideas are with the Lankersheim case."

"Wait just a minute, marine." He took her hand and led her back to the side yard away from the house. "What just happened here?"

"Nothing." She looked down and pulled her hand away.

"Don't tell me NOTHING, Mac." He got in front of her. "Something happened."

"I was just reminded about something." She flung at him. "That's all."

"Reminded about what?" He was getting really annoyed that he had to pull this out of her. "Mac?"

She was fighting with herself to not say anything.

"Damn it Mac, talk to me!"

'He asked for it.' She thought. "I was just reminded what an arrogant, egotistical, self-centered, narcissistic man you are." The words were better in her head, and she regretted that she was forced to say them.

He was blown back.

"At times." She added in an attempt to smooth them over. It didn't work.

"Where did that come from?" He was at a loss.

"From you."

"I tell you that I have always loved you and that makes me an arrogant, self-centered and ... and ... and narcissistic?"

"No ... you tell me that you should have married me years ago and that makes you arrogant, egotistical, self-centered and narcissistic." She started to turn away but turned back to make sure she was understood. "How presumptuous! What makes you think I would have married you years ago? What makes you think I would marry you now?"

"Mac -."

"Then you want to apologize to the women you STRUNG along as you were 'loving only me' and to the man I almost married ... what about ME? Huh? Don't I rate an apology? Didn't I get STRUNG ALONG for eight years? No, I guess not ... I am just the woman you 'should have married years ago' whether or not I have a say in the matter is irrelevant. Whatever the GREAT HARMON RABB wants, he gets."

"You want me to apologize to you?" He was still really confused how this turned into a fight.

"I don't want an apology, Harm. ... I want to be considered."

"I consider you." He defended.

"Not enough to ... to ... to ... I don't know ... ASK?" She said sarcastically.

"Ask what?"

She shook her head, more in disbelief. She was not going to give him the answer. If he had to ask ...

"You want me to propose to you? What like down on one knee ... diamond ring ... the whole bit?" He shook his head. "I thought we were past that, Mac."

"Past that?" She shook her head and smirked. "Harm, do not presume to know me or know what I am thinking, feeling or what I want."

"I don't." He stated.

"Right." She stated in utter contempt. "We are not going to talk about this here ... not here and not now. We have a client to defend and then there is that little matter of Nancy Hatfield to handle." She turned on her heel and marched up to the house.

Harm was left with his confusion. Moments before they were happy and in love and now ... well now he had no idea what was happening between them.

Inside the house

Harm came in and saw the three men at the table, they looked up as he entered. Clay stood up to refill his coffee. Mac was nowhere in sight.

"Coffee is fresh, commander." Gunny said to break the silence in the room.

"Thanks Gunny." Harm walked over to get himself a cup.

Webb leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Knew you would screw it up, you just can't help yourself."

"Webb ... Go to hell." He said quietly.

"I'll save you a seat." He smiled and walked back to his place at the table.

"Rabb," the admiral called over to him. "We have a plan."

He nodded and joined them at the table.

**0856 Local **

**Hearing Room US Naval Base, Naples**

For the next couple of hours Harm's conversation with Mac, though limited due to the group they were in and the topics they were discussing, consisted of questions ... only questions. His voice was even and clear. He was not being sarcastic or rude, but he really wasn't listening to the answers either, well other than to get the facts. Most importantly he wanted her to know that he wasn't going to PRESUME anything and that he CONSIDERED her in all decisions. It got worse when it was the two of them discussing the case with Commander Lankersheim.

"Do you want some coffee? Or would you prefer tea?"

"Would you like the front seat or the back seat?"

"What concerns do you have with the plan to capture Hatfield?"

"Is there anything you would like to go over about Commander Lankersheim's testimony?"

"What were your impressions of Lieutenant Mallory?" (Mallory was the pilot who filed the complaint.)

"What did you find in the Lieutenant's personnel jacket?"

"Would you like me to take cross?"

"Do you have points you want me to bring out?"

He was being a jerk ... even more of a jerk than he normally was when he got into those wild hair moods. They finally had a moment alone before they walked into the courtroom.

"Stop it." She said grabbing his arm.

"What would you like me to stop, Mac?"

"Harm, I have a legitimate beef with you that we will resolve when the time is right, but if you continue in this vein it is going to turn into a much bigger thing than it needs to be and I can't guarantee that we will find resolution." She warned.

"I am sorry, colonel." He leaned in closer to her. "Was that a threat?"

"An observation." Her eyes narrowed. "Now go in there and pull the damn rabbit out of your hat, as you are so famous for doing and let's get the hell out of here."

She threw the door open and strode from the room.

Harm shook his head in disgust and followed along after her.

In the end, Harm did exactly that. He got Mallory to admit that he had it out for Lankersheim by exposing a prior liaison they had at flight school. Evidently they had had a brief encounter that she ended rather unceremoniously. She of course did not want this information to get out because she felt it would diminish her ability to lead and might reflect detrimentally on her next FitRep, which was why she didn't tell Mac. She was exonerated and sent back to active duty and Mallory would be brought up on charges of false swearing.

"Harm." Mac asked him after Lankersheim had left. "How did you know?"

"I didn't." He said coolly stepping around her.

"What made you suspect?"

He turned and looked back at her. "I recognized him."

"You know the lieutenant?"

"I have never met him before today."

"You recognized him?" She asked for clarification.

"I recognized the look in his eye." He stated. "I am very familiar with the look of a man scorned – saw it in my mirror for -."

"Go to hell." She cut him off.

"Your boyfriend is saving me a seat." He hissed through clenched teeth and stormed out of the room.

Mac would have followed but she needed a moment to discuss some things with Bud and Sturgis.

By time Mac made it outside, Harm was nowhere in sight. She looked to see where Gunny had gone. He was right beside her. She started to feel the irritation rise up in her.

"Gunny, the commander?" She asked trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice.

He nodded across the street. Harm was sitting in the driver's seat of the car with the motor running.

She exhaled loudly and nodded to Gunny to follow her.

Harm got out as soon as she approached. "Colonel, would you like to drive?"

She looked back at Gunny who wisely enough had remained out of earshot. "What I would like is for you to give it a rest. You are blowing this all out of proportion and you are really beginning to piss me off."

"How inconsiderate of me." He bantered back to her.

"Grow up, Rabb." She slid into the back seat.

Gunny came around and got in on the passenger side.

Harm rethought his actions and wondered if she was right. He got in, gunned the engine and headed back to the safe house.

**  
1842 LOCAL **

**Safe House Town Outside of Naples**

The team discussed the plans again. Now that the case was cleared they could move on. It was decided that Mac and Harm would go to Afghanistan under the guise of a US liaison to the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) sent as an independent team to investigate the ICRC's claims that the US was holding terror suspects in other locations. JAG could be relatively independent since the Navy was not typically involved with the detainees in the war. The added bonus for Harm and Mac was the nature of the assignment allowed them to be mobile. The plan of course had to go through the SecNav and various other channels up the chain to – more than likely – the top. That was what the admiral had been doing all morning. The fact that he was retired came up on more than one occasion not to mention how and why he was in Naples, but somehow he was able to convince the SecNav that there was something at stake that required his personal attention. When asked if it had anything to do with Rabb and MacKenzie, the admiral replied, "Sir, I am cleaning up. Consider it my final act as JAG." It was implied that he was cleaning up a mess that the SecNav had created. Authorization was granted.

It was further decided that the Gunny and the admiral would have to go as aides to Harm and Mac, which meant that the admiral could not longer be an admiral. He was reduced in rank. Not for a moment did anyone consider taking advantage of this ploy, even in jest.

Webb's role in this little ruse was unclear, since he was 'dead' there was little help the CIA could provide directly. He had never met Nancy Ellen Hatfield and didn't know if she was aware that he was not dead. To keep up the front, he had to work his operatives for information on the down low. He had gotten three reports that day and was waiting on confirmation. Two things were clear, Hatfield was still in Afghanistan and she was still thought to be working with the Red Cross.

They were set to leave at 2300. Harm excused himself to get some sleep. He and Mac had not shared a private moment nor did they do much talking to each other in the 'planning' meeting. What neither had noticed – or refused to acknowledge - was that they didn't need to speak to each other. They were in sync – 100 on the same wave length. What Harm suggested or commented on, Mac was about to and vice versa. Each would finish the other sentences or address the others concerns. It was as if they were of one mind. Webb noticed. Gunny noticed. The admiral noticed. Never before had he had Rabb and MacKenzie in a briefing where one or the other did not have some dissenting opinion or some zing to throw out. It was either the calm before the storm or ... well the admiral didn't want to venture a guess as to what else is could have been he just hoped it would last.

Mac was out on the porch finishing up the file from earlier that day.

"Heard Rabb did another magic show today." The admiral's voice came from the open door.

She looked back at him. "Yes, sir."

"Mac, please ... AJ."

She nodded.

He opened the door and came and stood near her looking out into the night. "Are you two going to be OK?"

"Harm and I will do what we need to do to bring Hatfield in." She stated clearly.

"That is not my concern, Mac." He turned to her. "I am concerned about the two of you."

"Thank you, AJ." She smiled slightly. "There is really no need."

He nodded and looked down. "Permission to speak freely." He asked.

"Of course, sir." She sat back and let the file drop to her lap.

"Frankly, I had always thought that you two – as a couple – was a bad idea." He shrugged. "Of course I am no one to talk, I can't pick the right cereal to get me through to lunch much less someone to share my life with."

"AJ."

"Please let me finish." He smiled at her. "Although I had my doubts about you together – there is one thing that was made painfully clear to me this past year." He paused. "You two can't be apart."

"Sir?"

"There is a spark and a life to each of you that only grows brighter when you are in the same room. Speaking as an outsider, I am draw to that spark – many people are. At times that spark ignites and blows up, taking a little chunk out of anyone that is standing by, but more often what happens is ... magic."

"Magic?"

"You two pull things out of the other - and those of us standing by - that are inspiring. Working together, working on opposing sides ... you two get the job done."

"Yes, sir, often we do."

"More than just in the courtroom or on an investigation." He added for clarification. "No two people I know are more loyal or self-sacrificing in the face of adversity either physically or emotionally."

"Sir." She thought he was giving them too high a praise.

"As for personally, I have never known two people who would and have suffered more at the hands of the other yet kept coming back for more." He laughed a little. "I am sure Gates would have all kinds of explanations, but in my mind – if you just accepted it ... accepted that you will never be out of each other's lives – for good or bad – and stopped trying to put other people between you or change each other – everyone would be better off."

The admiral's cell phone rang.

"Excuse me, I need to take this." He walked off to speak in private.

Mac stayed on the porch wondering how much of the fight they were in did she create. Was she wrong? No, she wasn't. Harm was being presumptuous and inconsiderate. Is that new for Harm? No. Did she need to get that upset? Not really. There was some merit to the fact that he was trying to be nice to her, trying to tell her how much he loved her, trying to acknowledge that he had made mistakes – in his own way. No, she didn't need to get that upset, particularly since they were so far from home and there too much time needed to pass before they could openly discuss her concerns. Yep, pretty much Mac was responsible for the fight they were in at the moment.

She piled up the files and went in search of Harm.

Harm was still sleeping. She let herself quietly into the room and watched him for a moment. She liked watching him sleep. In the past month or so they had been together - together all night - about half a dozen times ... maybe a little more, but not more than a dozen. The night she remembered ... the night she chose to remember and savor every detail of as she watched him sleep – as well as other times – was the second time.

_**A week after the first time was the night that changed her – changed them as a couple. Why so long? Life got in the way – mostly. Between Mattie and cases they were working, the timing just never seemed right. They could have found enough time to DO IT – but unspoken, neither wanted to just 'do it' ... they were too old for that, but try as they might it was hard to find the time to give the other their undivided attention.**_

_**It was a Wednesday – well, it started on a Wednesday. She spent the afternoon with a client who would not cooperate. Harm was in court. They talked briefly at lunch and discovered that it would be impossible to try to get together for dinner. Mattie had this thing at school and Mac would be hip deep in depositions until after midnight. Around 2330 Harm called.**_

_**"Hi, how's it going?" His gentle voice came across the line.**_

_**"Miserable ... I would give you twenty bucks to take this case off my hands."**_

_**"Ha. I have upped my rates."**_

_**"I'd pay anything." She said.**_

_**"For you - we could work something in trade."**_

_**She smiled at his adolescent humor. "How did it go with Mattie tonight?" She asked.**_

_**"Good, she is signing up for a couple of summer school classes."**_

_**"That's great." Mac was so impressed that Harm was really taking his time with Mattie. "She will have some of the summer to play, right?"**_

_**"I am not a slave driver, Mac." He explained. "One of the classes is horse back riding."**_

_**She laughed. "I see."**_

_**There was a brief pause as Harm screwed up his courage. He didn't really know why, but he was nervous. "Would you have dinner with me on Friday?"**_

_**Mac was still a little distracted to notice the change of timber in his voice. "Friday? Sure, I can bounce some ideas off of you." She said. "We can order in or go to that Chinese place where we can --."**_

_**"No, Mac." He said softly. He wanted to shut her off but not rudely. "This is not a working dinner." There was a long pause. "I was hoping I could take you to that new Japanese place."**_

_**Mac sat back. The new Japanese place was not the kind of place you take a colleague after work. It was very exotic, only the BIG people went there – Harm was planning on dropping a chunk of change. No, no – this was a date. "Oh, I see." She was at a loss for words.**_

_**"Are you free on Friday, will you join me for dinner?"**_

_**She was struggling to keep her breathing under control. "Yes." She smiled to herself. "I would love to join you for dinner."**_

_**"Good." He let the breath he was holding out. "I will pick you up around ... 1930?"**_

_**"Good." She was so nervous she didn't know what else to say. She actually had a ton of things to talk about to him, but for the moment, she could not articulate the words nor did she have the inclination.**_

_**"Good." He was pleased that it was so easy ... hell he should have asked her years before. "I'll see you then ... well I will see you tomorrow."**_

_**"You will."**_

_**"Good night, Sarah."**_

_**"Night."**_

_**Those were pretty close to the last words they spoke to each other before their date. He was in court all day Thursday and Mac was called to Norfolk. She was in very great peril of having to cancel their date. That was the message she left on Thursday afternoon. Harm was preparing himself to be very disappointed. But it didn't happen. Friday morning she left him another message telling him that she would be back in plenty of time. In fact she was able to secure early and go home around 1530.**_

_**When she arrived at her apartment, she found a fantastic arrangement of flowers waiting for her: irises, roses, lilies etc. They were beautiful and filled her apartment with an exotic perfume. The note read simply. "Looking forward to tonight. Love, Harm"**_

_**Wow, he was really pulling out all the stops for this. It actually gave her a little panic. What was she going to wear? She went to her closet and pulled out nearly every dress she thought might work, but nothing did. Checking her internal clock, she had enough time. She quickly drove down to her favorite boutique. This store never failed her. Carroll, a woman she had come to know well over the years, was there. Mac explained her situation as she flew through the racks looking for something to wear. Carroll politely excused herself and went to the back. She returned with a garment bag.**_

_**"Miss MacKenzie," she called to her. "I think you might want to take a look at this."**_

_**Mac unzipped the bag and discovered THE dress. It was in a deep, deep green – not a hunter or a forest, deeper than that, very nearly black with a subtle floral pattern to it that only gave depth and texture to the fabric. It was made of a silk/satin material. When she tried it on, it hung on her like it was made for her. It clung in places that were supposed to be clingy and it was flowy in places that should have been. Mac had to admit; this dress was hers and she looked damn sexy in it. The price tag was not made for a colonel's budget, but she could not get it. Carroll further suggested a very fine cashmere wrap that had some small flowers embroidered on it and a small handbag to match. Again – perfect.**_

_**"Shoes!" Mac thought she had no shoes that would work with the dress and she was running out of time.**_

_**Carroll put up her hand and made a phone call. Within in a minute someone from the store across the street was there with shoes that were exactly right – albeit three-inch spikes, but that was what was called for with the hemline and the slit.**_

_**Mac felt guilty. "Carroll, you put this whole ensemble together, were you going to buy this for yourself?"**_

_**"This dress was something special, I knew it the moment I saw it so I did a little accessorizing. But Miss MacKenzie, I was not saving it for myself. I had no idea who, but when you walked in today, I knew it was you."**_

_**"Thank you." Mac pressed the woman's hand.**_

_**"May I make another suggestion?"**_

_**"Of course." Mac laughed.**_

_**"With your hair long - like it is now – you will need to wear it up." She saw the look of panic on Mac's face. She was still not very good at doing her own hair. "Geoffrey will do it."**_

_**"Geoffrey?"**_

_**"At the salon in the next block. You head down there, I will call and set everything up and bring the dress and shoes down to you in an hour."**_

_**Mac was floored by this woman's generosity. She could do nothing but accept graciously.**_

_**Mac arrived home dress and shoes in hand, with fresh coat of pain on her nails and her hair and make up done by a professional. The whole experience enhanced the whole "date" scenario and she was feeling very beautiful. It was 1846. Harm would be there – exactly on time – and she had to get everything in order. Her bedroom was still covered with the discards from her closet.**_

_**At 1929 she was ready. She looked out the window and saw Harm's vette in the parking lot. She didn't know how long he had been there, but she knew he arrived early and was waiting to be exactly on time. He got out of his car and looked up to her window. He didn't see her. He actually looked a little nervous. He was wearing a dark charcoal suit, shirt and tie. He looked taller from her window. She was glad she got the three-inch heels. He was at her door in moments, but she waited to take a deep breath. She had to laugh at her self for being nervous.**_

_**She opened the door and saw immediately that he liked what he saw. 'Good.' She thought it was all worth it, although there was almost no trouble to it.**_

_**"Sarah, you are ... absolutely ... stunning." He waited in the hall taking her in.**_

_**"Thank you." She smiled. "Please come in." She stepped back. "Thank you for the flowers."**_

_**He wanted to say 'thank you for that dress' but chose to be more of a gentleman. "You are very welcome." He leaned down – though not as 'down' as he normally would have to and kissed her gently.**_

_**"Do you want to sit down, do we have time before the reservation?" She was a little lost for what to say, what to do, how to act.**_

_**Harm was too. "Actually I changed the reservation from that Japanese place."**_

_**"Oh?" She was not disappointed so much as she was curious.**_

_**"I heard of this great place – down on the water. It is supposed to have the best lobster south of Maine."**_

_**"Lobster?" She was impressed.**_

_**"They also have a chocolate soufflé to die for and ... it is very private."**_

_**"You don't want to be seen with me?" She asked coyly.**_

_**"I want you all to myself." He leaned in and kissed her softly again.**_

_**Mac deepened the kiss a shade more than she had wanted to, but she couldn't help herself. She felt loved and attended to and beautiful.**_

_**Harm reluctantly pulled back. "We'll miss dinner." He warned.**_

_**She actually thought about suggesting that they cancel dinner and order in – later, but changed her mind.**_

_**"Let's go." She handed him her wrap so he could put it round her shoulders.**_

_**Harm was an amazing gentleman to her: opening doors for her, holding her chair, placing his hand at the small of her back as they walked. His mother would have been so proud. They were there in time to enjoy the sunset before they sat down. It was all very romantic. The conversation at first was a little stiff and stilted. Neither wanted to talk about work or the past or the future. There was no need for small talk or 'getting to know you' talk. And neither wanted to bring up a subject that would cause debate. Eventually they worked it out. Dinner was fantastic and when the soufflé arrived, Mac thought she had died and gone to heaven. After dinner they took a little walk – as far as Mac's shoes would allow. Still Harm was attentive and loving. He suggested they take a drive to enjoy the night air, but Mac had had enough driving that day.**_

_**When they arrived back at her apartment, she offered to make tea. She kicked off her shoes silently cursing the man who invented spike heels and went to the kitchen. She thought about that whole 'change into something more comfortable' thing that women do, but it didn't feel right.**_

_**Harm took off his coat and loosened his tie. He knew in what direction he wanted the night to go, and God knows he had done it before with women, but that night had to be different, had to be special. He even thought about kissing her 'good night' and going home. But they were past that. He joined her in the kitchen.**_

_**"Dinner was wonderful." She said without turning around. "Thank you."**_

_**"Thank you."**_

_**They were silent for a moment with only the sound of the water heating and the clink of the cups filling the room.**_

_**He put his arms around her waist from behind and kissed her neck.**_

_**She melted back into him.**_

_**"You are an amazing woman, Sarah MacKenzie. I am honored to have you in my life."**_

_**"I can say the same to you."**_

_**He turned her in his arms and kissed her, gently at first but it quickly became more. Silently he asked and silently she answered. They were in agreement. He turned off the burner and moved the teapot off the stove. He took her hand and led her back through the living room to the bedroom. They made sweet passionate love until the wee hours of the morning. He was kind and generous and very in tune with her desires. The experience brought them intimately closer than they had ever been. Than either had been with anyone else in their lives. In the space of those hours, these two made one. When morning came it lingered with them for a while until life again got in the way. But ever since that night, they were measurably closer.**_

Mac was looking out the window into the Naples night. The moon through the trees was casting shadows across her face. Harm was sleeping. They needed to talk, they needed to apologize to each other and focus on the job ahead of them, but what would she say and was he prepared to hear it.

"You are stunning in moonlight too." Harm whispered from the bed.

She turned; surprised to see him watching her.

"There is only one other time that you looked as beautiful as you do right now." He continued.

"Oh?"

Harm rolled over on to his back. "The night I took you to dinner."

She nodded. "The lobster. That soufflé." She was still savoring the memory of the dinner.

"That dress." He smiled licking his lips playfully. "Drop dead gorgeous."

Mac stepped over and sat on the edge of the bed. "So you are saying that I am just as beautiful in marine green fatigues as I am in a million dollar dress." She smiled at him. "I should have saved myself the money."

"Worth every penny." He confirmed. "It doesn't have anything to do with the clothes." He took her hand in both of his. "It is a look in your eyes that lights you from within."

"I see." She laughed it off.

"What were you thinking?" He asked carefully. That question could have backfired on him six different ways to Sunday.

"Honestly?" She looked down. "I was thinking about that night."

"Me too." He said softly. "Actually I was dreaming about it."

Her face washed with concern.

"I am sorry, Sarah." He stated pressing her hand.

She looked up into his eyes. "I am sorry." She corrected.

"You can still make me crazy." He said.

"You too."

"I guess there is no danger of us falling into a rut, eh marine."

"A rut might be nice." She smiled.

He sat up and pulled her too him. "I am really sorry." He said again.

She pulled back to look at him. Words failed her. Their lips met for a kiss. The incident would be forgiven, if not forgotten – but it would be shelved for the moment.

KNOCK, KNOCK

Neither pulled away from the embrace, but the kiss had to stop.

"I'm awake." Harm said.

"We leave in 30 minutes, sir." Gunny called through the door.

"I'll be right down." He sat back.

"Does this plan have a chance in hell of working?" She asked.

He shook his head. "Don't really like the idea of being bait on a hook, but if Webb does his job – we will not be dangling out there for too long."

"He won't let us down." She claimed.

"From your lips to Gods ears." He rolled over and off the other side of the bed.

"Are you two going to be able to work together?" She asked sincerely.

"If he can learn to stay out of my face – particularly as concerns you – yeah, we will be fine." He was pulling his fatigues on.

"I'll talk to him." She said softly.

"Don't, Sarah." He stuffed his dog tags under his shirt. "This is between him and me. I'll take care of it."

Mac rolled her eyes and moved toward the door. "Men!"

"And you love us." He grabbed her hand before she could get away.

"I love you." She corrected.

"Good answer." He kissed her quickly. "Let's remember to talk about that more."

Again she rolled her eyes. "Your head will explode." She touched his cheek gently. "Let's go." She opened the door and escaped.

Harm looked back at the mirror to check that his hair was smoothed down – also to give her time to get down the stairs. They weren't fooling anyone, but there was no need to flaunt it.

He smiled at his reflection. He looked happy. He was about to go on a dangerous mission that could get him, the woman he loved or friend killed – adrenaline was starting to pump, muscles were constricting, his mind should have been working the plan over and over in his head, but all he could think was 'She loves me.' He was happy.


	15. 15

Title: **Old Friends**

Chapter Fifteen

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

**Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.**

**Old Friends - Chapter Fifteen**

**Ba Da Boom**

**1411 LOCAL - Thursday**

**US Run Detention Facility**

**Kandahar, Afghanistan**

The explosion ripped through the third floor of the detention facility. Harm was blown back through the room into the wall beyond. The air had been completely knocked out of him. He thought he heard people screaming but his ears were ringing so loudly he couldn't be sure. The air was filled with a thick dust. He tried to catch his breath but he couldn't. The floor fell away from him, the ceiling was crashing down. He felt himself sliding down. He couldn't move. He couldn't breath. Something fell on him, pinning him to what was left of the floor. Something else fell, hitting his head. He lost consciousness.

How did Harm get there for the explosion?

The quick story was the team left Naples near midnight on Friday night via military transport. Webb was posing as an embedded reported with the JAG team. They met up with Marla O'Shaunessy. She was a ranking member of the ICRC who would be working with them. She was Australian and not impressed with the US or its delegates. They spent several days with her interviewing detention workers, touring detention centers, interviewing detainees and sifting through mounds of documents provided by the military. Marla had a list of people – alleged terrorist suspects – that had gone missing sometime during the war. It was her job to discover if they were in US custody.

Obviously the JAG team and Miss O'Shaunessy were not welcome either by the detainees or the military working the facilities. The whole thing was slow going and it was hard to tell who was withholding more information: the ICRC, the detainees or the US Government. Harm and Mac were in the zone – as they say. This was the first 'op' that they had been on after they had 'gotten together.' While their discussions were lively and they provoked much debate, they were relating to each other like a well-choreographed well-rehearsed dance team. They were actually doing what they were sent to do. It was supposed to be a ruse to draw Hatfield out, but Harm and Mac were building a case that there were no undisclosed detention facilities nor was anyone being held not on the list – at least not in Afghanistan. Since arriving in Afghanistan five days prior, they had been from Kabul to Ghazni to Herat to Kandahar with several other smaller locations in between. O'Shaunessy was working at break neck speed. In her mind it was all for show – for the brass. They were wasting their time and she wanted it to be over as quickly as possible. The second to last stop was Kandahar before they went back to Kabul for a final inspection. The Kandahar facility was nearly vacant. The last twenty-three detainees were to be transferred to the Kabul facility the next morning.

The admiral and Gunny's assignment during this operation, was to hang back and to be on the look out for Hatfield; they took no part in the investigation. Gunny knew her, well actually he actually had met her a month or so back in Baghdad. She was one of the workers being questioned about the leaks that had been traced back to the ICRC. He got to know her a little bit. At least he got to know a female named Sally-Ann Butler a little bit (a Georgia Peach if there ever was one). Her story was that she had joined the Peace Corps to help the Iraqi people. She got hooked up with the ICRC and hoped that she could do something meaningful, but the death and destruction had finally gotten to her. She just wanted to go home: lots of crying and carrying on. Gunny bought it; well bought it enough for him to chose to believe that she was just an innocent woman who got caught up with this crazy war. He was going to help her get home and get back to her family.

As it turned out she was actually Hatfield. The connection from Sally-Ann to Zuleika to Sadik Fahd to Nancy Ellen was made a little too late. She had slipped. The connection between ICRC to Sadik and al-Qaeda was made. Nancy Ellen Hatfield was more than an ex-patriot; she was a traitor. She was providing targets and other intelligence, which led to the death of many Americans. Gunny didn't forgive himself for letter her get away. No one else saw it that way. The ICRC needed more proof.

On the day of the explosion, during the tour of the detention facility in Kandahar, Gunny thought he recognized her. She was dressed in an abaya so he couldn't be sure. Nancy Ellen Hatfield had flaming red hair and bright green eyes – well that was what she was born with but again, she had learned how to change her appearance and her identity as well as Sadik had. Gunny was fairly confident that the woman he saw was Hatfield and he told the admiral about what he saw.

She had entered the building but he lost her in the stairwell. The admiral told the facility commander that there was probably a breach in security and instructed them to start an evacuation. That suggestion went over like a lead balloon. Where were they supposed to take the prisoners and how? They would need hours to accomplish that. Gunny found Marla and Mac. Mac was instructed to take Marla to safety. She was on her way back into the building when it exploded. She woke to find herself about twenty to thirty feet from where she was standing covered with debris and the admiral. He had pushed her out of the way. She was unharmed – well as unharmed as could be expected. All her limbs worked, she wasn't bleeding but she had a headache to beat the band. The admiral did not fare so well. He had a large gash on his forehead that was bleeding very badly and it felt like his leg was broken. The scene before them was chaotic at best.

"Fine, Fine" you say. "Mac was alright, and the admiral will be ok. But how did Harm get there for the explosion? And what about Gunny?"

Harm was on the third floor going through documents. He actually felt like he was getting somewhere. Out in the hall he heard loud voices; one voice he recognized as Webb's. The other was a woman. He went to the hall to see what was going on.

Clayton stood at the end of the hall – about thirty feet away. The woman was between Harm and Webb.

"Clayton Webb." The woman turned to face him. "You are a hard man to kill." She said with that West Virginia drawl.

'That must be our girl.' Harm thought.

"I have heard that before, Nancy -." Webb replied.

"ZULEIKA FAHD!" She corrected.

"Zuleika." Webb corrected. "I can help you get home."

"Home? Home?" She laughed and pulled off her headscarf. "I have no home. Your woman took my life from me when she killed my husband. Now I will take hers from her." She opened her robe to reveal a bomb strapped to her chest.

Webb stepped back reflexively. "Zuleika, you don't want to do this."

"I do."

Webb saw Harm standing on the other side of the hall. Zuleika stepped to the side of the corridor and looked directly at him.

"Harmon Rabb – thank you for making this so easy." She pulled herself up to her full height. "The hero who recused the killer and shamed my husband." She looked back at Webb. "And the lover she … she … she… what did she see in you Clayton Webb … No matter … she with have neither … she will have nothing … my revenge is indeed sweet."

Harm or Webb dove for cover as she detonated the bomb.

GROUND LEVEL –Sometime After The Explosion

Mac had been helping with the rescue efforts but they asked her to step back. They were going to have to bring in the dogs. They were at least six hours away, if authorization could be gotten. Seven US soldiers died in the explosion mostly from falling debris outside the facility. Three detainees were killed, a Red Cross worker and four residents of Kandahar were also killed. At last count, at least seventeen people were still missing including Cathy Shea with the ICRC (aka Nancy Hatfield) and Harmon Rabb, USN. Mac had no idea if Clay was in the building or not, but since she had not seen him she suspected that he had been. They had pulled Gunny out a little while ago. He was still unconscious and the medics were not saying much, but at least he was not dead. The admiral was with him.

She tried Harm's cell again. Nothing. Moments later she received an incoming call.

"HARM!" She called into the phone.

"No baby, it's Gates. Are you all right?"

At the sound of Gates' voice, Mac lost her marine resolve. "No … no, I'm not. All hell broke lose." Her breathing was rapid and she was talking very quickly.

"I saw Kandahar on the news … is that where you are?"

"They are saying that the bomb went off on the third floor. Harm was on the third floor." Mac felt her voice cracking as she spoke the words.

"Honey, are you OK … are you injured?"

"NO … NO I wasn't in the building – the admiral got me out of the way." Mac could barely concentrate on what she was saying.

"The admiral? AJ?" Gates asked. "Is he OK?"

"He is fine – well he is not fine. He has a broken leg and has about eighteen stitches in his head." Mac was losing it.

The rescue workers pulled two more people out of the rubble: a woman and a child. The child could not have been older than four or five – both residents, both dead.

"Gates … what am I supposed to do? They won't let me go into the building."

"Honey, let them do their job." She said in as much of a calming tone as she could. "Where is Webb?"

"I don't know … I don't know … he was probably in the building too."

"Mac … Mac … Sarah, you are going to have to focus for a moment."

"I am focused … I need to get into that building and find Harm." Mac ended the call.

She was about to march up to the person in charge and demand to be let in to help with the search effort, but it was at that moment that the sidewall collapsed into the hole where the building had been.

Moments Before the Wall Fell

Harm woke to someone shaking him and calling his name. He could barely make out who it was it was so dark and his ears were still ringing. He felt a tightness in his chest and he couldn't move. Something was on his leg and he had a shooting pain in his left arm.

"Damn it, Rabb." The voice called again. "Wake up."

Harm blinked his eyes and tried to focus on the person kneeling next to him. "I must be in hell if you are here, Webb." He said with as much 'joke' as he could muster.

"Hell? Not yet, but we can see it from here. Can you move?"

"I can barely hear you, you are going to have to speak up." Harm's ear drums were damaged back in February, they never fully healed.

"CAN YOU MOVE!" Webb shouted.

"No need to shout, I am sitting right here." He gave a week smile as he tried to pull himself out from under the debris.

"RABB!" Clay was in a great deal of pain and was in no mood for Harm.

"No, I can't." He said. "Wait … wait … I can move my foot. At least my leg is not broken."

"OK … look we have got to get out of here before the rest of the building comes down on our heads.

The room there were in was very unstable. Plaster and beams were dropping from the ceiling.

"Where is here?" He asked still trying to focus.

"Subbasement … three or four levels down – I think, I have no idea … Do I look like a building engineer? … I just know we are underground." Clay was maneuvering in the tight space to get a better angle.

"Underground?" Harm was trying to pull himself out. "Well good - you know all about underground."

"I am glad you find this funny."

"Day at the beach." He got a little serious. "What happened?"

"The woman scorned … She didn't want Sarah; she wanted us."

"Mac was on the ground floor." Harm stated with a great deal of concern.

"Maybe she got out in time." Webb said hopefully.

"She was in another part of the building." He said to reassure himself.

"Where is your cell phone?"

Harm checked his pocket and his face fell. "It was on the table."

"Then it is buried in the rubble." Webb stated. "Mine was destroyed."

"How did we get down here?"

Webb winced again in pain. "The building folded like a house of cards when the bomb went off. We rode the top floor all the way to the basement – the subbasement."

"Didn't even know that had a basement much less a subbasement." Harm tried to sit up.

Webb again shifted his position. "By all rights we should be dead."

"They can't kill us."

"Apparently not – but I am getting a little sick of THEM trying." With a final shift he said, "OK, I am going to try to move this … this … whatever the hell it is, pull you leg out. Push with you hands while I lift this up."

"I think we have a problem with that plan." Harm winced.

"Why?" Webb asked.

"My arm is broken."

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Well, you are going to have to suck it up sailor, we can't stay here."

Harm took a deep breath. "OK, I'm ready."

With a grunt from Webb and a groan from Rabb, Harm was able to extricate his leg from the cross beam that was holding him down.

"OK?" Webb asked.

"Yeah – great – just like rolling out of bed." Harm said but clearly he didn't believe it.

Webb started helping him to his feet.

"Where is the stairwell?" Harm asked.

"Completely blocked." Webb said. "That's where I came from."

"Doesn't matter, it will be the safest place in the building."

"What's left of it."

"Exactly. The rescue party won't be down here for hours." Harm limped using Clay's shoulder for support struggling to climb over the rubble.

Webb was in a lot of pain himself.

"Think we need to look for other survivors?" Webb groaned under the weight of Harm.

"Well this part of the building was empty, of course I don't know what was in the basement."

"OK OK … we have got to stop." Clay said and he let Harm lean on some debris.

"Is that blood?" Harm asked, it was so dark in there he could not see.

"Yeah." Clay answered.

"You're bleeding?" Harm was surprised.

"Got hit with something in the explosion and I think I just tore it open." He groaned and coughed a little.

"Where?"

"My back."

"I can't see a god damn thing." He reached his good hand up to find Webb. "Turn around. Show me where it hurts."

"You say 'turn your head and cough' and I'll break your other arm."

"If that where it hurts, you are on your own." Harm was concerned more about the wound.

"The middle of my back on the right side."

Harm felt. "Jesus Webb, we have to stop the bleeding."

"Got a first aid kit?"

Harm pulled Webb up and got him to the stairwell. He made a space and put him down as he worked on the stopping the bleeding.

There in the darkness they heard a ring – a digital ring.

"My phone." Harm said.

"We'll never find it." Webb stated.

"Mac is not going to be happy."

"She'll forgive you if you get out of here alive."

"WHEN WE get out of here alive – there will be hell to pay." Rabb stated pulling his shirt off to use to stop the bleeding.

Just then they heard a crumbling and the ground shook, more debris from the ceiling fell. The air was filled with dust. They had no way of knowing from their underground position that the one remaining wall had fallen in on top of them.

Hours later

Mac was standing by watching the rescue/recovery effort. It amazed her how many locals were pitching in to help. They were pulling out rubble and working right along side the soldiers. In the last three hours eight people were found – alive. They had barricaded themselves in a room in the back. It gave Mac hope. The problem was that it was getting dark – soon it would be pitch black and they would have to stop for the night.

Gunny had come to in the mean time and had said that he saw Nancy Ellen Hatfield. He told Mac that he had seen Webb who had gone to find her. Webb's name was added to the list of people still missing. When Marla O'Shaunessy heard that Nancy Ellen Hatfield was indeed Zuleika Fahd and had been passing information to al-Qaeda she was incensed that the CIA would have allowed it. If they had that information why didn't they just arrest her?

That rant cause a very interesting and heated debate about what is real information and what is only supposition. Whose responsibility it is to do what and when. Here the ICRC was claiming that the US Government was detaining people without real information, only supposition and hearsay and yet with that same supposition and hearsay they were supposed to arrest an ICRC worker. The Gunny took much of the debate on himself and Marla O'Shaunessy got quite an earful.

Mac heard none of the debate. She had gone back to check in with the rescue efforts. Her phone rang. She knew it was Gates again. She almost thought about not answering it.

"MacKenzie." She said without looking at the caller ID.

"Mac." He said.

"Harm! Where are you?" She could barely believe she was hearing his voice. The connection was so awful she wasn't sure.

"Subbasement stairwell – northeast corner of the building."

"Are you hurt?"

"Yes, Webb is with me … he is hurt pretty badly … need to get him to a doctor."

"OK … OK " She started walked toward the man in charge. "Stay on the line with me."

"The battery is about dead."

"Ok." She didn't know how to say good-bye. "I'll call you back."

"We'll be waiting."

"I am going to get you out of there!"

"Counting on it."

She still didn't hang up.

"I love you, Sarah." He said just before the line went dead.

Webb was lying in the cleared space that Harm had made. He had lost a lot of blood and was drifting in and out of consciousness. Harm had found his cell phone after the third or fourth time Mac – or someone – had called. It was buried under a ton of stuff, but Harm was motivated. If they didn't know he was alive, if they didn't know how injured Webb was, they would not make an effort to find them nor would they know where to look. The fact that it had to be getting well past dark was going to slow the efforts. He needed to give them something to aim for. Webb would not last the night. Unfortunately in his search through the rubble for his phone, he redamaged his arm and something fell on his head. He didn't know how long he was out, but the ring of the phone brought him too.

"Who were you talking too?" Webb said groggily.

"Ordering a pizza … did you want anything?"

"Yeah … fifth of bourbon would go down nicely."

"Heard that." Harm turned him slightly over to feel the wound to see if it had stopped bleeding.

"I can see why you are a lawyer." Webb coughed. "Have no bedside manner."

"Yeah, well … the bleeding has stopped for the moment. Don't move around." Harm rubbed the spot on his head that was struck. There was no blood, but the lump was getting bigger.

Webb groaned. "Got a rock or something in my back."

Harm felt under him and pulled the rock out. "Better?"

"Like lying on a cloud." He coughed through his cynicism. "You found your phone?"

"Yeah." Harm sat down against the wall.

"Sarah … you were talking to Sarah?"

"Told her where we were – she'll get a team down here."

"She'll dig us out with her bare hands." Webb said. After a moment Webb added, "You should have married her years ago."

Harm wished he could see Webb's face. He wondered if he knew something or if it was an amazing coincidence.

"Seriously." Webb continued. "Would have saved a lot of heartache for a lot of people. In fact you owe us all an apology – both of you do."

"What are you talking about Webb?" Harm continued to rub the bump on his head.

"You and Sarah."

"I'm not sure I want to have this conversation with you."

"Why not …I am not gonna make it." He laughed. "Looks like I was finally taken down … by a woman no less."

"You are going to make it Webb. Not going to have your death on my conscience." He leaned his head back. "Besides, it wasn't a woman – a whole building had to fall on you."

"Kind of like that ton of bricks that had to fall on you to get you to step up with Sarah."

Harm resigned himself to the topic. As long as Webb was talking, he was still alive. "I stepped up, Webb … I stepped up when Brumby left … and then I waited … and waited … and waited."

"Never thought of you as a waiter."

"Was getting pretty good at it too … actually thought the wait was about over when that whole Singer business came up and then you got in the way."

"You want me to apologize for that?"

"No, I want you to apologize for taking her to Paraguay."

"Sarah is a big girl."

"Doesn't mean that you should have taken her into a situation that you couldn't control and had no back up plan for." Harm's raised voice hurt his ever-growing headache.

Webb got quiet.

"You still with me?' Harm asked.

"Yeah." He was still quiet.

"Webb?"

"How can I apologize for that?" Webb asked sincerely.

"By living long enough to make up for it."

"I tried … I had been trying to make up for it for the past year."

Harm looked over at him in the dark. "You were with her out of guilt?"

"I love her."

"Why? Cause you felt guilty?"

"She is an amazing woman." Webb stated softly. "But she has got a lot of walls around her."

"She is a survivor."

"But wants no one's help to do it."

"She doesn't trust easily." Harm said as much to himself as to Webb.

"I would have thought that would have made her and I a perfect match."

"Webb, Webb, Webb … just because she doesn't trust easily, doesn't mean that she doesn't want to. You have to earn it."

"How can you sit there pretending to be the expert on Sarah MacKenzie?" He laughed.

"She and I have issues … but we have always had trust – a version of trust – trust when it counts … we are working on the rest."

"Probably what keeps you two tied together." He coughed. "And keeps the rest of us on the sidelines."

"You weren't on the sidelines, Clay." Harm had to admit this. "You were right their in the middle of it."

"Nah … it was a matter of time. She hated my job and hated the secrets and lies … I was fooling myself and she was pretending it could work."

Harm was silent.

"Thought about quitting for her." He coughed again.

"Quitting what? The company?" Harm laughed. "Webb, you are born and bred spook. It is in your genes."

"Yeah, I know." He paused. "Not very good at it though, am I?"

Harm nodded in the dark. "Well you usually need to get your butt bailed out."

Webb was quiet.

"But you have the right instincts." Harm added. "You just need to learn a little patience and to set your priorities right."

"And you are the guy who is going to teach me that?" Webb coughed again.

"Not me." He shifted his seat. "But more often than not the mission does not come first."

Webb thought for a moment. "Doesn't matter anyway … I'll probably be 'retired' after this."

"Nah … you'll get a desk job. Director of Something-or-other."

They sat quietly for a moment. "Hey Rabb." Webb said after a minute.

"Yeah." Harm could barely keep his eyes open.

"I didn't get you fired."

"What?"

"When the agency fired you … I lobbied against it."

"What are you talking about?" He yawned and shifted his position.

"It was Kershaw. He wanted you out – said that your hero antics were a liability. It had nothing to do with you being on TV … it had to do with following orders … you were supposed to pick up one guy – not his whole family."

"What the hell was I supposed to do … let them die?" Harm realized there was no point in arguing his decision to take on Saed Labdouni's family. "I have been in the Navy for nearly twenty years – I am sick and tired of people telling me I can't follow orders."

"Be honest Rabb … you pick and choose the ones you want to follow."

"And that has saved your butt on more than one occasion."

"I am with you on this Rabb … that is why I lobbied against it."

Harm shook his head.

"You belong in the Navy anyway … you work better when there are rules to break – the company is just a little too loose – amoral for a guy like you."

Harm really tried to focus but still could not see him in the dark. "Did you just say something nice to me?"

"I won't make a habit of it."

"See that you don't."

The conversation waned as each man fell into their own thoughts.

Sometime later Harm noticed that Webb's breathing was ragged. He tried to rouse him, but Webb was out. He still had a faint pulse. Harm's head was spitting. He leaned his head against the wall and thought. 'I am just going to close my eyes for a minute.'

Hours Later

Harm came to consciousness. He knew he was on a plane, but he was not flying. A hand held his very tightly.

"Hey sailor, welcome back." Mac said softly.

"Where am I?" He asked.

"On our way to Germany. Lie still." She ordered.

"What happened?" He turned his head so he could focus on her.

"We got to you … finally. We used your cell phone like a tracking beacon."

"I don't remember."

"You got a pretty nasty hit on the head – thank God for your thick skull." She gently touched his face around the bandages.

"I don't remember." He repeated.

She leaned down to whisper in his ear. "If you say you don't remember me …"

"I know you." He smiled. "I could never forget your beautiful smile." He kissed her cheek. He turned with a start. "What's your name again?" He laughed.

She did too.

"Webb?" Harm tried to lean up and look around.

She pressed him back down on the bed. He expression was sad. "He is alive." She nodded to the other side. "But barely. He lost a lot of blood and hasn't regained consciousness."

Harm squeezed her hand. "He'll make it. He made it this far."

"I have been saying the same thing over and over to myself about both of you."

"And here I am."

She brought her face very close to his. "Thank you." She wanted to say, thank you for no dying, but kept that part to herself.

Harm heard it anyway. He tried to lift his arm to hold her – he forgot it was broken. Instead he pressed her hand again. "I will never leave you, Sarah." He felt her let a breath out. "I promise."

She looked so sad. She had lost so much in her life - so many people. To be reminded again how precious and precarious a life was, how dangerous it was to love a man like Harmon Rabb and yet to still be willing to put herself out there, to risk with a very real chance of losing - again. She was proud of herself for not walling herself off.

"Mac?" He asked.

She sat back slightly to look in his eyes. "Make me a promise you can keep." She looked deeply into his eyes. "Promise me that you will do everything you can to come back."

"Promise." His smile was sad. He knew he could not promise not to die and he knew how much it cost her to risk that again. Harm was not unfamiliar with people he loved dying. "I promise to do whatever it takes to get back to you – back to us." He meant that more than just physically. He would fight through all their bullshit to keep them together.

She pressed her lips lightly against his and said a silent 'thank you.'

**The End of Old Friends**

**The Sequel is Old Friends, New Relationships**


End file.
